 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
|
amother
OP
|
 Tue, May 21 2024, 4:35 pm
VENT
My oldest is HF ASD and ADHD. His sleep has been horrible lately. He takes stuff for sleep but he's been waking up at night for hours on end. Says he can't fall back asleep. Then my husband goes away for work and last night he woke up 3 times, was obsessed with the door being open and then was up from 12:30-3. Got everyone else up and took my toddler out of his crib. Talked to psych today and figured okay we'll try new meds for sleep and strategies. Then I get a call, hi your son threw up today we have been trying to call you he can't come back for 24 hours. Of course. I don't think he's sick. I Def think it's his anxiety. Anyway...I told my husband he needs to come home. He said it was fine. But I feel like a total and complete failure. There are people who manage 6 kids with no husband around etc etc and I'm home with 3 for one night and call my husband crying. My oldest is going to kill me. My nerves are so shot. And I so desperately want things to calm down so we can finally have another baby
Sigh...
| |
|
| Back to top |
 62
 1
|
|
amother
Lawngreen
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 4:38 pm
|
Don't compare yourself to anyone. You are dealing with a lot, and you're a warrior !
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
34
|
|
amother
Canary
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 4:48 pm
|
1 kid can be equal to three other kids!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
35
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 4:49 pm
I know. But ppl don't think that. They just seem 3 and think..oh...only 3 kids
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
5
|
Bubby6
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 4:49 pm
One special kid = 6 regular kids
Fact.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
41
|
|
amother
Amaranthus
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:06 pm
|
I want to commiserate. I have 4 children very spaced apart. The oldest has ADHD and anxiety. The next 2 have ADHD and autism. The youngest is too young to tell but is already showing signs. Everyone in my community my age has 8+ kids and are always commenting on my just 4 kids. I am not managing. I go to sleep crying so often. I do not have it easy, it's hard hard hard. My husband sometimes works out of town too. I am not one of those my special kids are such a brocha kind of moms, I struggle big time.
| |
|
| Back to top |
37
3
|
|
amother
Poppy
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:09 pm
Fellow ASD mom
There are 72 hour psych holds for this.
ASAP get him on a cro list for placement if not already done
You aren’t a failure your life is hell through no fault of your own
My son is locked in from the outside with a commode and a window in the door
| |
|
| Back to top |
12
1
|
Cheiny
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:12 pm
| amother OP wrote: | VENT
My oldest is HF ASD and ADHD. His sleep has been horrible lately. He takes stuff for sleep but he's been waking up at night for hours on end. Says he can't fall back asleep. Then my husband goes away for work and last night he woke up 3 times, was obsessed with the door being open and then was up from 12:30-3. Got everyone else up and took my toddler out of his crib. Talked to psych today and figured okay we'll try new meds for sleep and strategies. Then I get a call, hi your son threw up today we have been trying to call you he can't come back for 24 hours. Of course. I don't think he's sick. I Def think it's his anxiety. Anyway...I told my husband he needs to come home. He said it was fine. But I feel like a total and complete failure. There are people who manage 6 kids with no husband around etc etc and I'm home with 3 for one night and call my husband crying. My oldest is going to kill me. My nerves are so shot. And I so desperately want things to calm down so we can finally have another baby
Sigh... |
If you’re not managing right now, understandably so, do you think your focus should be on having another child right now? I hope it gets easier…
| |
|
| Back to top |
6
6
|
|
amother
Phlox
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:20 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I know. But ppl don't think that. They just seem 3 and think..oh...only 3 kids |
Who cares what they think.
You know better and now we know too. ❤️
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
14
|
|
amother
Phlox
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:21 pm
| amother Amaranthus wrote: | | I want to commiserate. I have 4 children very spaced apart. The oldest has ADHD and anxiety. The next 2 have ADHD and autism. The youngest is too young to tell but is already showing signs. Everyone in my community my age has 8+ kids and are always commenting on my just 4 kids. I am not managing. I go to sleep crying so often. I do not have it easy, it's hard hard hard. My husband sometimes works out of town too. I am not one of those my special kids are such a brocha kind of moms, I struggle big time. |
Who the heck is commenting to you?!
Wishing you tons of koach ❤️
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Poppy
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:22 pm
| amother Amaranthus wrote: | | I want to commiserate. I have 4 children very spaced apart. The oldest has ADHD and anxiety. The next 2 have ADHD and autism. The youngest is too young to tell but is already showing signs. Everyone in my community my age has 8+ kids and are always commenting on my just 4 kids. I am not managing. I go to sleep crying so often. I do not have it easy, it's hard hard hard. My husband sometimes works out of town too. I am not one of those my special kids are such a brocha kind of moms, I struggle big time. |
I love you from a distance. My son has ruined all my life’s dreams I love him to pieces but like my friend said I need a sedative just listening “ nope not a bracha at all
| |
|
| Back to top |
5
3
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:30 pm
|
He just came home from school completely fine. Said he threw up because he didn't like the lunch I sent. 😒 He ate his whole dinner and is nicely playing a computer game. I wish he was like this all time 😔
| |
|
| Back to top |
21
2
|
|
amother
Cyan
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:37 pm
Hi OP, could have written this myself. I totally 1000% understand you and I feel like no one understands what I go through. If you’re comfortable, I’d love to be able to connect. Feel free to pm.
Last edited by amother on Tue, May 21 2024, 5:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
NeonGreen
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:44 pm
|
Please don't have kids just because everyone else has x number. That's crazy and not good for you or your kids. If people in your community expect you to have more kids then they can look after them for you. I really don't get these families where they have loads of children and they can't cope because they all have issues. Maybe plan to have fewer kids and you can all cope better. They are a blessing but it's really not about quantity.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
OP
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 5:47 pm
| amother NeonGreen wrote: | | Please don't have kids just because everyone else has x number. That's crazy and not good for you or your kids. If people in your community expect you to have more kids then they can look after them for you. I really don't get these families where they have loads of children and they can't cope because they all have issues. Maybe plan to have fewer kids and you can all cope better. They are a blessing but it's really not about quantity. |
I'm jealous. I want more kids. I don't want one child to control my life.
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
12
|
|
amother
Amaranthus
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 6:05 pm
|
I wish I could have had more kids, I just realized all my kids are ND and we were not managing so we had to stop. Lots of grieving in therapy going on.
| |
|
| Back to top |
10
2
|
|
amother
Caramel
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 6:09 pm
|
I get you. I feel the same. I got myself into therapy because I really was not coping.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
#BestBubby
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 6:11 pm
|
Hashem should send a yeshuah to OP and all the special mothers.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Gardenia
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 6:23 pm
OP for you from me.   . nobody and I mean nobody can understand what it's like to have a child (or more) with ASD or ADHD.etc. Only us. Eat well, Take a hot bath with smelling salts to relax daily. (Get a good book and wine in there also. Make sure your DH is home making sure you Do Not get disturbed). Every day you get up and say ''Modeh Ani'' you overcome this hard challenge. (I know, been there.)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
imasinger
|
Tue, May 21 2024, 6:26 pm
There have been studies showing that if a more challenging SN kid is first, there tend to be less siblings.
If there are a couple of NT or more HF kids first, the parents might feel less nervous about having more.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
