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amother
OP
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 Sun, Feb 18 2024, 12:48 pm
I’m looking to move and have been checking the classifieds everywhere. This morning I bumped into an apartment described as a “ground floor apartment”.
I got a video tour of the apartment and was amused to discover that “ground floor” apparently means the floor that’s in the ground because that was, without a doubt, a basement apartment.
I started composing a list of things that homes and apartments are advertised as, and what they really mean
Feel free to add your own!
Quaint = ancient
Roomy = some semblance of having a room
Lots of sunlight = holes in the wall
Charming = there might be bears hiding under all that garbage so it’s almost like Goldilocks!
Delightful = only one bare bulb hanging I think the dining room
Ideal for young couple = No one with any life’s experience will take this one
1.5 bathroom = 1 Bathroom plus a complimentary bar of soap
Adorable = so small only your dolls can really live there
Landlord pays utilities = so insignificantly small and illegal that separate metering is neither practical nor possible
Nice area = not located within a war zone yet
Located on a beautiful block = the apartment is so ugly that the only nice thing about it is everything outside of it
Pets allowed = rat infested so cats are a plus
“Prime” Flatbush etc = somewhere within or without of the designated area
Flatbush area = Bay Ridge or further
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 12:51 pm
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A “gem” = cavernous with potential for roof caving in. Hard hat recommended
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 12:57 pm
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Renovated = we fixed the toilet flusher and put in a new shower curtain rod!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 12:58 pm
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Airy = no carbon monoxide detector included, no rep as to what gases float around
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:02 pm
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Backyard = there’s some moss growing in the pavement
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scintilla
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:03 pm
Ideal for roommates= single bathroom, no living room/dining room to speak of since it's been converted to a bedroom
Spacious - see roomy above, qualifies as a space legally
Great view - a million steps, elevator optional
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:04 pm
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Semi attached = I’d sleep on the attached side if I were you
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scintilla
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:04 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Backyard = there’s some moss growing in the pavement |
This for outdoor space too 😂
Or my favorite, "access to shared outdoor space" = free late night boombox concerts
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:04 pm
| scintilla wrote: | Ideal for roommates= single bathroom, no living room/dining room to speak of since it's been converted to a bedroom
Spacious - see roomy above, qualifies as a space legally
Great view - a million steps, elevator optional |
😂
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amother
Indigo
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:08 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I’m looking to move and have been checking the classifieds everywhere. This morning I bumped into an apartment described as a “ground floor apartment”.
I got a video tour of the apartment and was amused to discover that “ground floor” apparently means the floor that’s in the ground because that was, without a doubt, a basement apartment.
I started composing a list of things that homes and apartments are advertised as, and what they really mean
Feel free to add your own!
Quaint = ancient
Roomy = some semblance of having a room
Lots of sunlight = holes in the wall
Charming = there might be bears hiding under all that garbage so it’s almost like Goldilocks!
Delightful = only one bare bulb hanging I think the dining room
Ideal for young couple = No one with any life’s experience will take this one
1.5 bathroom = 1 Bathroom plus a complimentary bar of soap
Adorable = so small only your dolls can really live there
Landlord pays utilities = so insignificantly small and illegal that separate metering is neither practical nor possible
Nice area = not located within a war zone yet
Located on a beautiful block = the apartment is so ugly that the only nice thing about it is everything outside of it
Pets allowed = rat infested so cats are a plus
“Prime” Flatbush etc = somewhere within or without of the designated area
Flatbush area = Bay Ridge or further |
Spot on!
Especially the 1.5 bathroom and suitable for young couple.
Hang in there op. I found a house. Not the house of my dreams but roof over our heads BH.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:08 pm
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Move-in ready = door doesn’t lock/close properly, nothing preventing you from stepping in
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scintilla
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:09 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Move-in ready = door doesn’t lock/close properly, nothing preventing you from stepping in |
I need a laugh button for all of them but especially this one 🤣 OP you should get in touch with the Kichels.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:10 pm
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Kid-friendly = the neighborhood kids have been using this place as their playground
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:10 pm
| scintilla wrote: | | I need a laugh button for all of them but especially this one 🤣 OP you should get in touch with the Kichels. |
I can’t claim full credit! Some of these, including that one, was from my sister
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mommyla
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:13 pm
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Cozy = you can touch all of the walls simultaneously
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:13 pm
Porch = fire escape
Private entrance = also the fire escape!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:14 pm
| mommyla wrote: | | Cozy = you can touch all of the walls simultaneously |
😂 I actually snorted
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a2z
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:15 pm
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Second contacting kichels
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