What am I missing about baby sleep?

amother

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:53 am

I took an online course before my baby was born and it said to not create sleep associations by holding/rocking/nursing your baby to sleep, just lay them down in the bassinet drowsy but awake and let them fall asleep on their own.

Do any babies actually do that??? Mine seems to have been born with sleep associations 🤷‍♀️

amother

Smokey

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:57 am

Babies with very very easier temperaments can just fall asleep like that (unicorn babies). Majority of babies don’t have such temperaments and- drowsy but awake does NOT work. So when someone gets all excited that their baby just falls asleep nicely it’s nothing that they as a parent are doing- it’s the temperament the baby was born with. My baby never would have done that… needed close contact to fall asleep, nursing, rocking etc which is so normal!! They were just in you for 9 months. Don’t listen to those online sleep forums. And all babies are born with sleep associations! It’s so normal and healthy for them to fall asleep on you. They won’t be doing this in college. They will learn on their own how to sleep. No need to teach.

amother

Maize

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:57 am

Yes I did this from day 1. I would change diaper, nurse, unlatch when baby got sleepy and wasn’t really sucking. Put baby down awake in the bassinet. Baby would fall asleep in 5 minutes. But I made sure to always do it at a specific time before baby was tired. It’s totally doable.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:58 am

amother Maize wrote:

This only works because of your babies temperament. Doesn’t normally work.

amother

Maize

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:58 am

amother Smokey wrote:

Mine is a stubborn one not an easy temperament. But I leaned with my other kids. I feel I did break their natural abilities.

amother

Maize

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 11:59 am

amother Smokey wrote:

This only works because of your babies temperament. Doesn’t normally work.

Nope. Said kid is older and my hardest. But sleep is a non issue because I followed cues from day 1.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 12:01 pm

amother Maize wrote:

Nope. Said kid is older and my hardest. But sleep is a non issue because I followed cues from day 1.

They could be harder but their temperament may just allow for drowsy but awake….

tichellady

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 12:09 pm

My kids would cry in their bassinets and only nap when hold. And I read all the books but unfortunately the kids didn’t read them

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 12:19 pm

Some babies are more needy than others. And my easiest baby had reflux in the beginning so she struggled to sleep unless upright. At a month old she flipped over to her stomach and stayed there...and started sleeping amazing. She also became an avid thumb sucker....my youngest would rub her eyes when starting to get tired and went to sleep within 5 minutes. But most babies need to be held a lot in the beginning.

icedcoffee

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:27 pm

"Drowsy but awake" is sooooo much easier said than done. All babies want their mom's warmth and comfort and smell. They're not stupid, they know lying on us is way better than being alone in a bassinet. I embraced the physical contact until a few months later when we were both ready (me+baby) to start weaning off him sleeping on top of me.

amother

Vanilla

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:29 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

I would say some babies are less needy than others. Those are the ones who can fall asleep on their own.
It's completely physiologically normal for babies to want to be close to their mothers at all times. It's how we humans are wired.

amother

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:33 pm

icedcoffee wrote:

And you were able to do it then?
I'm on maternity leave now and loving the snuggles but I know I don't want my baby to only be able to nap on me always...

amother

Smokey

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

And you were able to do it then?
I'm on maternity leave now and loving the snuggles but I know I don't want my baby to only be able to nap on me always...

Don’t worry about having caregivers put her to sleep when the time is ready. My baby needed to be fed/nursed to sleep and we did so many contact naps. She napped in daycare when I sent her back at 14 weeks. They know what they’re doing the teachers.

amother

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:57 pm

amother Maize wrote:

Did he cry for those 5 minutes? Or just lay there quietly and then drift off

amother

Maize

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 1:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Did he cry for those 5 minutes? Or just lay there quietly and then drift off

Lay there quietly, no crying and slowly drifted off.

amother

Maize

Fri, Feb 09 2024, 2:01 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

They could be harder but their temperament may just allow for drowsy but awake….

It has no connection. And it does work if you try it right from the start. Unless something is wrong like reflux or other physical issue.

amother

Mimosa

Sat, Feb 10 2024, 5:06 pm

I view putting them down 'drowsy but awake' it as a goal rather than the starting point. We start it from the beginning, but the baby doesn't always agree, and it becomes a learning process for both of us to balance their sleep, my sleep, and being put down drowsy but awake. We work with them gently, and eventually with a little crying if needed when they are older. If we work towards it, they get there, some sooner than others, and some later than others. Just keep trying and trying and don't stress over it, they will most likely get there if you keep trying.