S/o large ratio babysitter

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:02 am

I do not understand how people send to a babysitter with a large ratio. How do you expect your child to not be neglected?? Can you manage 8 babies by yourseLf? Is it humanly possible? How are you ok with your baby screaming all day because the morah cannot possibly take care of your baby and so many others at the same time. Oh wait they probably stop screaming after about a week because they learn to give up. Poor babies.

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:33 am

amother Phlox wrote:

My baby spent 2 months in thr NICU, and I can assure you that it was no better!

I’m not sure I understand what you mean

amother

Offwhite

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:40 am

amother Phlox wrote:

My baby spent 2 months in thr NICU, and I can assure you that it was no better!

I second that. I didn’t let my baby into the nursery at night because I came to check it out. There were a ton of screaming babies with one overwhelmed nurse. NYC hospital - not some tent in India.

amother

Leaf

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:41 am

amother Phlox wrote:

My baby spent 2 months in thr NICU, and I can assure you that it was no better!

Huh??? How in the world is that the same as a babysitter with a lot of babies in their charge?
There is not one nurse to 8 babies in the nicu.
How can you compare?

amother

Currant

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:47 am

amother Phlox wrote:

My baby spent 2 months in thr NICU, and I can assure you that it was no better!

That’s awful but it wasn’t your choice.
I agree with OP. I know plenty of people who send their babies to a babysitter who is watching another 5-8 babies in addition to their baby. How is that not neglect?
And to the babysitters who watch so many babies by themselves- shame on you. I don’t care how badly you need the money. There’s no way you are taking proper care of so many babies at the same time

amother

Azure

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:51 am

amother OP wrote:

Why are you so worried what other people are doing? Send to a babysitter you like and let others send to a babysitter they like. Nobody needs to explain to you their life choices.

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:52 am

amother Azure wrote:

Why are you so worried what other people are doing? Send to a babysitter you like and let others send to a babysitter they like. Nobody needs to explain to you their life choices.

Because these poor innocent babies can’t speak up for themselves.

amother

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:53 am

amother Azure wrote:

Why are you so worried what other people are doing? Send to a babysitter you like and let others send to a babysitter they like. Nobody needs to explain to you their life choices.

Getting defensive, no need to explain but it certainly sounds like you need to rethink yours

amother

Azure

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 9:58 am

amother OP wrote:

Getting defensive, no need to explain but it certainly sounds like you need to rethink yours

I'm not getting defensive. I don't send to a babysitter. I just the the amount of mom shaming that goes on here is disgusting.

amother

Cherry

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:00 am

I don't consider this mom shaming, I consider it educating. Unfortunately many mothers don't realize that there are "norms" that are completely detrimental to children. This is one of them.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:01 am

amother Leaf wrote:

Huh??? How in the world is that the same as a babysitter with a lot of babies in their charge?
There is not one nurse to 8 babies in the nicu.
How can you compare?

They are pretty neglectful there. Almost killed my baby twice, and had I not questioned why they were doing something the doctor said not to do who knows if that kid would be here today. Luckily I caught it fast enough they were able to quickly deal with the fall out. They are overworked and dealing with way more babies than they should and they cannot keep track of which baby needs what.

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:02 am

My toddler went to a group of 15 kids, 3 morah's. He was miserable. He came home so wound up & crazy, I couldn't calm him down. He smelled, he was starved. I pulled him out & put him in a group with 1 morah, 8 kids. He absolutely loved it. He was calm. He was so so well taken care of.
Whenever I went to pick him up early, it was so calm there. The morah is absolutely amazing & I don't regret the decision to put him in a group with 1 morah.

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:02 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m not sure I understand what you mean

I understand what she's saying. My baby was in NICU and was in his sterile incubator 95% of the time, no skin to skin let alone being held, fed thru an NG tube etc etc. Obviously there was no choice but tbh he has no attatchment issues or any other lasting effects.

Now lets say a regular full term newborn is treated like this, can you imagine the hue and cry??

I'm not saying that people should knowingly chose an irresponsible babysitting setup, just pointing out that I can see where this poster is coming from.

Just wait a few years...a study that NICU babies are sure to have issues will come out, forcing hospitals to change the way premature babies are looked after.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:14 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

Its very sad and thats why a mother or father must be in the NICU with the baby. You can just leave your baby there alone as much as possible. The babies who have a relative with them get much better care.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:16 am

amother Azure wrote:

I'm not getting defensive. I don't send to a babysitter. I just the the amount of mom shaming that goes on here is disgusting.

Education isn't mom shaming.
Moms who send to babysitters with high ratios, which is really more then 1:3, need to be educated.
If they understand the harm they are doing to their babies, they wouldn't do it. They need education.
Education isnt mom shaming.

amother

Azure

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:19 am

amother Seablue wrote:

So you think all the moms who send to a babysitter with more than a 1:3 ratio isn't educated? You think most moms don't want what's best for their baby? Baloney. It's mostly for financial reasons and people are trying to do the best they can. If you really want to educate why don't you make events where you give speeches and present all the data about the dangers of sending to a babysitter with more than 3 kids instead of posting here anonymously? Or why don't you start a tzedakah organization to help pay for small ratio babysitters so you can help the poor moms who can't afford it?

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:21 am

amother Azure wrote:

A tzedaka organization geared towards this would be an incredible initiative. I dream of starting something like this. If we understood the importance of the first years of life on someone's whole life we would prioritize the funding for this.

amother

Azure

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:24 am

amother Seablue wrote:

So stop dreaming about it and do it. And I'm sure you will yet a lot of contributions from all the concerned moms here who are constantly putting other moms down for their terrible choices.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 03 2024, 10:25 am

amother Azure wrote:

So stop dreaming about it and do it. And I'm sure you will yet a lot of contributions from all the concerned moms here who are constantly putting other moms down for their terrible choices.

Posting about this here is important as well. Education is the first step to change.