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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Why do some people not share workers?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:20 pm
Why are people like this? Help me understand
We recently moved & needed to do some minor renovations as well as painting. We asked around for references for a good price, and several people told us that they had used someone good but don't want to share their numbers.
They gave off an attitude that by them telling me who they used, I'd be taking something away from them.
What makes people be like this?
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:21 pm
Pathetic
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amother
Dill


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:23 pm
People are like this? Never encountered anyone who would do/say such a thing.
Also wouldn't want to work for people who don't refer me after they're happy with my service.
Really not nice!
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:25 pm
People like to gatekeep. They probably shouldn’t have said that they have good people for the job. My friend doesn’t want to give out the number for her seamstress because she’s nervous that people will tip her and she doesn’t want her to go up in price.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:28 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
People like to gatekeep. They probably shouldn’t have said that they have good people for the job. My friend doesn’t want to give out the number for her seamstress because she’s nervous that people will tip her and she doesn’t want her to go up in price.

Your friend should be more nervous that the seamstress will have to close up shop because she is not getting enough business to stay open.

I wonder if this is an outgrowth of the anxiety that seems to exist in some neighborhoods regarding "stealing" cleaning help.
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amother
Dill


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:28 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
People like to gatekeep. They probably shouldn’t have said that they have good people for the job. My friend doesn’t want to give out the number for her seamstress because she’s nervous that people will tip her and she doesn’t want her to go up in price.


Did she not realize that the seamstress is also a human being?
How about making a deal with the seamstress for discounts from referrals instead?
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:38 pm
Wow I have never met people like this.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:40 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
People like to gatekeep. They probably shouldn’t have said that they have good people for the job. My friend doesn’t want to give out the number for her seamstress because she’s nervous that people will tip her and she doesn’t want her to go up in price.


Gatekeep. Yes, this is the right word for the attitude I've encountered. I'm baffled.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:46 pm
amother OP wrote:
Gatekeep. Yes, this is the right word for the attitude I've encountered. I'm baffled.

I see it a lot in regard to clothing. “Where did you get that sweater it’s so pretty!”… “ohhh I don’t remember, some random little store.”
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amother
Mayflower


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:47 pm
See it all the time

Especially with cleaning help or home services
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amother
Sage


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:48 pm
The same type of person that when giving out a recipe will leave out one ingredient so that nobody will make it as good as she does. Yes I know someone like that... yucky middos
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:52 pm
I once asked someone for the number for the washing machine repair guy she used and she told me he only works for a select few. I’m still bothered by this.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:52 pm
amother Sage wrote:
The same type of person that when giving out a recipe will leave out one ingredient so that nobody will make it as good as she does. Yes I know someone like that... yucky middos


What???? OMG
Unbelievable
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 2:53 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
I see it a lot in regard to clothing. “Where did you get that sweater it’s so pretty!”… “ohhh I don’t remember, some random little store.”


With clothing I can maybe understand. Some people specifically shop things & at places where they won't be wearing the same things as the entire city.
But not wanting to share the number of a painter???? Why?
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amother
Mayflower


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:04 pm
People are weird
sry probably just got used to weirdos with yucky middos Can't Believe It
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amother
Amaranthus


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:14 pm
Celebrities are known to gatekeeper their beauty procedures and regiments. They want to look better than everyone else….
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amother
Black


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:16 pm
It's pathetic. It's not like a painter is someone they will be using every day so if he works for you he won't be available for them.

Sorry OP I would keep asking around hopefully you can find some helpful people.
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amother
Lightpink


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:21 pm
amother Amaranthus wrote:
Celebrities are known to gatekeeper their beauty procedures and regiments. They want to look better than everyone else….

I don't think celebrities are who we should be comparing ourselves to especially when it comes to middos LOL
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amother
Hibiscus


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:25 pm
amother Honeydew wrote:
I see it a lot in regard to clothing. “Where did you get that sweater it’s so pretty!”… “ohhh I don’t remember, some random little store.”


With clothing I understand.
Many people wear hand-me-downs and don't want to say so.
Many people spend effort and time looking for clothing that "everyone" doesn't have.
Many people actually don't remember where they bought each particular sweater.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, May 15 2024, 3:42 pm
I don't understand it, I love giving out recommendations to others and telling them about my experience.

The exception is recommending my therapist. Not talking about to people I know - it would be a conflict of interest for them to see her as well - but when people I don't know ask like on here and other places. I know it's not so logical but I rather her not get tons of other clients....
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