Trigger warning. DS's mental health

amother

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:00 pm

I'm very worried for my DS. I feel sick to my stomach with worry right now. He has been having some issues with a boy in his class. He is 16.

They used to be friends but the other kid did something that was not good at all.

DS has days where he seems fine. He says he ignores the other kid.

Today, after I don't know what, he is acting like he has no reason to live. Saying things like he doesn't "want to do this anymore" and he is "so tired." It started with something by the other kid. DS thinks the other kid is poisoning his friends against him. At least that is what I gathered based on his limited convo with me.

He doesn't go to a yeshiva so I can't just talk to his rebbe.

I think he needs to be on meds but he refuses.

I feel like I basically have to wait and if he makes a suicidal gesture then I can take him to the ER but that is still not going to help the issue because he needs much more than that and the system by me is not very good at all when it comes to mental health.

I'm afraid that if I speak to the staff at school and social worker, it will make things worse for him.

I'm davening.

Thank you for letting me unload.

amother

Banana

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 8:52 pm

Does he have a therapist out of school? You need someone to help him who is not on school staff. You don’t just wait until he’s ready to hurt himself. Get him help now.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 10:37 pm

I'm so sorry for you, OP, this is hell.

Please don't wait. We waited, and it's only because of nissim and Chasdei Hashem that DC made it....

Contact a professional yourself NOW, and get them involved. Even if DS won't see anyone at this point, you need advice and support.

Sending love and hugs 🫂

DrMom

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 10:39 pm

He might not go to yeshiva, but there must be some adult on the staff of wherever he is learning who can help. A teacher? A school psychologist?

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 11:01 pm

DrMom wrote:

He might not go to yeshiva, but there must be some adult on the staff of wherever he is learning who can help. A teacher? A school psychologist?

Maybe better to speak to someone unconnected to the school, if DS is concerned it will make things worse?

wanttobehappy

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:39 am

Can u change his school? People that try hurt themselves talk about it. Take this very very seriously. U don’t want to live with maybe I should of…..

amother

Silver

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:06 am

Im so sorry op.
I rrally feel for you.

Im saying a kapitel of tehillim right now for your son.

Hugs

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 4:09 am

Thank you for the prayers.
I am in contact with his therapist and will be trying to get him in a with a psychiatrist. The wait list will be horrible, I know.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 6:21 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for the prayers.
I am in contact with his therapist and will be trying to get him in a with a psychiatrist. The wait list will be horrible, I know.

When we needed to get DC into a good psychiatrist fast, I took her to her pediatrician, and he made the call and got her in within a few days.

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 7:43 pm

If there is something situational causing him to be depressed, it’s better not to medicate. Medication is not a simple fix. If the issue is the school situation, change schools. Take him out of school until a better situation can be arranged. Let him know that you care enough to help him, and that he is not broken for reacting negatively to a bad situation. Sounds like he is having a very human response. Depression is not necessarily an illness. Your post doesn’t seem like there is illness involved on your son’s part. It is horrible to see your child hurting, and I wish you both the best.

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 8:15 pm

Thank you for the responses!
BH, I was able to speak with his therapist today and we have a game plan.
I do agree that this is reactionary but he has a lot of these episodes in his life time of being overwhelmed with his emotions. He can be intense.