I really need help!!!

Twizzlers

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 11:27 am

my 8 month old is still waking up in the middle of the nite and I just cannot function anymore! All he wants to do is drink a bottle and will go right back to bed, but this waking at 3 or 4am is just too much for me.

My older one pretty much sleep trained himself at about 2 months old, and when he did start waking up again, he had a bottle of water and then weaned himself off it (I didnt realize how lucky I was!). but my baby has reflux and cannot drink a bottle of plain water. every bottle must have some baby cereal in it to keep the liquid down. so the water bottle is not an option.

I let it last this long because for the first 6 months of his life, he was in alot of pain due to the reflux. so I couldnt let him cry it out; he was screaming in pain. but now bh, the reflux is better and I know its just a nasty habit of waking up to eat. I'm not opposed to crying it out, but the past 2 nites I let him cry for 45 minutes (calming him down with a pacifier every 5) and then gave in with a bottle.

anyone have any suggestions for me???????

speciwoman

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:40 pm

This is what I did around 7 or 8 months...

Make sure your baby eats enough right before bed so that he should reasonably be able to sleep throughout the night.

Then, I did cry-it-out. I did not come in every 5 minutes with a paci. I put him to bed with 6 or 7 pacis in the crib with him, and when I put him to bed, I did not return until morning. The first night he cried for over an hour. Then he finally went to sleep. I have a video monitor and watched him the whole time. After a few nights, there was no more crying and he slept all the way through.

Now that he's 16 months, he still wakes up in the middle of the night occasionally. Because it isn't every night, I am not as strict with the cry-it-out. Usually when he wakes and can't go back to sleep, it's because he's lost all of his pacis. So, I'll watch him in the monitor, and if he's been crying for more than 5 minutes or so, I'll go in, hand him his pacis from the ground, say goodnight, and walk out again. Sometimes he'll go right back down, and other times it takes a while.

Do what works for your family. If your current situation isn't working for you, try something else. B"H it sounds like you got really lucky with your first baby's sleeping habits!

Ronit

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 1:47 pm

I consider it that my son sleeps the night, because I don't wake up for him.

The truth is that he goes to sleep with a bottle & I usualy prepare him another one in his crib b4 I go to sleep - I guesss he takes it on his own in his sleep or if he gets up.

I don't see what the problem is - it bothers you if your baby eats in middle of the night? or he isn't taking the bottle on his own?

Twizzlers

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 2:17 pm

no, he doesnt hold the bottle on his own (and since it has cereal in it which is a potential choking hazard, I cant teach him to feed himself either)
his pacifier is attached to him, he cant lose it, but I lean over and help him get it in faster
he still sleeps in my room because the only other place to put him is with my toddler which I cant do until he sleeps thru the nite (2 kids up is the last thing I need)
I personally do not think it is healthy for a 3 year old to be still waking up thru the nite. a child needs a full nites uninterrupted sleep and I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets it.

I will try decreasing the amount in the bottle, maybe that will help.

as far as crying it out, you really think I should let him go more than 30 minutes?

HAPPYMOMMY

Thu, Dec 11 2008, 2:26 pm

I think that decreasing the amount in the bottle is a good idea.

As far as the crying it out. Just remember that if you are not consistent and will ultimately give in and give him the bottle, he learns that no matter how long he cries he will get the bottle in the end. It's very hard but if you are ready then you have to make up your mind not to give him the bottle even if that means he will cry for 4 hours. Once he realizes that it's no use crying he'll stop. It works, I've done it with an extremely stubborn baby (not bottles though, nursing).

SarahB

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 10:26 am

Do you think your baby is actually hungry? Or is it the way he puts himself back to sleep?
If it's a comforting thing, maybe there's another way to do it, or ways to teach the baby to calm and soothe himself. If it's real hunger, maybe there's a way to figure out the feeding schedule that it doesn't disturb your sleep so much. I'm no expert but I have heard experts (people who help people feed and put their babies to sleep as a profession) say that a baby of that age should not need to be fed in the middle of the night. I don't know because I don't follow their instructions

grin

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 10:33 am

one of my babies slept through the night at 6 weeks, another took until she was a year old. My mothering style wasn't any different for the 2. The only difference I could see was that one used up her energy during the day more than her sister.

