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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
amother
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Sat, May 18 2024, 11:37 pm
Really feel for you, catch hug
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amother
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Sat, May 18 2024, 11:39 pm
amother Powderblue wrote: | 19 months is a baby. Do the interventions now and your kid will be a different person in a few short years. As opposed to the parents in denial who first start seeking help at age 4 or 5 (or even later) when it's much harder. You are off to an incredible start already and you're giving your child the very best chance by dealing with it now. |
Yes million times yes
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amother
Steelblue
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Sun, May 19 2024, 1:20 am
I'm so sorry you are going through this, and so sad to have you join this club. My second child at 10 months was given unofficial asd dx, based on symptoms and my older child having asd( no family history on either side)
I got a ton on intervention all therapies 2-3x a week and at 17 month I can say I see a huge difference!!! if your child has sensory needs I'd reccomend doing ot privately in addition (mnri) since EI does not really target that and can make a huge difference in long term functioning.
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:30 pm
How you doing op? Checking in
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:40 pm
I am sorry but getting help doesn't change the child. My daughter has been getting ot, pt and speech and special ed since 13 months. And she has adhd which is common with hf autism. Each child on the spectrum is different. They each have a unique personality. Some also have anxiety or ocd. Some are sweethearts who get easily frustrated when overwhelmed. Don't be afraid to read up on how to work with the child at home. Talk to the therapists as much as you can about activities that help. My daughter loved the swings. They relaxed her. Still do. She also loves art. Don't assume your child will be anything. Be open to all possibilities. He or she might love affection and crave it or hate it and prefer to be left alone. My child is 12 going on 13 and it took years to understand her.
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amother
Hydrangea
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:54 pm
amother Seashell wrote: | I work as a Floortime therapist and I've seen incredible transformations. |
Floortime is the ONE therapy we didn’t try
& I tried everything else.
Like everything.
I feel so sad sometimes that I might have really changed my son’s life had I given him floortome. I’ve heard such amazing things about it now. But it’s years too late for us.
My asd son is a lovely young man, but maybe he could have been even more integrated into society
It’s hard OP - b/c while there is so much at our disposal, what do we choose for our precious children? We literally hold their future in our hands. It’s an awesome responsibility.
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amother
Ballota
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:54 pm
I highly recommend taking Friedy and Roizy guttman’s course Baby on Track. They are doing it again in JUne. My 2 sons have aSD and I see that it helped my baby tremendously. I was worried she would get the Dx as well. This is their website: www.handsonapproaches.com
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 10:24 pm
amother DarkKhaki wrote: | please elaborate. I would do anything in the world his future wife shouldn't suffer and feel as lonely and sad as a spouse with an asd husband can feel |
Did you start a new thread?
I feel the same way about my son with ASD and is a copy of my (very difficult) husband.... I can use some support...
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 10:25 pm
amother Firethorn wrote: | I am sorry but getting help doesn't change the child. My daughter has been getting ot, pt and speech and special ed since 13 months. And she has adhd which is common with hf autism. Each child on the spectrum is different. They each have a unique personality. Some also have anxiety or ocd. Some are sweethearts who get easily frustrated when overwhelmed. Don't be afraid to read up on how to work with the child at home. Talk to the therapists as much as you can about activities that help. My daughter loved the swings. They relaxed her. Still do. She also loves art. Don't assume your child will be anything. Be open to all possibilities. He or she might love affection and crave it or hate it and prefer to be left alone. My child is 12 going on 13 and it took years to understand her. |
Please guide me where to go? What helped your child most? My child is now 6
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amother
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Wed, May 22 2024, 1:25 am
amother NeonBlue wrote: | Did you start a new thread?
I feel the same way about my son with ASD and is a copy of my (very difficult) husband.... I can use some support... | I didn't yet and wouldn't mind if you do instead. The stress of living with an asd husband and child has affected my health and am busy learning how to live with my chronic condition and busy grieving my shattered life. Would still love to hear how to heal my child for when I find the strength to move forward.
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amother
Strawberry
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Wed, May 22 2024, 1:33 am
amother Powderblue wrote: | 19 months is a baby. Do the interventions now and your kid will be a different person in a few short years. As opposed to the parents in denial who first start seeking help at age 4 or 5 (or even later) when it's much harder. You are off to an incredible start already and you're giving your child the very best chance by dealing with it now. |
This. My niece wasn't even diagnosed until she was 2.5, but she had wonderful interventions (we're not in the US). We'd see pictures of her in daycare sitting on the side while all the kids sat together for a picture. She started getting and benefiting from interventions early. In kindy and pre-k, at the sports carnival, she still needed a teacher to run alongside her in order to participate. By year 1 or 2, she was already standing with her class on stage at school plays. I was tearing up when I first watched that. After a few years she skilled out of most if not all interventions. I've been to her class birthday parties where she has many many friends. There are some areas she still struggles with, I'm sure, and she'll still have ASD but early intervention works immeasurably. Grab that opportunity with both hands.
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amother
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Wed, May 22 2024, 6:21 am
amother NeonBlue wrote: | Please guide me where to go? What helped your child most? My child is now 6 |
Honestly? Putting her in a school that was designed for hf autism. My husband was in denial for year but for middle school we finally put her in the right program. Sinai in ycq. The environment is a touch modern but the teachers and therapists are amazing. Medication helps but the right therapists is crucial. We used challenge for early intervention and stepping stones for preschool. Getting the adhd diagnosis at the end of first grade was important too. But trying to understand your child is more important than the diagnosis. My husband seems to also be on the spectrum but they have different needs and personalities.
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amother
Anemone
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Wed, May 22 2024, 6:34 am
As much therapy as possible. My son was diagnosed as PDD-NOS at age 2. He got 20 hours of therapy and I worked with him the rest of the day. (This was in the early 90s when NYC gave tones of therapy)
Diagnosis was changed to Aspergers. Was mainstreamed at age 5. Diagnosis with Adhd in elementary.
Got tons of help and meds for ADHD. Was a little behind socially until later elementary.
Is bh married and an amazing husband and father.
(And yes he told his wife everything b4 they got engaged) He is very intuned to others feelings.
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, May 22 2024, 6:34 am
OP I am not familiar at all with the schooling and classes for ASD children as my son was Diagnosed about 15 years ago, and there was not then the help we needed (where we were living) as there is now. It is not easy when our children are different. The wonderful thing I can tell you is there is so much more understanding, acceptance, and classes and help you can receive today. May Hashem help you to find the courage and strength to work with these issues and get the help your son needs.
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amother
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Wed, May 22 2024, 11:54 am
Thank you everyone for all your kind and compassionate replies. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. We had another evaluation yesterday which confirmed the diagnosis and it's all been very overwhelming and I've had trouble focusing.
I really appreciate everyone's suggestions of different services to try! Especially the Jewish ones. One of my big fears has been that I won't be able to find a good place for him when he is older for Jewish education if he is still high support needs.
At our eval yesterday they said he has a "global developmental delay" as well including a cognitive delay, which was really difficult. After speaking to other parents and to our pediatrician though it sounds like the cognitive delay part is confounded by the autism and that it is too early to tell if he will have an intellectual disability. Even so, that really hit me hard yesterday and I've spent a lot of this time davening and crying. He is my only son after years of infertility and recurrent miscarriage, and I want him to have a happy, full, independent life full of joy.
I know the evaluators tried to be as severe as possible in their assessment of him too to get maximum services. I'm grateful for that. But I wish they would have been more reassuring too.
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