S/o sibling rivalry, really don't get along!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Sat, Mar 02 2024, 11:36 pm

My two are girls, 9 and 13... They get along nicely on a regular week, about 10 percent of the time... It's either annoying each other (purposely or inadvertently), arguing, yelling, being obnoxious or ignoring etc etc.

I've talked to them each ad nauseum separately and together - nothing helped yet. I've tried keeping them apart, not by physically moving - just strongly suggesting (both) or ordering (the 9 year old anyway).

They are both nice girls BH. Each has her own triggers and annoyances. The younger has copied the older one for years. It's been discussed, as well.

Please feel free to suggest some practical solutions to try. I've read books years ago, nowadays I don't have the time bH.

Tia!

amother

Catmint

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 12:28 am

No advice just hugs mama!!! My mother always says bh for healthy children problems. So I try to keep that in mind but I have a household of girls of all ages and the bickering and complaining get to me at times even when I try to keep things calm

amother

Caramel

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 12:34 am

Stories of Tzaddikim or if you must, make them up. Children identify with stories and will take the lessons to heart.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 12:49 am

Sometimes siblings just don't get along.
My sister is 3 years younger than me and we never got along. I'm 40 and I rarely talk to her. When we're together for yom tov or simchas we're nice to each other, but we're so different and our personalities just don't mesh.

amother

Honeysuckle

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 1:18 am

amother Goldenrod wrote:

Same exact story.
We never got along growing up.
We're in our mid 40s. We are very cordial and nice to each other but we speak maybe 3 times a year.

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:25 am

Thing is they are pretty similar.

The older one always minds the younger ones business, which obviously usually is not appreciated. She acts often as a pseudo mom, although I remind her there is a real one bH.

The younger one likes to be involved in everything, including things she doesn't need to be or shouldn't be... So, it angers the older one when it's her things.

What are good ideas to help the here and now. I'm not thinking for the future I. The sense of whether they will or won't get along as grown ups. I just really don't want a house filled animosity...

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:25 am

amother Caramel wrote:

Stories of Tzaddikim or if you must, make them up. Children identify with stories and will take the lessons to heart.

We read stories all the time. Doesn't seem to make an impression.
Any particular ones you recommend?

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