DS tells me to "go away"..

jewmama83

Thu, Sep 04 2008, 9:19 am

My 2 year old tells me to go away and stop it when I am doing something he doesn't like aka, telling him no or even lowering his toy piano so that its not insanely loud. I know there is the concept of the terrible 2's, but is it worth telling him not to speak like that to mommy. He understands, and we could tell him not to, and sometimes my husband tells him to give mommy a kiss b/c when he tells me to go away it hurts me. Do I punish him (put him in his bed) when he tells me this. Please help. I want him to know it is not right, but I also don't want to over do it. He is 2 - how much will it really effect him in the future?

cuteson

Thu, Sep 04 2008, 9:28 am

my ds also kept on telling me to stop what I was doing cause he wanted me constantly to play with him, I very nicely explained to him that I have to do it (whatever I was doing ie. cooking cleaning etc.) once I'm done I'll come and play with you, I told him meanwhile to prepare whatever he wants me to play with him, sometimes he took out story books and other times the mega blocks. I always made my time even just for a few minutes to sit down with him in between doing my things, this way he got to know that I have to do whatever I'm doing and I give of my time for him also. ( by now he comes to me and asks me, mommy when you finish can you play with me with ........or read to me this and this book.)

jewmama83

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 7:56 pm

so basically, I pretend to cry when he tells me it, and it makes him feel terrible and almost cry as well. I feel bad, but what else can I do? he has a wonderful heart, and he stops when he sees he did something that made mommy sad. Any other suggestions? I don't like making my son feel bad!

Bambamama

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 12:00 am

jewmama83 wrote:

That's funny, I used to do the same thing. My DS also could not bear to see me "cry" and would stop any bad behavior in his tracks and come over to hug and kiss me. It's an easy way to stop bad behavior when you have a sensitive child like that, but I started to wonder whether it was just a cute game or if it's actually manipulating his emotions and taking advantage of his sensitive nature. So I took a different route, even though not as easy.

I don't think it's a great precedent to do the crying bit for other reasons. A child needs to learn that you are an authority figure, not someone who's going to break down and cry when things aren't going your way. I think it's best to tell him firmly not to talk to mommy like that. I don't think it warrants a time out or being sent to his room though.

The crying act is easy now... but eventually it will wear off anyway!

And I agree with ganizzy, the bed should not be used as a punishment. That will make bedtime all the more difficult in the future.