Did you survive First Days?

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Apr 24 2024, 11:03 pm

We were the only married couple and got all the attention bh.ninstead of walking to the empty house we were supposed to stay at after seder we slept on floor in a bedroom. Was cozy super chilled, fun, good food, and great vibes bh

amother

Seashell

Wed, Apr 24 2024, 11:08 pm

I was urged to invite very difficult family members for the seder and was so bummed about having to work so hard to make a seder only to have all these people ruin it with their drama but guess what?? We had the best time! I'm still in shock, it was totally fun and wouldn't have been the same laughter without them. I'm so glad I bit the bullet and invited them. Just wanted to put this out there in case anyone's hesitating with their invitations like I was!

613mitzvahgirl

Wed, Apr 24 2024, 11:13 pm

Bh we had a nice first days except I couldn’t stop bawling about the hostages and soldiers during the sedarim. They are constantly in my mind,and then my husband whose health is Oy Oy lately again, and then missing my brother like crazy… you know life…

amother

Maple

Wed, Apr 24 2024, 11:33 pm

I went to my mil. She still has little kid at home. I get so triggered by how she raises her kids. But overall it was very nice

amother

Ruby

Wed, Apr 24 2024, 11:48 pm

Just barely survived. I told DH it was תשפ״ד - Shnas Fadicha.

None of the guests showed (in their defense, they had not committed). I love my family but look forward to having guests, and my kids behave better with others at the table.

One of my kids refused to come to the seder, didn't like where they were sitting. We offered to rearrange things but to no avail. My teen prevailed upon them to make a seder at 1:00 am when the rest of us were finished. I stayed up until a crazy hour to give moral support.

DH set the thermostat too high and the room was uncomfortably hot. I set the stove too low and things took forever to cook.

I think most of my kids took turns tantrumming, including the teens.

amother

Garnet

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:30 am

Neither good/bad but so much better than expected!

I was at in laws and usually get triggered when my mil tries to lecture me about my parenting and her food is terrible, but this time thanks to this mil/dil threads on here I had compassion and empathy and definitely tried seeing her side and disengaging when I couldn't.
It was beautiful bh. I hope she felt the difference too.

giftedmom

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:33 am

Amazing! Home with just us and couldn’t ask for anything better.

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 1:12 am

amother Snowflake wrote:

Big fight with my dh just before the Chag. We spent the first sedder shearing looks, then a nice kidush on Tuesday and we decided to spend the seccond night just our small family. We prepare everything to have a confortable sedder for adults and kids. However my toddler was very tired and hungry at the beginning of the seder so I struggled with him for about one hour (very loud screaming and he wanted to be bottom naked at the table 😅). My dh waited for me to continue the maggid, and we ended doing the shortest Shulchan Orech ever and eating the aficoman in a hurry just before chatzot. The Hallel was eternal. Dh was falling asleep and getting very hard to concentrate during it.

My little personal conclusion is that we have just a few Pesachim during our life, next year I will do it simpler and try to bring more joy to our family. I will also try to bring simcha to our home during the rest of Pesach. We still have Chol HaMoed, shabbat pesach and two extra YT.

I came to the conclusion that it is best to serve only one course (and maybe dessert) at the seder night. Eating Matza, Maror, (egg) is enough of a first course, no need for soup or fish, just a simple meat dish with a carb and maybe a salad is enough. Everything else is unnecessary work.

And feed children (and hungry adults) before seder

I had two lovely seder nights.

amother

Maize

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 1:35 am

BH I stayed home this year instead of traveling across the country to my ILs.

It was sooooooo good not to pack, fly, unpack, deal with jetlag.
It was sooooooo good to be able to give my hungry little kids food before official mealtimes and treats in the afternoon without judgment.
It was sooooooo good to sleep in my bed with my kids in separate rooms.
It was sooooooo good to see my children get loving attention from my parents as they were the only little grandkids here, as opposed to not being noticed over there because there are tons of little kids around.

Sure, there was hard work preparing, cooking, cleaning, but so, so worth it! I thank Hashem over and over for being able to stay home this year.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 6:23 am

B"H all went fine. We had a small cozy seder at home, just us, the kids and one guest. We're in Israel, so no second night/day. Dh did almost all the cooking, and it was perfectly tasty, bless him. The kids were doing great within their adhd limits until they fell asleep. We went on until after 1 a.m. without them.

