OMG...what do I do with a newborn?!?!

amother

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 8:39 am

Atali wrote:

In that case Dr. Sears is probably not for you.

Also, IY"H when your baby gets a bit bigger and you want advice about scheduling, I highly recommend that you post in the Conventional Parenting forum to avoid bashing.

You mean people in the other sections would 'bash' me because I want to put my baby on a schedule????

Atali

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 8:50 am

amother wrote:

Atali wrote:

You mean people in the other sections would 'bash' me because I want to put my baby on a schedule????

Yes. For proof, read the crying it out at nine months thread (which has since been moved to the conventional parenting section)

Atali

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:06 am

GR wrote:

All I can think is that you really must be extremely insulted by something there to have made that kind of comment.

It sounds like you're trying to recruit people. Scratching Head

No, why would I do that? Halevai everyone would be respectful enough on the main forum that it wouldn't be necessary to have one. If people would just be respectful there would be no need for either this forum or the NP forum.

It is just that I have seen enough bashing threads and feel really bad for the OP. More recently on the supplementing with formula thread where the OP asked what type of formula to use and everyone was telling her that she shouldn't do it. Obviously she wanted to supplement, or she wouldn't have asked. Why does everyone feel the need to push their agenda down everyone else's throat?

Ima'la

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:10 am

OP, from what you've written of your ideas, I think you should start with a basic schedule right from the beginning. Of course, of course, with a newborn you have to go with the flow, but based on experience, I think a schedule that allows for flexibility and exceptions is better than no schedule "b/c the baby's too young." Even a newborn can adapt to a schedule - learn when night is, etc. (even if they do wake up during the "night." You can develop a bedtime "routine" (bath, feed, song, Shema, whatever) right from the start.

Another important thing that many mother's neglect is tummy-time. I had a hard time with my first 2 with that b/c they didn't like it...so with my 3rd, I got him used to it right from the start - on his tummy in the hospital bassinet when he was awake - and it was much easier all around!

Sounds like you'll do great! Very Happy

freidasima

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:10 am

Oy vey, schedule? Good luck.
How about just holding the baby except when you want to sleep or they want to sleep. Letting the house go to heck, get in take away or eat simple and sing to the baby, play with the baby, daven with the baby and enjoy. If she/he cries change him/her, hold him/her bathe him/her and feed him/her and if that doesn't work put the kid in a baby seat put them in the car and start driving. Try not to fall asleep at the wheel. Most kids will fall asleep immediately.
Doesn't work on shabbos.
All shabbos long promise the kid you will put them in the baby seat as soon as shabbos is over and go "vroom vroom" until they get the idea. Eventually they get it. By that time, of course they are doing the driving and you are strapped into the back in your wheelchair...

Hatzlocho! And enjoy the baby, that's the most important thing!

mama-star

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 9:19 am

OP, you will definitely learn on the job! it will come naturally to you. my only advice to you is, get a lactation consultant if you have any nursing issues. people think nursing is natural and easy, but in the beginning it takes a lot of hard work and perseverance.

gryp

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 11:56 am

Atali wrote:

GR wrote:

All I can think is that you really must be extremely insulted by something there to have made that kind of comment.

It sounds like you're trying to recruit people. Scratching Head

I don't see it quite that way, Atali, but I'd rather not discuss it.

Atali

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 12:07 pm

GR wrote:

Atali wrote:

GR wrote:

All I can think is that you really must be extremely insulted by something there to have made that kind of comment.

It sounds like you're trying to recruit people. Scratching Head

I don't see it quite that way, Atali, but I'd rather not discuss it.

That's fine. No need to discuss it. I just wanted to explain myself since you misunderstood.

chavs

Tue, Dec 16 2008, 10:48 am

oK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE OP WHO HASNT GIVEN BIRTH YET, ARE YOU TRYING TO COMPLETLY FREEK HER OUT BY TELLING HER TO LOOK AT THE arguments on imamother? IT looks like you are trying to instigate an argument and not help her.

OP, you dont have to put your baby on any kind of schedule if you dont want to. if you want to put your baby on a schedule there are plenty of books that can help you, I am thinking about the baby whisperer which by Tracy Hogg, for one, there are other books out there as well, to get a general idea of what you like get some titles and google them, you can get a general idea from the websites what they are about.
There are many women who take their baby home and dont put them on a routine there are many who do. Either way you will be ok, and learn on the job. Parenting is very much a learn on the job kind of thing.
Befor I had ds I never changed a diaper and only once held a small baby, I really had no clue. A friend recommended a book which I read before giving birht but honestly it was a bit overwhelming and I remember thinking, "omg what am I gonna do?" I kind of learned on the job and the book came in handy after the baby was born, when I had a better understanding of what a baby was.
You'll be ok either way and learn. You have the plus that you have a bit of knowledge already though, which I am sure will serve you well.
I forgot to add that the capitals are b/c caps lock was on and I am cant be bothered to change it now.

zaq

Tue, Dec 16 2008, 11:47 am

GAMZu wrote:

I suggest not reading any books until you establish your own style from your instincts.

I agree. Have a basic reference for care-and-maintenance and medical stuff but don't bother with the philosophies of child rearing. they cycle back and forth every few years. Nurse on schedule or nurse on demand? Separate room or family bed? Never let them cry or let them cry it out? You'll drive yourself nuts and only feel inadequate. Do what feels right to you.

Stock up on quick, nutritious, nonperishable or frozen snacks and meals--for YOU. Buy some extra underwear and easy-care clothes for yourself, stock up on your favorite personal-care products that you won't have time to buy for a while and don't want to run out of. Cover with waterproof coverings any upholstered furnishings you don't want ruined.

Don't worry about what to "do" with a newborn. They're not into entertainment. Most of the time they want to be either eating or sleeping, in between you change their diapers about 8 times a day, once in a while you wash them, and that's about all you do. That's also about all you'll manage to do at first. If you manage to take a shower yourself, consider yourself very accomplished. If the choice is shower or sleep, the answer is sleep unless you're so rank you offend yourself.

amother

Tue, Dec 16 2008, 3:13 pm

Neshei Cares will be now having a program in Maimondies Hospital where the volunteers go around to the mothers and ask if they need help or if they have any questions regarding how to care for the baby. (Maybe they started it already)

Posting anonymous bec a realitive of mine is doing it now.

octopus

Tue, Dec 16 2008, 4:33 pm

op, I had to chuckle when I read about your opinion about 15 month olds not listening. Boy, you will be in for an education. I used to be way more critical of others b/f I had kids. And then...your child educates you! Pick and choose your battles.

On a practical level- it takes some time to adjust having a newborn. If you plan to breastfeed, it may change your schedule drastically. It all depends on how the baby nurses (some kids take forever and some take 1-2-3). Don't worry too much about baby's schedule. I think you should make sure you have enough support during the days that you don't have a schedule so it gives you time to adjust.