Hachlatos | Imamother

Motek

Wed, Nov 24 2004, 10:32 am

The Rebbe constantly urged Chassidim to make hachlatos tovos (good resolutions), on their birthday, on special days in the calendar, etc. One guideline we have (re birthday farbrengens) is is to announce one's hachlata so that we're more likely to commit to it.

Any hachlata advice?

One piece of advice is - be specific

allowing kids to make hachlatos like: I'll be better in kibud av v'eim or I'll be nice to my brothers and sisters, is pretty much a waste of time and detracts from the seriousness of hachlatos.

A specific hachlata like: I'll respond immediately when my mother calls so she won't have to call me a second time, or I'll let my brothers and sisters borrow my crayons, is far more likely to produce results!

Any other suggestions/advice?

gryp

Wed, Nov 24 2004, 10:49 am

most people are blind to some of their own faults, at least I am. it really helps to ask a mashpia, or close friend, for a suggestion of a hachlata that you can take on. (I dont mean "you" here again, I mean any person..)

Tefila

Wed, Nov 24 2004, 1:30 pm

Sometimes though, being too specific I think can at times put them in a predicament . Depends on age I guess
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Motek

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 1:12 pm

Quote:

Sometimes though, being too specific I think can at times put them in a predicament

what do you mean? what could the problem be?

Tefila

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 3:40 pm

Maybe doing this is better then just verbally saying what one will do for that coming year.
Decide what your Hachlata- resolution will be ahead of time and make a plan. Sit down and write what you will need to do to achieve your goal. How will you deal with Yetzer Hora-temptation? What will you do if you faulter instead of giving up? Make a list of why you want to make this Hachlata-resolution to yourself. Keep this list where you can see it. Also keep track of your progress through journaling, mark important feats on a personal calendar, etc.

proudmom

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 7:05 pm

The problem with me is I make a hachlata and I can not keep to it. Even if it is the most simpliest thing. Any suggestions in what to do about that?

gryp

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 7:18 pm

make yourself a reminder that you will see everyday, so you wont forget or ask someone to remind you.
include your children, ie. if its giving extra tzedaka every day, your children will be happy to be involved and even remind you.

it helps a lot (if your hachlata is to do a certain mitzvah) to do it at the same time every day! ie, so you know every day at 10:30, you drop what youre doing and go do your hachlata. after a while it becomes a routine, and if you havent done your hachlata youll feel like somethings missing from your day.

also, like freilich said, keep a log of your accomplishments and achievements.

youngmom

Fri, Oct 28 2005, 9:35 am

someone already suggested this but maybe ask your children or even your husband to help you. it really helps when someone can nudge you about it.

RedVines

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 12:39 am

I need some advice, practical tips on how to keep up hachlatas...

I am making them so emabarrisingly easy and yet it is doomed to fail...any advice? embarrassed

examples: only sheital no tichels, davening, learning, etc.

Crayon210

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 1:22 am

Get yourself a partner! If you need to "answer" to someone daily/weekly/monthly/whatever, you might feel more motivated.

If you'd like, maybe I can volunteer. I can use the chizuk too! ;-)

TzenaRena

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 1:24 am

One of the points of a birthday gathering that the Rebbe asked that we should celebrate our birthdays with, is to make good hachlatos in PUBLIC, share them with our friends family etc.

The fact that you make it in front of others gives more impetus to keep it. Because you made a committment as it were to others.

Would it help for you to share your hachlatos with a friend? You can remind and give encouragement to each other, learn together on the phone or in person.

RedVines

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 1:36 am

sounds great crayon! Lets talk more tomorrow...I usually dont make hachlatas publicly for the very reason that I end up failing...

chanab

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 10:15 am

Don´t make them so open-ended. Ex: Only sheitel, no tichel--- for a month. Then Reasses. You won´t feel so overwhelmed.
Davening? start with a small amount and build up over time. ETC