what are mothers supposed to do on Yom Kippur??

Sat, Sep 26 2009, 4:04 pm

thank u so so much for that article. it brought tears to my eyes. I really needed 2 read it as im thinking of how I will be able to cope with looking after 3 young kids on yom kippur with very little assistance (not even a video!) an I will be stuck in a 9th floor apartment so no trips 2 the park 4 me! I guess my avoad will be staying calm an appreciating the blessings I have received from Hashem, namely my children.

PinkFridge

Sat, Sep 26 2009, 9:42 pm

Funny, it never bothered me and I was the academic type, totally useless at the balabuste business with little experience with kids, but I never felt the conflict.

The article was great!

There's this story that shows up every year somewhere that also says it all: about a rav in the DP camps about to blow shofar, who says, normally, before blowing shofar I tell the mothers to keep their children quiet, but here, there are no children....

greenfire

Sat, Sep 26 2009, 9:53 pm

Isramom8 - Thumbs Up

kool read

now there is a time and place for being able to daven ... and soon enough when the kids get bigger you'll be able to daven more or even in shul ...

simply do what you can - god doesn't ask for more ... and kids can be taught to daven a little as well - say something with them ...

curlytop

Sat, Sep 26 2009, 10:42 pm

Wow what a great thread.
Although BH this won't be my first year at home with my kiddies, I always find it hard to keep myself in the right frame of mind..I usually just end up counting down the hours, hoping to make it through the day.
That article was a great eye-opener.

Tova

Sat, Sep 26 2009, 11:17 pm

Inspired wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

You can't hold a child while davenning shmona esrei.

Does that include wearing a baby? I never knew that. uh oh.

Inspired, I'm no expert but likely not...I think you can't HOLD SOMETHING IN YOUR HANDS while bentching/ davening.

The obvious question is what about a bentcher/siddur and the answer is that that is allowed because it helps your kavanah.

Along those veins I asked my husband if I can hold a child while bentching licht - saying the bracha and the yehi ratzon as it is me'orer my kavana while saying those tefillos.

I always forget about this and realize in retrospect that I bentched while holding a child.

pacifier

Sun, Sep 27 2009, 12:01 am

Raisin wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Good question. For me it's so tiring and painful (nauseas, migraine and I don't mean head ache but MIGRAINE, etc) it's more of a physical thing than a spiritual one, and I feel like "who needs repenting when you're already in so much pain, it's a kappara". Sad, huh? Well for many women, especially mothers, it is that way. But it's better to stay in bed than to not fast, so it's like this. I'm going to shul Sunday night and I hope I'll be able to get up for neila/shofar.

you think it is bad having migraines and having to look after a baby all day? How about having to run a shul, including giving 3 drashos, all while suffering migraines?

there is migraine and there is headache. I don't think every rabi suffers from migraines, gives 3 drashot and runs a shul by himself.... so one cannot make somebody feel guilty because they know some superhuman...
ruchel, if you suffer from migraines, ask your rabbi about taking your medication, even without water.

I personnally dread that fast, it is hard running after kids, feeding them, cleaning them, cleaning some of their mess... all the while having a headache, feeling dehydrated... it would be much easier for me to be in shul and pray, (maybe even close my eyes for a few minutes...)

losingweight

Sun, Sep 27 2009, 12:17 am

Rosh hashana and Yom Kippur it pays to have some good nosh on hand for when your davening. Also, don't forget to feed the kids real meals so they'll be less cranky. Explain to your kids about the holiness of the day and the importance of tefilla a d they'll probably give you time for davening. If you don't get a chance to daven remember that your husband is a very good representative for your whole family.

e1234

Sun, Sep 27 2009, 2:15 am

My problem is if I start davenign shacharit it is so long that by the time I get too shemone esrei my kids have no patience not to talk to me.
I wonder if I should ask a rav if I could talk in between if it will enable me to daven better in the long run.

One thing I have done in the past is go to the park and daven on the bench there while my kids play.
(but I do have a almost 7 year old girl to help watch the little ones which you can't do with just a 2 year old)

Raisin

Sun, Sep 27 2009, 5:16 am

pacifier wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

you think it is bad having migraines and having to look after a baby all day? How about having to run a shul, including giving 3 drashos, all while suffering migraines?

my dh suffers from migraines. So while yes, I am the person looking after the kids and Yom Kippur is certainly not a fun day for me, I think anyone who suffers from migraines is going through a hard time, not just women.

Isramom8

Sun, Sep 27 2009, 5:31 am

e1234 wrote:

So, don't daven a long Shacharit - go straight to the priority tefilos, like Shema - Kabalat Ol Malchut Shamayim and Shemona Esrei with Vidui. If you have the opportunity you can add more later.