In general, as long as the baby seemed to be hungry, and crying themselves to sleep over several days didn't work, I did continue to get up during the night. When my youngest was about 2, I started to sleep full nights again.

ss321

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 6:15 pm

crying it out for over 30 min is really long IMHO. I am also all for kids getting a full nights sleep, and 8 months is definitely not too early for that. Does he have a real night-time routine meaning are the lights out, things calm down, he is changed and his diaper is changed as well, beforeyou put him down? Make sure he burps before you feed him the last x b4 bed. I let my baby cry for like 10 min max, but even after those 10 min, I dont go in there and bring him to my bed, I just hold his hand, and go like "mommys here dont cry..." sometimesthat calms him down enough to fall asleep. maybe try something like that at 4 am a few times, till he just falls asleep on his own? if he is waking up I almost think the worst thing you can do is go in there and take him up, because that helps get him used to the idea that he should be waking up at that time.

Mama Bear

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 7:03 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

Of course I know that it's abnormal for a 3 year old to wake up. But he still wakes up. We cant let him cry it out because that wakes up the baby. We tried unsuccessfully to wean him from bottles and it didtn work. I'm waiting til he's a little older and will at least cooperate.

Personally I would not be able to let an 8 month old cry it out. They are still babies!

patriot

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 8:16 pm

mama bear, at one point I had a brother doing what your son is doing to you. my mother lined up 2 or 3 bottles near his bed before she went to sleep at night. when he woke up in middle of the night, he just took one on his own!
if the bottle-drinking doesnt bother you, this system will let you get your sleep...

now back to topic. sorry, twizzlers!

Mama Bear

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 8:24 pm

ehyhmommy wrote:

we did thta last year and it worked great for a while, until.... he started crying for bottles AFTER finishing the 3 two-ounce ones we had put into his crib!!! and he woudl get up SOPPING WET in the morning - he leaked through TWO size 7 pampers!!! it was ridiculous! So dh began keeping the bottles near his own bed and tried to wean him off the bottles but it just didnt work. the kid would cry and scream and kick and claw with bitter fat tears for his bottles and I just couldnt handle the sleep deprivation, as I am BH waking up to an infant as well. So we're deciding if we should put the bottles back into his bed or not; he'd often finish off all 3 bottlees in one shot and then cry for more. So we'll have to think about it. I'm just hoping he'll get to his senses on his own one day. Truthfully he has fluid in both ears and we're going to see an ENT in january IYh so I'm really worried the ENT will tell us we HAVE to stop the bottles and that's it. It'll be murder. I'll have to have a couple of REALLY sleepless nights... My brother is iyh getting married in january so I guess after that it might be our next project...

dainty diva

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 8:24 pm

my oldest was 4 when I had 4, I literally night walked the house! one would wake 4 a feeding, I'd go back 2 bed, pull the covers tight, twist and turn, just about doze off, and waaaaa! here goes #2, he needs a bottle refill....so, off 2 the kitchen I go, prep bottle, whateva, back 2 bed, the whole process again, and, u guessed, #3"s paci fell down, I go 2 retrieve it and so on and so forth....I used to say it's not worth 4 me 2 get into pj's, I anyway don't sleep, why bother having more laundry? twizzlers, this too shall pass,as has the pregnancy of this baby and as will all his dating meets and before u know it, 'll be hearing HIM whine about HIS whining kids!!Hatzlacha!!

Mama Bear

Sat, Dec 13 2008, 8:57 pm

actually my husband and I have a silent pact that my husband goes to Shimie, this way I get *some* sleep since I wake multiple times to Mendy B"H. He's really good about it. Getting up to give Shimie a bottle takes less than thirty seconds. The troubule is that *I* wake up from his crying, and often I am in the middle of nursign the baby so I can't go! (If I wake up and am not nursing, I go instead of waking dh, but often I sleep through his crying since I'm so tired and dh wakes up instead.) Maybe, Dainty, your dh can go to 2 kids and you go to the other 2 kids?