What’s the typical amount to tip elementary rebbi on Purim?

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 10:28 pm

amother Honey wrote:

Tips are all about hakaras hatov. I remember a time where I was resentful to give the extra cash. I’ve come a long way in realizing just how much these rabbeim and teachers do! I would never trade jobs with them!! Every year I increase the amount I give- not only because of inflation, but because my gratitude grows. I have one son that’s extremely challenging and the rabbeim give so much extra time and effort for him so for that kid I give a lot more than the others. I start at $150 for Purim (chanuka I give a bit more) and go up for the challenging kid , or if a Rebbi is beyond the norm. In general though, I have a really good feeling giving. They deserve it!!! When you go to a restaurant, you tip the waiter 18% that does absolutely nothing but bring over a couple plates. Don’t you think a teacher deserves more?

The ONLY part that bothers me is that the rabbeim just expect it. One year, I didn’t give my check on time because I was away, and I got a note thanking me for the gift!! It just became automatic - they include a thank you to the class in the newsletter or something- and not a personal thank you which is what I see it as.

You increase the amount you give because you can afford to. It doesn't mean that people who don't give as much as you don't appreciate the teachers as much as you.

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 10:34 pm

kenz wrote:

Wow, yasher ko’ach to you. That’s really a true display of hakaras hatov.

It's not any more of a display of hakaras hatov than my $18 check is.
We need to STOP conflating the amount of money to the level of hakaras hatov.
The truth is that we all pretty much have the same level of hakaras hatov, but different financial abilities.

amother

DarkYellow

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

100%!
Gifts have nothing to do with how grateful you are.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 10:46 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

I'm giving an $18 check (to rebbeim and morahs).
Pathetic, I know. But I can't afford more.
I stretched myself to give $36 for chanukah and I can't do another round of that again.

And before anyone jumps on me that I should prioritize, just realize my wigs are 10 years old. There is so little hair left on it you can see through to the cap. My car is an old 2008. Clothing for my kids is all hand me downs. My weekly grocery list is bare bones minimum. There is nothing else for me to cut out of my budget

And regarding pesach expenses, unlike the rebbeim I won't be getting chasdei lev, gift cards or a cash bonus. In fact, dh and I are both not paid for vacation time so the month of pesach means about 70% of the salary because of the week+ with no work, along with the huge Tom tov expenses

Not pathetic at all. Your 18$ has much more value than somebody else’s 100. I always say it isn’t chashuv when the rich guy gives 10,000$. It’s chashuv when the guy who can’t afford stretches to give $18. You should be proud of your sacrifice for your kids .

amother

Cyan

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 10:47 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

I don't give year end. And except on this site where people actually ask, most don't usually tell people how much money they give... so why is it that people are 'raising the standards' if it's not something you can even know?

Personally, I have an enormous amount of appreciation for all of my kids teachers. The ones that put in the most hours in school deserve to get the highest amount.

Im glad everyone is so sensitive where you live. I have heard discussions in person often about tipping and amounts.

I have tons of hakaras hatov but im very short on cash. Did you miss the part where my entire salary goes to tuition?

amother

DarkYellow

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 11:42 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

I'm sorry if it sounded like I was saying you aren't makir tov. Because I didn't mean that.
We had plenty of yrs where we gave no $ gifts
& I was the same grateful.

I was saying that I give personally as our expression of hakaras hatov- but everyone can & should do what is best for them, whether it's a plain mm, a note, or even just a thank you when u see the teacher.

And that's pathetic if ppl brag in public abt it. They should be looked at with rachmanus...obviously they r mainly giving for themselves & not the recipient.

amother

Gold

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 11:47 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

My 7th grade Lakewood son has his Rebbi from 7:45-2:45 s-th and 7:45-12:30 on Friday. That's close to 40 hours a week.
His English teacher is 2:45-4:45. M-Th. Thats 8 hours.

But I don't give such large variation.
Depending on my funds.
When English teaches get $18, Rebbeim get $36-$50.
When finances are better and the Rebbi gets $100-200, the English teacher gets way more also.
I basically give the English teacher 1/2-1/3 of what I give the Rebbi.though truthfully he works 1/4 of the hours.

My 7th grader has 3 English teachers though. Departmental...

amother

Honey

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 9:00 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

100%!
Gifts have nothing to do with how grateful you are.

Although I agree with this statement, I hear the way people talk about tipping the rabbeim and a lot of it is in the ATTITUDE. Ppl stretch themselves for the things important to them. Many ppl don’t think tipping is that important and skimp on it whereas they’ll splurge on other things for themselves. So it’s not about the amount given or the financial abilities per se I think it’s the attitude of how much they WANT to give. Someone stretching themselves to give $18 and giving it with a full heart of gratitude is more lofty than the guy who just nonchalantly rips out a $500 check. It’s all the mindset. I write my checks with love and appreciation, no matter what I can give at the time- I give as much as I can and I write a very heartfelt letter to go along with it.

amother

Tuberose

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:44 am

Where do you live that people do this? I live OOT, did not grow up frum. Our tuition is sky high. I try to give gifts on chanukah and purim but never money. Growing up not frum, giving a teacher money like a tip would have been considered very tacky, almost insulting. Is this just a Lakewood thing? Are oot teachers paid better?

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:50 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

They r probably paid better...my full tuition is 8600 for boys. Thats pennies compared to oot.
Plus our rebbeim work 11 months not 9.5.

I'm sure it's gotten a lot better but I taught in a school in the afternoon in Lakewood about 15 years ago and I got paid $15,000.

amother

Tuberose

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:53 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Ok. yes. our full boys ms tuition is almost 25K. elem 17K. And they only work 9.5 months a year.

amother

Glitter

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 11:31 am

My husband is an upper grade Rebbi, he works from 7:45 (shachris) until 3:00, Sunday through Friday (until 12:30), and is making $38,000 a year (11 months)

I obviously work as well, but every gift is so appreciated and goes such a long way!

amother

Holly

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:08 pm

Do what you can. In our days we gave $15,maybe $20 to the Rebbe. We just didn't have more. Please don't forget about the Almanos and Alman families and their children who are in need of Yeshous. Also all the newly Almanos in Israel who just lost their DH in the War.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:13 pm

I'm also from oot and this is all news to me. Is this really typically common for everybody to give money to their Rebbeim? How exactly do you give it, you just hand them an envelope? Seems a little awkward to me. Can anyone else from oot please respond if this is common

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:21 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

I usually give a wine or sparkling grape juice (depending on my budget) in a paper wine bag with a chocolate or package of wafer rolls.
I slip an envelope inside with a check or cash and thank you card.

My brother in law is a Rebbi. (In Lakewood).
His wife is just careful when dismantling the MM because there are cards, envelopes and drawn pictures slipped in or taped.

amother

Marigold

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:23 pm

amother Glitter wrote:

Exactly. This is why I try to give as much as I can.

amother

Peachpuff

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 3:55 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

Purim include w note. In mm or just hand envelope to rebbe when stop by (so does not get lost).

Chanukah, my son hands the note to his rebbe or we mail.

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:42 pm

I normally give $1800 to each English teacher and to each Rebee, and $500 to each assistant. This is for preschool. After that I just double it each year. Unless there is a fixed amount, then I just follow that.
Yes, I am just throwing random made up numbers out there in the hopes that someone else may get an extremely nice bonus this Purim! No, neither I or my husband are in the teaching industry, but I wish I would be able to throw money around like this!