anyone else here NOT superwoman?

gold21

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 7:13 pm

You know those superwoman types...fancy suppers most nights, house immaculate, kids well dressed and well behaved, healthy snacks are served, kids eat properly according to the Food Pyramid, including fruit, veggies, and milk, mom is calm and put together and breastfeeding her seventeenth kid in eighteen years (she would bever give formula chas veshoelaces), she gives each kid enough attention.....and wait, she works full time too! Oh let's not forget that she is intimate with her dh fourty four times a week, cuz her kids go to sleep like clockwork at 8 pm, and sleep thru the night naturally.

Anyone out there not the Superwoman type? Other than me? I have 2 kids and am pretty stressed out. The baby fusses all the time and wants to be held a TON, and eat a TON (mind you, at one week short of 4 mnths, he weighs 19 lbs). The toddler fusses, gets bored easily (he is KAH quite bright), goes crazy from boredom, dislikes playing with any of his toys, wants his paci all the time (tho he is only allowed to have it in bed or his carseat), does not eat that great (uh isnt canned corn a vegetable?).....and as for me, I almost never wear a shaitel or any makeup. my saving grace is that I did finally lose all the baby weight, yippee. Other than being thin, I look like a blah overwhelmed mama. My house is a wreck. I have no time to do housework because the kids keep me sooo busy. Dishes are piled high, I need to do a major shopping, and making a blanced healthy supper is a major stressor.

Luckily my dh doesn't give a hoot about housework or food or makeup or the Food Pyramid and simply wants me and the boys to be happy. But tho I do have tons of inner happiness thanks to awesome husband and gorgeous kids, I outwardly exhibit more stress than happiness.

Man can't I catch a break! Can't ds2 not scream if I put him down for two minutes? Can't ds1 entertain himself for five minutes?

And most of all: Can't I have any time to spend with dh without one of the kids waking up? Seriously, why do they wake up at night so often?.....

Anyone wanna join my Pity Party?

mimivan

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 7:45 pm

I was feeling somewhat close to a superwoman (or as close as I will ever get...no dishes in the sink, interesting meals, laundry done, floor clean...but boy is my place cluttered!) before Mr Baby came...
I was hoping I would get it back together and then some by three months...but for some reason (probably my fault..something I am eating) if the little guy is not sleeping or physically connected to me via nursing or a Maya wrap, he cries...and it is now month number four and every morning I wake up to a sink of dirty dishes (I saw a roach for the first time in 6 months! Crying

) and a messy living room.

My dh deserves a gold medal for not complaining. He used to but he's learned. Wink

His mother is Moroccan! I can imagine this is a nightmare for him!

I think I have to get a mother's helper a couple of times a week. I work full time from home, the baby is home with me, I have two older ones who make a mess, and I am so exhausted that I fall asleep nursing every night and wake up to a wreck, and it puts me in a very bad mood.

Maybe just a few hours a week...I really can't afford it..but anymore..I really can't afford not to.

Funny, dh is getting more easy going about the mess and I am getting more nervous about it. It shows how a husband and wife kind of merge.. Wink

I hope we also "merge" about getting some help.

Beauty and the Beast

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:03 pm

gold21, do u really think everyone has it all together? there are maybe a few ppl that really have it down to a science.. the rest of us are trying so hard but are flailing against all hopes of ever being perfect..

I try, I try so hard.. but here I am "vegging out" like someone here put it. I have pots in the sink- but left it there for the cleaning lady tomorrow. At least I want a clean house, and do something about it= I save my money for cleaning help- its worth it to me.

My husbands family thinks I am superwoman. I don't know where they got that idea from. ( but who am I to tell them otherwise? let them think.)
My kids always look clean and put together, and I make good suppers- but I am sooooo far away from super.. rightnow I am just aiming for good. I am a good woman.

pecan

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:06 pm

After hearing you all, I feel much better about myself.
My house is clean, but I get nervous when there's toys in the dining room and anyone can see them. I like when they stay in the bedroom.
I have to work very hard on myself to stay calm in all situations and to let my kids make normal kid messes.
My kids get normal suppers every night except Thursday (pizza night) and I never leave dishes unwashed overnight or laundry unfolded.
But I have a big pile of ironing that is waiting to be ironed and makes me nervous.
I always envied relaxed people who seem like they have nothing to do.
There are maalos to both types.
I don't know how to relax. I will always be nervous about something and will always find something to do. But my house, while not perfect, is in better shape than many others.
It is important to try to achieve balance.
Of course, babies that want to be held all the time are difficult to manage. I had a really hard time after my kids were born.
The one who suffers most is me.
My kids and house are in decent condition. But I am overtired.

flowerpower

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:09 pm

Gold-an infant usually keeps you busy. I say once the baby is like 9-10 months things start falling into place. They go on a schedule, need to eat less....

