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A little more put together
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:02 am
I've really let myself go, no one seems to care but I do think it would be better for my mental health to put a bit more effort into my looks.
I used to work before I had kids and was thin, wore makeup, dressed up each day.
It's been over 10 years, I've gained 70 lbs, I'm a SAHM and I just look so bleh all the time. My husband doesn't seem to notice or care, and I'm no longer making any effort. When I go out to something, I wear a nice shaitels, get dressed and put on lipstick. Friday night mikvah is no longer an issue because no one expects me to wear makeup on a regular basis.
I can't afford to update my wardrobe much and I don't have any nice jewelry. Because of my size I'm very limited in what I can wear that is comfortable clothes wise and shoes wise.
I've never been a fashionista at all but now I am the stereotypical frumpy housewife.
Can you help me be a bit more put together? Minimal effort and comfortable is key.
I'm short, obese, wear glasses and not particularly beautiful. I'd like to feel better about myself though.
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amother
Daisy


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:16 am
Good for you for wanting to make changes. You will feel so much better about yourself and that will spill over to the other areas. I would start with trying to get to a healthier weight first. That will have you feeling better about yourself and caring how you put yourself together more.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:17 am
Is your clothing ironed? That's a small step that can make a difference.
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amother
Steel


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:27 am
I find walking 20 min a day rly helps me.
Also put on make up change style of your wig maybe a pony wig.
Wear white ironed shirt with black pleated skirt and a cute vest. Shein has a bunch for really cheap.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:32 am
amother Daisy wrote:
Good for you for wanting to make changes. You will feel so much better about yourself and that will spill over to the other areas. I would start with trying to get to a healthier weight first. That will have you feeling better about yourself and caring how you put yourself together more.


Actually this is how I got to this place in the first place, I kept saying I need to lose weight first. I am working on my weight, I'm always working on my weight. I need to work on looking better now in this body as is.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:33 am
Invest in new when worn out and toss or giveaway

When going out of the house
New makeup lightweight makeup / lip gloss and a blush or bronzer
Keep the house clothing to at home doing chores etc
Going out clothes a few tops, a short/ long skirts to alternate colors styles that all coordinate with your shoes.

If just clean neat clothes, new shoes and freshly styled Sheitel always makes you look put together
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:33 am
amother Apricot wrote:
Is your clothing ironed? That's a small step that can make a difference.


I don't wear clothes that need to be ironed. I wear long skirts, T-shirts or sweatshirts all washable kind of clothes.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:38 am
I never wear makeup unless I'm going out somewhere.
Before I leave the house I put on a nice shaitel, lipstick always. I prefer to wear long skirts because tights are so uncomfortable but they do look shluchy.
I have issues with shoes because of my weight I developed feet issues so I need to wear sneakers with support. If I'm going to something that I need to look nice I swap out my sneakers for the actual event.
I am a SAHM who is dealing with spit up, poop, toddlers, dishes laundry. I'm not wearing a starched white shirt and a pleated skirt. Also I'm short and 70 lbs overweight a pleated skirt is a disaster.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:45 am
amother OP wrote:
I never wear makeup unless I'm going out somewhere.
Before I leave the house I put on a nice shaitel, lipstick always. I prefer to wear long skirts because tights are so uncomfortable but they do look shluchy.
I have issues with shoes because of my weight I developed feet issues so I need to wear sneakers with support. If I'm going to something that I need to look nice I swap out my sneakers for the actual event.
I am a SAHM who is dealing with spit up, poop, toddlers, dishes laundry. I'm not wearing a starched white shirt and a pleated skirt. Also I'm short and 70 lbs overweight a pleated skirt is a disaster.


Same have a baby and toddlers I have certain at-home only clothes and errands /shopping clothes I keep freshly washed clothes in the front closet to have them ready when leaving the house and shleping the baby along
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:48 am
amother OP wrote:
I never wear makeup unless I'm going out somewhere.
Before I leave the house I put on a nice shaitel, lipstick always. I prefer to wear long skirts because tights are so uncomfortable but they do look shluchy.
I have issues with shoes because of my weight I developed feet issues so I need to wear sneakers with support. If I'm going to something that I need to look nice I swap out my sneakers for the actual event.
I am a SAHM who is dealing with spit up, poop, toddlers, dishes laundry. I'm not wearing a starched white shirt and a pleated skirt. Also I'm short and 70 lbs overweight a pleated skirt is a disaster.


