toddler hurts baby

curlyhead

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:04 am

My toddler is constantly hurting my newborn. he scratchs her and hits her. He loves making her cry. The worst is when they are in the stroller together. I want to get a toddler seat so that will not happen. Is this because of jeoulosy. I try timeout but doesn't look like it is working. He doesn't cry when we do timeout (are they supposed to?) and will just do it again.

Pickle Lady

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 8:16 am

Its so common for them to do that. My toddler hurts his brother too. He throws toys at this head, sits on him, convers him with blankets or gives him just a plain smack in the face. Actually at this very moment hes trying to put my husbands underwear on his baby brother. Its a good thing the baby thinks its funny. I do have friends who get the tandem strollers(one in front of the other) because they don't want the kids fighting or the older child bothering the baby.

zuncompany

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 12:28 pm

Zu did this. We stopped the time outs though, and just ignore him. He does it to Tev and we go right to Tev, and calm him down. We found he did it for the attention. He didn't care if it was pos. or neg. attention. he just wanted attention.

Sara

Tefila

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 12:39 pm

Yes it is jealousy, interesting and ba"h my 2 yr old is phenomenal with the twins. She reads them a book, upside down and give each a kiss with no prompting when we go out or she goes to bed. If one crys she tells them don't cry I will call mommy, she will then call at the top of her lungs even if I am right there "mummy babies needs you". and then rush back to them to tell them I am coming... "don't cry!" So both my husband and my theory is 1) maybe with twins she feel less threatened 2) We tell her constantly how she has teeth so she can have treats, or she can walk and also make muumy beautiful pics the babies can't yet. And we do give her loads of attention she is abit spoiled but she also helps me, like clean and set shabbos table, and tidy her room and put wet clothes in dryer.
Who knows maybe it's a girl, or just Hashem had pity on me... May it always continue Smile

miriam

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 11:33 am

I agree with the ladies. Also make sure you give him lots of hugs. If you can read to him while you nurse the baby and let him help out wherever. Putting the diaper in the trash. Anything to make him feel important. Keep up the good work. Your hard effort is worth it because you are helping them form their sibling bond. This is the foundation for how they will be later.

Chanie

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 1:59 pm

In that case it may be jealousy. I'm dealing with the same thing, only it's not for the same reason. My toddler loves the new baby and wants to share everything with him. If he's playing with a toy he wants the baby to have a turn too... sometimes he is a bit to ruff when putting the toy down (putting? or should I say throwing the toy into the baby seat) The same with patching... he sees me tapping the baby's back to get him to burp, so he wants to do it too... just a lot harder. I try to explain him to be gentle with the baby... but in less then an hour he's doing it again... I cannot put him in timeout for it, because I think it might change his attitude toward the baby. He does mean well... it just doesn't always come out so good

zuncompany

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 3:14 pm

Chanie... Zu also. His big thing is he wants to help change diapers. So, I take his hand in mine and tell him gentle gentle and show him how to do it gently.

sara

Tefila

Wed, Dec 01 2004, 7:17 pm

Hi, I just want to write a disclaimer to my previous post.... sound like fy ! Smile

I realize now I wasn't much help telling you how fine and dandy I have it sorry about that. But I had gone thru all what you said previously with my boys... so this has come as a welcome relief. But b"h my boys outgrew it and so will yours, giving one on one attention helps build older childs esteem and knows he is still special, giving chores with the baby also helps Exclamation

hardwrknmom

Fri, Dec 24 2004, 12:29 pm

My daughter sometimes smacks my son (on the head) while im nursing him. That's really the only time I can sense a bit of jealousy. It annoys me when she will bother him like that, but I have to keep in mind that it is 100% NORMAL (as long as you show them that it isn't ok) and it will pass.