Cost of having Guests

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 8:56 pm

We have guests almost every shabbos and most Yom tov meals. I am a great cook and I really enjoy the cooking and hosting. Today my husband pointed out how much hosting is costing us. When we don't have guests, the meals are simpler. I make a very basic shabbos exactly what my family will eat. When we have guests especially sleep over guests, our food costs go way up.
I know that shabbos costs are not in the rosh hashana calculation but like my husband likes to say the math is not mathing.
Anyone else cut down on hosting due to finances?

amother

Green

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:02 pm

I wouldn't. Hachnasas orchim brings so much bracha to your home! I don't think your budget would be in better condition if that's where you try to cut first

amother

Ruby

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:03 pm

I didn't (and would not) cut down on hosting, I did cut down on food costs. I started serving for guests the same simple meals we have when we don't have guests.

amother

Honeysuckle

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have. I still host but not as much as I used to.

It’s mostly the workload… I used to buy lots of frozen vegetables, prepared sauces, dips, etc so I didn’t have to work as hard. I can’t bring myself to pay for those anymore so I end up working much harder and it’s just too much for me to do it every week.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:32 pm

Also the cost of paper goods is so high. If it's just us that's only a few dishes to wash, I'll use real but to have nice papergoods is also adding up.

I don't feel comfortable serving as little as I do when it's just us. I'll be the subject of one of those threads LOL

Its also the quantity of things. Sleepover guests is double the cereal, double the milk, double the yogurts, fruit, crackers and snacks to have around.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:32 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

This was the first place I cut, now I'm making almost everything from scratch.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:33 pm

Can you compromise?
Perhaps your husband just wants a simple Shabbos from time to time to enjoy his wife and kids without hosting?
This is a shayla for your Rav...

tree of life

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:37 pm

I to host
I do chicken not meat rolls
I look at what I'm buying
If it expensive yoghurt so I would serve breakfast cake and cereal
Leave out the yogurt and buy your kids in the week a Extra yogurt
Make a parev cholent and serve salami cheaper then meat in cholent
Look at what your making and see what u can cut out

amother

Celeste

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:43 pm

Buy real dishes and wash. I have my cleaning lady come for two hours sometimes to wash dishes and clean up when I have guests.

I also tend to cook a ton when I have guests.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:48 pm

I'm not so fancy. My regular guest menu:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish (g fish or salmon)
2 salads
Chicken soup
Roast chicken, potato kugel, grain, sweet kugel, roasted veggies
Dessert
Shabbos day:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish
2 salads
Grain/ pasta salad leftovers are eaten in the afternoon
Kugel
Cholent
Franks in blanks or grilled chicken
Roasted vegetable
Dessert fruit

Without guests:
Challah
Chumus
Flaked Salmon over salad
Soup
Chicken rice green beans
Cake
Shabbos lunch we seldom make a second course if we do it's just cholent.

amother

Lotus ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:48 pm

I was just thinking about this today.
Even though I shopped and cooked a lot last week for shavuos, I still thought of so much else that I need.
I made an online grocery order and received 5 very full boxes that cost over $400! And this is after I already did some shopping for yomtov last week….
I was thinking that if it would just be my family for yomtov I would not have bought as much. I treated myself to nice paper goods because I simply can’t keep up with all the dishes… I bought lots of cakes to have around for the guests plus lots of milk since some of the guests fill up their kids bottles with milk throughout the day…
I would not need so much fruit and vegetables for just my family.
I am definitely spending double if not more because we are hosting guests.
I can easily cut back when it’s just my family but I’m not comfortable cutting back when we have guests.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:49 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

Buy real dishes and wash. I have my cleaning lady come for two hours sometimes to wash dishes and clean up when I have guests.

I also tend to cook a ton when I have guests.

Plastic is cheaper than paying the cleaning lady.

amother

↑ Lotus ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:52 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

Buy real dishes and wash. I have my cleaning lady come for two hours sometimes to wash dishes and clean up when I have guests.

I also tend to cook a ton when I have guests.

I used to have my cleaning lady come to wash dishes on Yom Tov but now that she’s charging close to $20 an hour, I think it’s cheaper to buy disposables. 2 hours of cleaning help is $40. I can’t do that after every meal. Disposables are probably around $10 per meal.

amother

Charcoal

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:32 pm

I hear you OP
I have started invited guests less frequently because it makes my grocery bills go up so high. I also am having trouble cooking for our local bikur cholim, where volunteers cook for families in need for shabbos. Because its too expensive Sad

dh suggestted that I volunteer to cook the cheaper things like challah or brownies. But those are more time consuming and I dont have the time.

amother

Nectarine

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:12 am

Our finances took a hit.
I cut out the dips and salads I buy. Also making all instead of buying. I also started making less so no leftovers to go to the garbage.

Our typical Friday night meal
Gefilte fish, Chatzilim, (store bought hummus), 2 salads, chicken, potato Kugel, soup and pasta.

Shabbos lunch is gefilte, Chatzilim, hummus, 2 salads and cholent.

I make homemade cookies or cake and that’s dessert for both meals. I also bake the challah.

No one’s left my table hungry BH. But it’s simple and basic.

Elfrida ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:26 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

dh suggestted that I volunteer to cook the cheaper things like challah or brownies. But those are more time consuming and I dont have the time.

If you're willing g to keep a careful track of the finances, there's no reason why you should have use tzedakah money for that. Your donation is your time, and money that you would have used to make a cash donation is being used to purchase ingredients.

amother

Seablue

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:30 am

amother Lotus wrote:

What is she doing, spending two hours to wash dishes? Even after the Seder it takes me less than an hour. And that's multiple courses for extended family and guests, and extras like wine glasses for everyone.

amother

Olive

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:18 am

We were in a position where we did not host as much. Even one extra chicken was a lot of extra money for us. So saying to make simple isn’t always saving enough money. BH In a better position, but I still use the cheapest paper goods. I’m in Israel so I just buy the simple plates that are in gold and then put a pretty napkin next to it. The people that are coming to people that need a meal? Maybe you could take it from Meiser. When we were in that position, there was a lot that I learned that we could do with that 10%. Now in a better position and can’t do it, but at the time it really helped us to be able to continue hosting guests maybe not as often but sometimes. I think people that have money really underestimate how much shabbos costs.