Setting up a home and wedding gifts

amother

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:24 pm

How much did you get, in cash, for your wedding and what did you use it for?
Also, how much cash did you walk away with?
(My wedding was probably 50K which I didn’t pay for, and I probably got 20K in cash gifts, plus some pots and dishes…. From my registry)

I keep reading on the other thread (jealous of Kallahs) how people’s parents paid for a wedding (sometimes with inheritance or they got help with a gemach) but fall short because they didn’t set up their home.
I was always under the impression that the C&K get cash or gifts and use that to set up their home. They also can buy extras slowly as they are working if they want them. Either register for a Bosch mixer, use wedding gift money to buy yourself the gift, or you can live without it and buy it for yourself another time-like when you decide if it is worth the investment.

ETA-the 20K included grandparents generous gifts. (One set gave 5K, one set $2,500, one 1K and one $100, a wealth uncle also gave us 1K)

amother

Mustard

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

We also set up everything ourselves and paid fir it with our gift money or things from our registry. Honestly I wouldnt want my parents buying our things. It would feel weird to me. We still don't have a real bedroom set (married almost a decade).

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

I got probably about 5K in cash which we put in savings. I did receive some houseware gifts including china and a Kitchenaid.

My parents paid for basic set up for my apartment, including a lower end bedroom set, couch, and dinette set. They also paid for linen, weekday dishes, pots and pans and cutlery. I'm grateful for their help.

I slowly acquired more on my own, I actually only recently bought a food processor (I'm married four years)

amother

Eggshell

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:32 pm

I got closer to 11k in cash gifts
Then I got a lot of things from registry, like China, etc
My parents bought us things like a bosch and a braun, linen, pots and pans, dishes and silverware, and furniture etc
We paid to set up the actual home. Like all the little things, a broom and mop, a garbage can, a peeler, a crockpot…
Got married 10 years ago, I’m from oot, husband from in town for reference

amother

Peachpuff

Tue, May 28 2024, 2:38 pm

I don't think most people get anything near 20k in gifts, if course you would be able to set up a home with that!
Usually if parents aren't providing, couples are using personal savings and/or finding furniture that people are giving away.

I had a very small wedding during Covid, so our parents were able to use money they would have used toward a wedding for helping us get (2nd hand but beautiful) furniture- bedroom and dining sets, bookshelves (around 4k total). Kitchenware and linen we got with help from all local organization and the rest we filled in from gifts (a few hundred $)

amother

Camellia

Tue, May 28 2024, 3:33 pm

I think we got 15k in cash in addition to stuff from the registries. Parent bought beds and couch, got DR table free second hand. We used cash and store credit from registry returns for things we didn’t get from the registry

amother

Begonia

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:36 pm

Wow I didn’t realize I was missing out on all this 😂 we got maybe $5k in cash plus some appliances etc from our registry and I thought I struck it rich lol (not complaining I really do appreciate it!!) our parents paid for our (backyard Covid) wedding and we did all set up of our apartment ourselves. Furniture was secondhand for free/very cheap or from Ikea and the like. Spent a couple thousand altogether on all furniture. The biggest expense was beds (twin- tiny starter apartment) because we didn’t want secondhand. I didn’t know it was standard for parents to set up and buy expensive furniture until after I was married but I’m happy we were able to be self sufficient. We didn’t get any help from organizations because it was too complicated with Covid and changing the wedding date and also I had no idea what I was doing or what they were offering.
Overall I’m happy with our setup and I think we did a pretty good job on a small budget! IyH when we save enough to buy our first home we’ll invest more into furnishing it.