Do people still do hand-me-downs?

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 2:39 am

Please answer if you are in a European community (London/Antwerp/ Zurich) and not a gvir or any kind of a central figure in a community.

I am planning to move and want to find out if it is worth it to bring along stuff for babies and for tweens.

I personally usually use a lot of hand me downs from my kids, as long as they look current. I don’t like frum style h&m and zara all that much, I will sometimes buy clothes that look more like „in the streets“.

Anyway do you think it’s okay to use hand me downs for everyday daycare outfits or for the kids to play outside ? Or is it a faux-pas and I will not be „in“ enough?
I own a bugaboo and a lacetop sheitel so maybe that helps, but I am also not young or cutw and have teenagers as well.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 3:43 am

amother Melon wrote:

Nobody would know if it’s a hand me down..

It doesn’t look like a trendiest style.
Maybe it’s a washed out hoodie in a bright color

amother

Khaki ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 4:20 am

I’m in London and yes I keep the older kids clothes for the younger ones.
I wouldn’t know if someone else’s child is wearing hand me downs and I don’t think anyone notices what my kids wear either!

Il add im in golders green.

I also have a bugaboo and lace top when I am not wearing my fall!

amother

Strawberry

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 4:40 am

I keep hand-me-downs especially for nursery etc nobody notices.
I have 3 lace tops and a bugaboo. I'm not sure what the relevance is. I live in Hendon

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:09 am

I know I sound extremely superficial but this website and my real life experience shows there IS indeed an in-crowd and in-trends and I am trying to fit in, so my kids at least don’t feel bad about themselves.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:26 am

amother OP wrote:

There is, but this is the attitude that perpetuates the toxicity. It's like giving in to a bully.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:36 am

European mom here. I don't pass down now that my kids are mostly teenagers and up so doesn't work anymore. But when they were younger I most definitly did.

Please enlighten me what the Bugaboo and lace top have to do with anything, I don't own either and don't see any pattern. Like if you have a bugaboo it means you buy better quality clothes so you pass down?? Or if you own a lace top you're up there with the best of them and it's beneath you to pass down??

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 6:36 am

I think it makes a difference if your kids are only wearing hand me downs, or if they have a few newer more in style clothes and you supplement with some older things. If you kids are always dressed in styles from 15 years ago, they will not be considered 'in' (not that I think we should judge people by what they wear, and I personally couldnt care less, but many people do) but if they have a mix of clothes and sometimes wear the latest styles and sometimes older clothes that's fine.

amother

Amaryllis

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 7:08 am

Golders green mum here.
My kids have some hand me downs - because I know how to buy well, I try to wash/preserve well, and store well. Baruch H we have plenty money, H has been very good to us, but it's a mindset.
Seriously nobody is looking as much as you think they will be.
Oh and re the bugaboo, just remember most of the couples have it gifted by the parents, so it doesn't indicate very much besides them being sheep.

amother

↑ Khaki

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 7:59 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t know where you will be coming from, but a lot of the pressures I read about on this website are totally alien to me living here in London.
For the most part, it’s a very live and let live community. This will differ somewhat depending on what schools you plan to send to, but generally nobody actually cares about anyone else’s look. I’ve chosen schools that it doesn’t matter!

amother

PlumPink

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 9:09 am

I'm a proud Brooklyn mom of kids that are very well dressed in hand me downs. If it's, in good condition, why not. (along with the lace and the bugaboo)

amother

Pear

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 1:00 pm

I try and buy clothes that a little less dated, so it doesn't really matter. Like a plain colored hoody or skirt is never 'out of fashion'. I think the people that do hand-me-downs will always do it, and some will never do it.
My sil would be horrified to reuse clothing, but is more than happy to pass it onto me or my other sil, who will reuse it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:50 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

The reason why I am mentioning these things is tht those are current attributes of being „in“ in the frum world. So we will be new and I want to fit in as much as possible. So even though I may not dress my kids in frum fashion, I do fit in in other ways.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 7:19 pm

If you want to fit in you “need” to dress your kids in frum fashion or clothes that resemble/imitate frum fashion in style or color from other stores.
Only about 10% of old navy, target, Walmart stuff are ok (also because the fabric is thin and skimpy) and 50% of Zara and h&m and that’s current season!

But really the main thing is that the stuff should be in good condition, top and bottom match, fit well, Basically your kids should look clean and put together.

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 7:24 pm

amother Ecru wrote:

OP is referring to Europe, not the US.

I think in Europe the pressure is less than the US since there are just less options. There aren't so many Jewish store options so buying cheaper non-Jewish brands is much more accepted.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 9:36 am

amother Ecru wrote:

You have a point

amother

Daffodil

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 10:08 am

Where are you moving from? Im not in Europe but styles start there and then slowly float across the pond. It takes a while for American styles to catch up to European and by the time they do Europe is on to newer styles. So if going from America to Europe leave all old clothes behind. Not worth it.

amother

Topaz ↓

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 11:07 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

Not in the frum world.

Europe takes time to catch up with American frum styles. Like op is talking about a bugaboo but no one in in-town America would call a bugaboo fancy lol.

Op, it depends on the crowd and schools you send honestly. Lots of simple people here.

Everyone lives and let’s live here (London). Unless you’re moving to Antwerp which in my opinion is the real fancy Europe with the fancy European quality style and brands.

HTB I’m American so my kids are more up to date but honestly on one cares how my kids dress. It’s very chilled. My friends LOVE my hand me downs. I wish I had someone with my style to take from but I don’t.