I am kidding about super super woman. Each day varies. Some days the kids are calmer and the other they have springs in their body. I plan my day in the morning. I cook a simple meal-kids go for that the best and so does dh, do laundry twice a week, shop for food on ...

octopus

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:09 pm

I certainly do not have it together. Some weeks are better than others with the housework, but sometimes...I won't go into too much detail. While I would want a clean house, it is not on top priority right now. I save my money so that I can spend money on the gym and a babysitter (once a week so that me and dh can go out). Dh asked me if I wanted a cleaning lady, and I decided we can't afford it. I would rather spend that money on some new clothes for myself. oh well. Now I have to get the house in order so that the babysitter won't see what a mess my house is. Great incentive to clean. LOL

At least you're skinny. That's a lot in my book.

Mitzvahmom

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:17 pm

before I got married a second time around.. My husband asked me, so is there anything you want to tell me that you know the shadchans and references do not know.

I looked at him and said "yes."

I hate cleaning, not because I like a dirty house. But because I have sensitive skin, and gloves do not work. I have a choice I can cause my hands to break out, because when they touch soap forget it! Or I can get someone to help me and I use disposables..

He said that's fine, and we now have a dishwasher Smile

He's ok with my limits, and honesty is good. His kids get home made food, and I get a dishwasher Smile

Other things I can handle, it's just the constant cleaning. I do have also some organizational issues, but he knows and we are working on it together.

People still call me superwoman, but they do not see how messy the house get's sometimes.. I am human u know...

MiracleMama

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:39 pm

Honestly, not only am I NOT Superwoman, but I often feel like a total incompetent. Things just seem so much harder for me then for others. I am always tired. I am always running behind. I am always disorganized. Always procrastinating. Yes, I have 3 very young children. The oldest is 27 months. But I also have a husband who is happy to lend a hand with the kids in the mornings and at night and I have more paid help then most. Everyone else makes it look sooo easy.

zigi

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 8:58 pm

thanks for starting this thread! my kids had cereal for dinner again this week. dd wanted cereal, ok then another one wanted so forget about making dinner, everyone will eat cereal. they love that stuff. it makes life easy.

my house is a mess, I have laundry to fold, I have to clean the bathrooms again, as soon as I clean it, it gets dirty again. as soon as I clean anything it gets dirty again. I clean the playroom someone makes a mess again. so I say forget it, the floor is clean it can get done later.

I hate when people come to my house that its so messy, the kids are home that is why its messy, I tell them to clean up but then someone else makes a mess..... my house is clean at midnight. unless I decide to go to sleep.

I was busy today but I feel I like I got nothing I spent time on imamother and finished reading a book while nursing. but I got nothing done in the house.

dainty diva

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 10:02 pm

when people ask me if im managing, I say my home is not a business and im not a manager! im a mother!!!!in my home, supermom means:
1)kids are fed(that can include omelet, bread n butter ,whateva)
2)kids asleep(whenwver that happens, I tatally disregard those fancy "bedtime charts" from school that are suppossed to "help" me, and make my kids miserable)
3(the laundry is washed(and folded? what does that have to do with wearing clean clothes?)
4)the toys collected every night(for the price of 6 twerps or a zaza or a taffy or a milk munch or whatever works(hope the health nuts arent reading here)
aint I a super supermom?

Mrs. XYZ

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 10:08 pm

Quote:

On which planet?

GAMZu

Wed, Dec 10 2008, 10:10 pm

Quote:

kids asleep(whenwver that happens, I tatally disregard those fancy "bedtime charts" from school that are suppossed to "help" me, and make my kids miserable)

Can I give you a hug? I was just lamenting this today, and I can't believe there is someone in the same boat! Charts don't work for my son. They don't make him more efficient or more motivated. He acts the way he always does and just gets upset that he doesn't get a sticker. And then he gets more upset when he realizes that all the boys will get a prize and he won't. So all it does is add frustration to the evening. Sad

After 5 days of no stickers, I'm not about to endure this madness for another 9 days, and I stopped the chart. I just feel bad that he will be left out of the prize.