Stop telling me my baby is small!

amother

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 1:53 pm

Yes I have a small baby. She’s in the 3%. She was born small weighing 6 pounds full term. But she’s gaining at her rate! She’s growing beautifully, she’s happy she’s healthy she’s alert and hitting all her milestones. Some even early! She’s smart and cute and beautiful.
Yet all anyone sees is that she’s soo small. “Omg she’s tiny!! Do you feed her?”
“When my baby was that old he weighed 20 pounds!”
“She weighs that much? That’s how much mine weighed when he was born!”

Ughhh the comments are not appreciated. They make me doubt if She really is getting enough to eat. They make me beat myself up that maybe I did something wrong that she was born so small.
I wish people would realize that not all baby's have to be big and chubby!
Ok rant over

amother

Periwinkle

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:05 pm

I had huge kids and a tiny (relatively) one.
In my experience, it's all conversation. Baby and toddlerhood is the only time it's appropriate to mention their size LOL

The size of your child doesn't correlate to what you offer them to eat, and will not necessarily mean they will stay the same as they grow.

amother

Lightgray

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:10 pm

Have the same with my baby
Her daycare teacher in particular loves telling me how small she is for her age, how easy it must have been to push her out, and how I should really check if she’s getting enough milk.

Drives me crazy but I just say “thanks but she’s just small, her pediatrician isn’t worried”

amother

Tealblue

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:19 pm

My 3yo is 1st percentile for height and weight. She's always been small. It didn't bother me at all if people commented when she was a baby. We're all small in my family and we teach our kids to value what's really important in life, not just your physical appearance.
OP, is it possible you feel a little defensive for some reason? I'm not trying to hurt you, but it just doesn't seem to make sense to me why it bothers you so much. Is it possible you feel vulnerable in this area? If so, please try to address that. A small baby who is growing on her own curve should never reflect poorly on your parenting.

zaq

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:20 pm

With some people you can't win. If the baby is petite "Do you ever feed her?" and if she's big, "How much are you feeding her, you need to stop!"

Ignore the tabbies. You're the mom, they're not. You know your baby, they don't.
Consider them like those tiny little bugs that fly around in summer--annoying, but meaningless.

amother

Blonde

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:22 pm

I think you’re taking it too personally. My baby was massive and it wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do. People asked just to make conversation. It’s something to talk about after someone has a baby.

amother

Oak

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:25 pm

Try not to let it get to you. I don’t think anyone means any harm. They just call it as they see it.
My baby was born at just under 500 g (delivered super early obviously) and at first all the comments were about how tiny he was and how you can clearly see all his ribs.
Then he started picking up weight and really gained at a ridiculous rate and everyone switched to calling him “fatso” and “little fresser” and “you’re just giving him a tub of ice cream every time he’s hungry?”
None of it is intended to be offensive or make you feel bad. It’s just what people do when it comes to babies.

tweety1

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:44 pm

In my defense, when I say it means a serious compliment. Personally I think tiny babies are cuter. I think it's one of hashems wonders that a baby despite being tiny is reaching its milestones, is smart, knows what he or she wants. I go crazy over small babies.

amother

Bronze

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 3:01 pm

My baby was in the 3rd percentile after having dropped from above average. It took a few months to get her to stop dropping and start growing along her (low percentile) curve. During those months, though, people's comments didn't exactly help me be less worried, so I agree that people shouldn't comment. No, they probably dont mean anything by it, but I think that's more of a reason not to comment. If they're actually concerned about her wellbeing, then it may be the right time to do/say something...
It's normal to comment, though. So I wasn't ever upset at people for doing so, just increasingly concerned about my child.

amother

Whitewash

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 1:40 pm

OP, ttly with you.
My baby was born just over 5lbs. Small, but healthy bH. He's still off the charts for height and weight now almost 2.5 years later, but his growth curve is perfect so no one is worried. I was small for my age until I was in high school, too, and so were a bunch of my siblings. I'm not worried about my baby because I know it's a normal growth pattern for my family (and we all end up either average or above). The doctor isn't worried either. He's hitting all his milestones, eats beautifully, everything is great.
I knew the comments shouldn't bother me, but they did anyway. Logically I knew ppl were just trying to make conversation, but it drove me nuts anyway.
So I don't have any solutions for you, just saying I hear you and I get it. You're not the only one who is bothered by it.

amother

Red

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 2:28 pm

My smallest baby was 8 lbs. My biggest was 10lbs. My first grandchild was less than 6 lbs. I was terrified to hold her!! Smile

BH' I learned not to be afraid to hold such a small baby. Enjoy your sweet little one. When we see such small babies, we are just amazed! Its something we never had.

amother

Cornsilk

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 2:29 pm

I have 2 kids, the first is tiny and the second is huge. I get/got comments on both. The funniest comments though are about the pair of them because one is small and skinny and the other is tall and chubby ('are you sure they're related?'). You just can't please people, so I mostly just agree and move on to the topic of how cute they are. Yeah, she's such little thing, isn't she so cute? Yes, she's so chubby, isn't it so adorable? Then they usually move on because people only have so much tolerance to talk about how cute someone else's baby is LOL

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 3:58 pm

Sorry, If I am the woman that stopped you at school and asked you if you had a baby in your carriage.

It really looked like it was empty.

Your baby is adorable knh.
Tiny babiies are gorgeous.

amother

Stoneblue

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 6:59 pm

6 lbs is not that small. One of mine was 6 lbs the other two were around 6.4 lbs.

People don't mean it badly when they say she's small, I think they find it cute. I love this baby stage when they're so tiny and newborn. I also say to people 'I forgot how small newborns are', it's not meant as a negative, it's just something which surprises every time. It's amazing actually.

amother

DarkViolet

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 7:11 pm

amother Red wrote:

My smallest baby was 8 lbs. My biggest was 10lbs. My first grandchild was less than 6 lbs. I was terrified to hold her!! Smile

BH' I learned not to be afraid to hold such a small baby. Enjoy your sweet little one. When we see such small babies, we are just amazed! Its something we never had.

2 of my good friends (how random?) have their kids on growth hormones because they are very small. One had IUGR and he’s having upsherin soon but he’s in a size 18m. I think the other has just tiny genes but she’s starting her kid on shots as a preteen.

I try to be sensitive but they know that my kids are shockingly massive for my family and we laugh about the contrast sometimes- I have to buy clothing a bit big and want to push my kid ahead and she has the opposite… Like the poster above I am obsessssed with small babies and a bit scared to hold them. I know my friends did absolutely nothing wrong or anything, this is how their kids are made.