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Safety regarding molested children
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 3:34 pm
Is a young child who was molested and molested others allowed to play with neighbors/classmates without the neighbors'/classmates' parents knowing this about them? In others' homes? In his/her home?
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 3:35 pm
I don’t think it’s fair to make the parents announce it. But at the same time they need a serious plan and a psychologist guiding them. They can’t just pretend their kid is safe if they molested others.

In their own home they can sit near the child in an open room and watch them like a hawk.
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amother
Green


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 3:36 pm
amother OP wrote:
Is a young child who was molested and molested others allowed to play with neighbors/classmates without the neighbors'/classmates' parents knowing this about them? In others' homes? In his/her home?

No way has any way of knowing unless it was Gd forbid some type of serious crime. Always make sure to have safety rules in place such as parents around (both parents shouldn’t be napping on shabbos with friends over), no locked doors, and safety talks with your kids.
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amother
Green


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 3:39 pm
And if it’s your kid molesting others then you have to do your utmost to prevent it from happening again. So maybe if they are invited to another home, invite the friend to your home instead where you know there will be better supervision.
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amother
Quince


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 3:41 pm
As the one that was molested by the neighbor that had been molested by her family member I truly wish the family hadn't turned a blind eye to everything going on, wasn't just her it was also her siblings to my siblings
We all have baggage in different ways
Life long
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 4:17 pm
amother Quince wrote:
As the one that was molested by the neighbor that had been molested by her family member I truly wish the family hadn't turned a blind eye to everything going on, wasn't just her it was also her siblings to my siblings
We all have baggage in different ways
Life long


Did you and your siblings ever go for therapy after it was discovered that it's happening?
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amother
Cognac


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 4:25 pm
amother OP wrote:
Is a young child who was molested and molested others allowed to play with neighbors/classmates without the neighbors'/classmates' parents knowing this about them? In others' homes? In his/her home?

I think there are criteria for a child to be called a “molester”. Like there has to be a certain age gap.
The parent can say that their child needs to be watched very well. Or perhaps have a policy of only friends in our home. (Ppl will think you’re afraid of their bad influence)
But absolutely get a therapist professional, involved. If you tell the world this child will suffer from ppl treating them as the plague. If you don’t tell, other kids may suffer lifelong consequences.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:20 pm
amother Cognac wrote:
I think there are criteria for a child to be called a “molester”. Like there has to be a certain age gap.
The parent can say that their child needs to be watched very well. Or perhaps have a policy of only friends in our home. (Ppl will think you’re afraid of their bad influence)
But absolutely get a therapist professional, involved. If you tell the world this child will suffer from ppl treating them as the plague. If you don’t tell, other kids may suffer lifelong consequences.


If a child touches another child s-xually against their will and there's only a slight age gap they're not a molestor? So what are they, then? A baby pedophile?
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:26 pm
amother OP wrote:
If a child touches another child s-xually against their will and there's only a slight age gap they're not a molestor? So what are they, then? A baby pedophile?


Huh?

A young child who touches another same age young child inappropriately is a not a molester.

Of course your not talking about your own child.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:27 pm
amother Blueberry wrote:
Huh?

A young child who touches another same age young child inappropriately is a not a molester.

Of course your not talking about your own child.


If they are older than toddler age then yes they are.
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amothertrying




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:28 pm
No then it’s considered exploratory
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:31 pm
amothertrying wrote:
No then it’s considered exploratory


In most cases it’s one forcing it on the other which makes it molestation. And older than 5/6 it’s considered inappropriate and not normal to explore and it is molestation.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:31 pm
Oh, really now. Let's talk when it's your child who was "explored" against their will over and over again..
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shachachti




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 5:40 pm
amother OP wrote:
If a child touches another child s-xually against their will and there's only a slight age gap they're not a molestor? So what are they, then? A baby pedophile?


A child.
Perhaps a bully?
But a child nonetheless.

I had a friend forcing me at age 5 or 6.
This girl was a bully in many ways other than this.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:20 pm
shachachti wrote:
A child.
Perhaps a bully?
But a child nonetheless.

I had a friend forcing me at age 5 or 6.
This girl was a bully in many ways other than this.


Children can be molesters. Why in the world do people think not???
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:26 pm
I would not label a young child a molester. But if they have a history of inappropriate touching with their peers then I would think the right thing to do is have professionals involved and make sure the child is watched at all times. Play dates with his parents around being very vigilant, etc. As long as the parents are careful and don’t let him have unsupervised access to kids his age, they do not need to tell others of the situation IMO
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:28 pm
amother Dodgerblue wrote:
I would not label a young child a molester. But if they have a history of inappropriate touching with their peers then I would think the right thing to do is have professionals involved and make sure the child is watched at all times. Play dates with his parents around being very vigilant, etc. As long as the parents are careful and don’t let him have unsupervised access to kids his age, they do not need to tell others of the situation IMO


Why would you not label them when it’s the official label? You can look it up. It’s what it’s called. Forced touching over toddlerhood is molestation. How does it help us to refuse to use the proper word to describe it? We can’t keep our kids safe with this level of denial.
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shachachti




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:34 pm
amother Wallflower wrote:
Children can be molesters. Why in the world do people think not???


The medical definition for a molester is a person that is 5 years older than the child he touches.

I was under the impression that the discussion here is a child that is very young and touches children of same age.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:36 pm
shachachti wrote:
The medical definition for a molester is a person that is 5 years older than the child he touches.

I was under the impression that the discussion here is a child that is very young and touches children of same age.


That’s not true

Even if you insisted on that she doesn’t say details. So how are you saying that a 10 year old who touched a 5 year old is not a molester?
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amother
Stonewash


 

Post Fri, May 24 2024, 6:37 pm
amother OP wrote:
Oh, really now. Let's talk when it's your child who was "explored" against their will over and over again..


OP I’m so sorry that’s so awful I feel for you and your child, and Hashem should send you the means to overcome this awful episode
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