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:13 am

I'm trying to be positive, but it was not good.
DH was tired, out of it, passively sat instead of leading the seder.
Older singles are a year older, still single, getting angrier and less frum as the years go on.
The 2 older singles got in a fight at the day meal which led to one of them leaving and going to our good friend's house for the afternoon- I am so embarrassed, don't know how I'll face them.
BH we do have one married and the grandchildren are amazing sources of joy.
But a tremendous amount of work when no one lifts a finger- literally glasses they used yesterday to entertain DIL's sister were still sitting out this morning with juice still in them.
And I can't say a word bcz. I am terrified they won't come to us and then we'll be left with the angry, bitter barely frum contigent.
I honestly don't know how my life turned out this way.

amother

Oatmeal

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:21 am

I’m out of town staying at a small hotel but not a program. We wanted to get away but not pay for a program. The oven broke, there isn’t a huge selection at the markets here, and the room is cramped. It was pretty junky but it could be worse.

amother

Butterscotch

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:24 am

We had a beautiful Seder, so much better than last year. But YT day it really hit me that we’re alone and haven’t yet been blessed with children. It put me in such a funk. Chol HaMoed just makes me sad… everyone is out doing family activities and it hurts to not be a part of it.

Highstrung

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:36 am

Much better than I expected . Thought I’d be an emotional mess since my father recently passed away , but I wasn’t B”H and did better than I’ve been doing in weeks. My mother was our guest and she was really enjoying herself , even though there was a lot of teenage and young adult drama. But they actually had us laughing so hard at times , that it was a great stress reliever .

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:43 am

Very hard with my daughter. Lots of fights and screaming.

mha3484

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:51 am

For the most part yes but three lessons for next year 1) Hide all the toys for you catalogs before yomtov. My 5 year old made me nuts asking for toys. 2) my 7 year old can never ever ever skip meds because he was a hyper nutcase and 3) I am too old to drink arba cosos like I used to. I had a big headache for a lot of the second day.

I look forward to shabbos and the second days being on a slightly better schedule.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:58 am

I'm posting so obviously I survived.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:59 am

Dup

amother

Orange

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:24 pm

Amazing. This is the first year EVER I got to nap erev yom tov. I barely actually slept becuase once child #2 was asleep child #1 woke up soon after and I'm a VERY light sleeper. Heard them leave their room, go for a drink then look for a book....
But the downtime was amazing. The baby and 4 to took an extra extra long nap. Amazing too.

Kids behaved exceptionally well and were gracious to each other. Even the teenaging hormonal monster preteen was nice to everyone. A rare treat.
With a few hiccups mostly it's lasting this change.
I'm hoping it stays all of life lol. At least till the end of yomtov.

My kids looked so crisp in their white dresses for the seder. And felt like a million bucks in their new expensive shoes. (I usually buy white target Mary Jane's or ballet shoes like that. This year we bought them local store shoes. They felt amazing
And they were excited for their gifts (Also unusual) The girls got new hagadas for their age with interesting mashalim and stories. They've been reading it since.
and my son for his children's kittel. He felt AH-MAY-ZING. They each got their own seder plate and helped set it up together. It also avoided the passing things along and making a mess. Everything was so "m'sidder" and neat.
Grape juice pouted freely everywhere (and I mean EVERYWHERE! LOL. Tyh for napkins) and wine was good and light too.
The baby was fascinated for a long long time watching what was going on then Going to play in the living room just off the dinning room and came back to check in every now and then.
After afikomen kids got tired and went to bed.
Second day, the older ones weren't as well behaved becuase instead of napping in the afternoon they were giggling and being silly. And so they were tired at night.
2nd kid also had pinworms and the meds didnt help. So I went around knocking on doors looking for garlic or kyolic. Bh we eventually found and that helped. So we could continue the seder. But it wasn't too bad. They went to sleep earlier. My son stayed up till the end enjoying the singing.

Allover it was an amazing few days.

We went to visit family after the zman and stayed waaay to late until the kidd were starting to fall asleep. We came home past 1 and 2 of the 4 kids are still sleeping. Hence my ability to post. 😀

It hasn't always been this way. One of my kids was sick for many years and after a lot of siattah dishmaya and painful days weeks and years we are where we are.
And I so appreciate what we have!!!!

TYH!

amother

Daphne

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 1:42 pm

It was nice. We were with my in laws and everyone got along reasonably well and took turns napping and watching the little ones. I appreciate all the work my in laws did to have us.