I also mainly stick to long skirts but I feel more put together when wearing non-black or non-straight. a t shirt with a flowy black skirt can look nicer than straight sometimes. Only if you have that fit you nicely though tbh. A badly fitting flowy skirt is more shlumpy than a straight one for sure. And in the winter I love to wear black tops with a long grey skirt, feels a lot more like an outfit than the opposite (and black is so slimming!)

You can also get cute sneakers maybe?
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amother
Milk


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:49 am
I would start with wearing makeup. I don’t know how you look, but I look like a different person with just a bit of makeup. I can wear a sweatshirt and a long skirt and look somewhat put together because I’m wearing makeup.
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amother
Snowdrop


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:49 am
I get my eyebrows waxed, take out a nicer handbag and put my wedding ring on (I'm worried about ruining it doing chores). my size makes little difference, my feet don't hurt, and it helps so much. when mikvah or upcoming scrubbing isn't an issue, I spend some time on nails
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amother
Alyssum


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 11:49 am
Long flowy skirts are really in style now. Maybe get some new ones?
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busy mommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:05 pm
The first thing is to put on eyeliner every morning. I also got a cheap pair of earrings so even though I am wearing a snood, a t-shirt, and a slinky skirt I feel more dressed up. I also started looking for skirts with designs and more solid t-shirts instead of solid black skirts and a colored t-shirt. It feels more dressy.
something like this skirt https://www.amazon.com/Yincro-.....ss_tl
with this top https://www.amazon.com/Syellow.....ss_tl
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amother
Celeste


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:08 pm
amother Steel wrote:
I find walking 20 min a day rly helps me.
Also put on make up change style of your wig maybe a pony wig.
Wear white ironed shirt with black pleated skirt and a cute vest. Shein has a bunch for really cheap.
mim in the same situation
Can you post what you mean
Will it look nice on a short overweight gal with a lot of weight on the back side
Or will it look like a circus tent
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:08 pm
Try a loose comfortable no-iron polyester blouse, matte finish no shine, worn 'out.' That is a big step up from T shirt or sweat shirt, and just as comfortable.

In a PRINT not a solid so the kiddie stains, spilled food, don't show.

Even a knit, but not a T shirt or a sweatshirt. Knits are easier to move in.

As for makeup.

Dab on some rouge every morning. You will look better. One stroke on each check, and you're done. You will look happier and less tired. Whether you are going out or not. A mirror is hardly needed.

Lipstick is hopeless with children around, yes. But not blush.

Here are some tops. Some pull on, and some open with buttons, and some are knit. All machine wash no iron.

https://www.amazon.com/Dokotoo.....ss_tl

https://www.amazon.com/Dokotoo.....ss_tl

https://www.amazon.com/Astylis.....ss_tl

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CN.....ss_tl

KNITS

https://www.amazon.com/Concert.....ss_tl

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJ.....ss_tl
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amother
Almond


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:17 pm
Get an eyeliner pencil, takes 2 seconds & makes a huge difference. & of course start using moisturizer before you get wrinkles!

Even during Covid I put on my eyeliner & earrings every single day. (Only time I didn't is when I personally had Covid or flu) can't tell you if I look put together but I feel much more like a person.

And try to take walk first thing in the morning most days. When it's too cold or rainy, put on music & dance with your kids.

If you're not up to 20 min do 10. Or even to the corner and back, building up slowly.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:24 pm
Patterned skirts are a definite no no, horribly unflattering. Maybe nicer tops but what are tops that are washable and ok to get dirty.
I don't wear eye makeup because I wear glasses (hence the lipstick). Maybe I should wear lipstick at home too. I have a pair of earrings but the baby pulls on my jewelry and earrings...ow!
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amother
NeonBlue


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:29 pm
Don’t wait until you lose weight that’s a never ending trap. I wear nice tops, wear aprons for food prep and when kids touch you during eating. Other than that any reason you get dirty? All my nice tops wash well on delicate but none have major stains.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, May 05 2024, 12:52 pm
If you wear glasses, a couple swipes of mascara make a big difference in having them stand out from behind the glasses. I also love a newer flary skirt and a long sleeve cotton top with a little extra something to it- something like the knits that are linked above. Also, with the current in between weather when there can be a chill, it can be nice to throw on a knit cardigan or flyaway when you go out instead of a sweatshirt or raincoat- it adds to what you're wearing when you go out anywhere,and is comfortable and washable. Find a length that works for you. Bonus- get a couple with pockets.
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