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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Mar 17 2024, 11:34 pm
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My sister in law is making a purim seuda and she told another sister in law to tell me/my husband that they are hosting the purim seuda as a way of inviting our family. This is not the first time she has done/said this as an invitation.It really really rubs me the wrong way. Why can't she text me directly to invite me? She has my number. I honestly don't even want to go, but DH does and we don't have anywhere else to go. I usually feel unwelcome anyway... The only possible explanation I can think of is that she's annoyed that we never host. I'm not up to hosting and can't handle the drunk men/boys in my own house so I've never volunteered...
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Goody2shoes
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Sun, Mar 17 2024, 11:40 pm
Why don't you have it out with her?
"Hey, I got your message about the purm seuda. Thanks so much for hosting! It's such a big help for me, I couldn't handle the noise/drunk men in my house, I think it's amazing that you can!
Let me know if I can send anything over."
Isn't communication simple?
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amother
Mistyrose
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Mon, Mar 18 2024, 2:22 am
Or better still, get someone else to say that to her, like she did 
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amother
Lightgreen
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Mon, Mar 18 2024, 2:38 am
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Do you host other times during the year? I totally get not being able to host purim for a very noisy, drunk crowd. My husband is not a party guy and he does not like any drinking so I don’t think everyone would wanna come to my house anyway. No family where I live so it’s never been an issue but maybe if you invited or hosted for other times she would feel better. I’m not saying that she is OK. It’s totally not. I’m just sick from her point of you. maybe she feels that she’s always wanna toast and there’s never any reciprocation might not be the case. It might just have been the way that I understood it.
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lamplighter
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Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:14 pm
Is she hosting the seuda for the whole family?
Or is she hosting and some of the family is coming?
Does she host everything?
I would not go to something that I got invited to second hand especially if it's possible the host is resentful. I would go if it's something she is having everyone as usual and the invite is not personal, it's more of a way to disseminate the news.
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