DD driving friend to store

Cmon be nice

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:25 pm

So DD just got her license and her friend wants her to drive her to a store aprrox 15 minutes away. She says itll be a one time thing. Thing is, Im not interested in her being a car service driver for her friend. I understand its a busy time of year and that girls parents are busy, and I may not need her help the whole time, but I would prefer her not going. Maybe Im just being cheap with the gas and the wear and tear on the car? What are your thoughts

Writergirl

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:35 pm

Look at your username - you know the answer. C'mon be nice. Obviously, if this became out of control it would be a different question. But it's beautiful to encourage your daughter to do chesed with her license - if it's osmething you and she can swing.

Cheiny

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:37 pm

Cmon be nice wrote:

She wants to do something nice for her friend, plus she’s probably also excited about having just gotten her license… I’d definitely let her do it.

Leahh

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:43 pm

I wouldn't let.
Not for any of the reasons mentioned. I wouldn't let for safety. And I have a teenage daughter that is about to take her road test so I am "in the parsha".
I don't allow her to go in the car with any of her friends driving and I won't allow her to drive with friends in the car.
Especially if she just got her license it's not safe. Girls tend to try to show off and act silly with friends and driving is no joke or time for that. Once she has been on the road a little more and has gained some maturity aside from the thrill of driving I would reconsider. But at the beginning its a hard no for me

jkl

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:50 pm

Leahh wrote:

I agree with this. I don't let any of my kids drive with friends until they have mileage under their belt. Friends in the car is a distraction. New drivers, especially teenage drivers, need their full undivided attention without any possible distractions. Once they have experience, I ease up on them.

Cheiny

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:58 pm

Leahh wrote:

How do you expect her to get more experience, and “be on the road more,” if you don’t let her “be on the road more?”

CPenzias

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 2:00 pm

Cheiny wrote:

How do you expect her to get more experience, and “be on the road more,” if you don’t let her “be on the road more?”

I would let them "be on the road more" but not at the risk of someone elses safety

jkl

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 2:04 pm

Cheiny wrote:

How do you expect her to get more experience, and “be on the road more,” if you don’t let her “be on the road more?”

I do let her be on the road more - but driving alone and not with any friends in the car.

The Happy Wife

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 2:25 pm

If your child is not mature enough to drive with a friend in the car, then they shouldn't be driving without supervision. It's such a huge responsibility. Lives are at stake.

peace2

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 4:18 pm

Some states have laws about driving people outside of your immediate family for a certain amount of time after getting your license. Let her get more comfortable on the road first before driving friends especially because teenagers tend to be more chilled when driving friends- music, talking… it’s easier to get distracted
If it’s a one time thing I would let but if she’s constantly asking to do it you would probably benefit from an honest conversation about expectations for car usage

zaq

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 4:52 pm

Absolutely not. And her friend's mom should oppose the idea as well. A newly minted driver doesn't know how to drive; she's just now ready to learn how to drive. She should not be driving anyone who is not already a mature driver.

Leahh

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 4:54 pm

Cheiny wrote:

How do you expect her to get more experience, and “be on the road more,” if you don’t let her “be on the road more?”

I didn't say not to let her be on the road more. Just not with friends. With a responsible adult. Or even by herself is safer than with friends.

Cheiny

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 5:32 pm

Leahh wrote:

I didn't say not to let her be on the road more. Just not with friends. With a responsible adult. Or even by herself is safer than with friends.

How is a responsible adult going to help her behind the wheel?
I don’t agree that alone is safer than with a friend. When alone, she can be distracted by the radio, use the phone, etc.

mommish613

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:26 pm

I’m actually surprised by most of the comments. I only allowed my kids to get their licenses when I drove with them enough to feel comfortable with them driving. Alone or with others in the car. This was in addition to their many professional lessons. As long as they are complying with the rules in your state for preliminary licensees…

I would be more concerned with the friend taking advantage. I would allow it once, but not more than that.

Leahh

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:07 pm

Cheiny wrote:

How is a responsible adult going to help her behind the wheel?
I don’t agree that alone is safer than with a friend. When alone, she can be distracted by the radio, use the phone, etc.

A responsible adult won't distract the new driver.
A responsible adult will be there for support and guidance to the new driver.
Yes, a new driver can get distracted by the phone but an irresponsible teen in the car can easily distract the driver. The driver can also feel the need to "show off" to their friends.
Do you have teen children?

ProudJew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:18 pm

Leahh wrote:

I second this. Especially at night. And a max on the amount of girls she can drive. The more people the more distracted they get.