Friends who needs them?

Tefila

Sun, Dec 11 2005, 10:54 pm

U know at the end of the day we can alienate ourselves from the others in this world for very holy/ heiliger reasons, is this our purpose I think not . Look in Perkei avos the basic.
Yes we need friends, like a fish needs water. so at what expense? sometimes we have to say blow the mishegas and lets find something in common and yes sometimes we have to stand our ground, even if it means losing a friend
Can anyone share an example of eigther way?

RedVines

Mon, Dec 12 2005, 10:10 am

You know recently I went a whole day without one phonecal from me or to me...and I got through the day, with my kids and my hubby (and this website) and I was like, do I even have any friends? and the answer is yes and I do speak to them but I notice that as I get older, the "list"decreases. It is sad but I, like them, dont have the time.
Yesturday I spoke for an hour to a friend that we speak about once every two months. It was aso uplifting to speak to her, so I know you need them!!!
That personal connection is wonderful. It can bring you back to the days when you were just you: and you had friends for just you.

deedee

Mon, Dec 12 2005, 10:13 am

all of my friends live out of my area so we only speak on the phone. and not very often! life is just soooo busy, who has time to talk on the phone-besides I cant type and talk at the same tiime Wink

Tefila

Mon, Dec 12 2005, 4:32 pm

You know my husband taught me something important if one doesn't make an effort to have and keep their friends thru good times then thru bad when one will need it they may not have them eigther.

RedVines

Tue, Dec 13 2005, 10:20 am

My Dh makes a point to contact one or two friends before 9 a.m (we have a good time difference) that way he has connected etc.

I also started keeping up with some family members via email. Just for that reason.

Pearl

Tue, Dec 13 2005, 10:49 am

Quote:

freilich wrote:

yes sometimes we have to stand our ground, even if it means losing a friend
Can anyone share an example of eigther way?

I had 2 girlfriends I loved very much. both disrespected my husband and our marriage, so I ended the friendships (this is obviously in a nutshell, but you get the point), and til this day I don't miss them. it was the right decission.

yes, we do need friends. I treasure mine, but I must admit, most contact is through phone, email and msn.... I don't have time/energy to meet with them. also, most of them don't live in the same country, so hurray for modern technology! Very Happy

Tefila

Tue, Dec 13 2005, 4:27 pm

U know it doesn't mean meeting them daily, nor calling daily, but once a week make an effort. Ask about them and their familys. You know sometimes by letting friends assist us even though we want to be independant and don't want their favours means alot. e.g. out of just being nice a friend of mine bought my girl an outfit well imo it's chaloshes but why hurt her she went all the way to vages to buy it. So rather then hurt her feelings I swallow my pride and dress my daughter in this outfit. Ok it doesn't mean letting them tread all over you, or run your life. plus it's important to choose carefully but thats my general take on friends.

Amother there must be somewhere, someone u know who truly cares Exclamation

can't you make them u'r friend Wink

amother

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 10:34 am

I'm not talking about meeting or speaking to friends daily. Weeks and months can go by without a single phone call from friends. The phone rarely rings, when it does it's a wrong number...

Freilich, I do make an effort, I call, I offer to help e.g. make meals after baby, invite people for shabbos etc. but nobody reciprocates and it gets to a certain point where enough is enough of making an effort. If it's one-sided, it''s not a friendship.

So I am lonely and friendless. I don't know what I am doing wrong or what I could do different.

Crying

Tefila

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 4:17 pm

Well amother for one how about pming me Tongue Out

I would love to get to know you and hey we could be friends too Very Happy

jewgal84

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 4:39 pm

"Friends are like the flowers in life's garden."

"Many people walk in and out of your lives, but friends leave footprints in your heart."

shanie5

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 11:23 pm

amother- all of my friends call me. I almost never call them. I've always hated phones-making the calls, not receiving them. even today, I dont call paople and say "hi! how are u" . I can only do it if I need something- like a question answered, an appt., or a favor. its not cuz I dont like people, I have phonaphobia. so B"H my friends still call me.

shanie5

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:34 am

I said I dont make calls. I have a cell phone attached to me and it never stops ringing!!
[although my dh does love me anyway Very Happy

]

Pearl

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 9:04 am

Quote:

freilich wrote:

Well amother for one how about pming me Tongue Out

I would love to get to know you and hey we could be friends too Very Happy

ditto!!!

Rivk

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 10:36 am

Shanie5 - I'm the same way. Even in High School I was never a phone person. But I do return calls if someone leaves me a message. And I always appreciate it and enjoy it when a friend calls me. For some reason I just don't make the first move!

deedee

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 10:52 am

most of my friends have to call me too. its much easier for me to email. to all my friends out there-
I love ur phone calls, even though I hardly ever answer my phone! please dont ever stop calling Smile

hadasa

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 11:37 am

I've lost contact with most of my friends. Sad

I never really made the effort to keep up with them, and I also have phonaphobia. I have friends where I live, but since I'm supposedly the "Rebbetzin" Rolling Eyes

and they're also all employed by my husband it's hard to keep it equal. I think imamother is my substitute for friendship.