Would you let him light?

Classicookie

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 8:26 pm

Pineapple wrote:

Wait I have another question:

If I decide to let ds light, should I let his twin sister light aswell LOL

I wold let all the kids have some fun

GAMZu

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:07 pm

Last year both my boys lit for the 1st time. They were 3.5 and 1.5.

We held the candle with them. The year before, my oldest was 2.5, and we didn't think of it. Then when he was 3.5 and understood more, we let him, but couldn't leave his brother out of the fun! So they both lit and really enjoyed.

I wouldn't only do it with your boy and leave your girl out. Either do it with both or with neither.

bandcm... that is scary! I would have smothered the flames with the nearest thing- a towel, even just lift my shirt over the kid's head. To drag to the sink may take too long!

gryp

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:16 pm

I'm having the same dilemma with my little one, who just turned 2 today. He is very advanced and talks easily, but doesn't know the brachos. If he did, I'd definitely let him light. He shows no interest in doing the big boy stuff his older brothers do. He thinks of himself as a baby. So I don't know. I'm thinking to let him "help" his Tatty light just the first night.

Pineapple

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:23 pm

GR - Happy B-day to your son

DS is very mature K"AH I think he would "chap" what he is doing

DD on the other hand acts very babyish

greenfire

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:31 pm

most definitely girls & boys can light ...
teach them the dangers of doing this and never w/o a mommy or daddy/tatty/abba ...
and have a happy chanuka ...

NativeMom

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:45 pm

My son will be 2 1/2 in a couple months and we're lighting with him this year. My husband lit with him last year. He has his own menorah, one my DH had when he was little.

octopus

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:46 pm

I am of the opinion that if you are unsure and dh is against it, just wait until next year. Why cause a fight over something you aren't even adamant about?

greenfire

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 9:47 pm

I might wait till they're 3 if there are no older siblings to be jealous of ...

once they see older siblings light and they want to as well - is wherein the danger lies ...

Thu, Dec 18 2008, 10:19 pm

I know you probably are not thinking about this since it seems to be your first child.. But if you plan on having a big family you should think about if you plan on having a window full of 6 menorahs and realize the fire hazard that can cause. If you start the tradition it will be hard to break before there is a a problem. A close relative's house burned down because of this - now they only light one menorah for the family.

I knew we would have a small family, only two boys and they both light their own menorahs but I dont remember at what age it started. Even from the youngest of ages my DH held both the shamesh and my sons hand as he lit his (dh's) menorah. But I am a laid back mommy.

ganizzy

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 1:51 am

my 2 1/2 yr old will prob ba making her own menorah in school. shell light with one of us holding her hand. the problem is my 18 month old will go crazy wanting to do what his siblings are doing. and whats really freaking me out is having the menorah within arms reach (and legs and head...) all u need to do is turn ur head for a sec.... we have it smack in middle of the living/dining room bec thats the only available doorway. I get nervous just thinking of it though I guess we went through this the first 2 yrs of each childs life so imyh itll work this yr as well

Marion

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 1:56 am

What Bennysmom is doing is what we did last year, and will be doing again this year. He has not asked to light Shabbat candles with me (although he does come play "peekaboo" with them), so I am not too concerned. The big family chanukia is lit with oil, so we don't let him near that one, but he has a few of his own and he can light the candles.

shalhevet

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 2:31 am

JC - you don't have to light them all in the same place. They can be in different windows, by the door etc.

Those who bring home handmade menorahs from school or kindergarten - be careful, those are often the worst fire hazards.

Really I don't see any problem in a little boy lighting, as long as he's supervised/ helped. I don't know why people think this will encourage him to decide to light candles some other time - just by seeing others lighting he will get the idea. I actually think the opposite, that it's an opportunity to teach safety rules (we only light with abba etc).

(I didn't read the whole thread, so sorry if I repeated things.)

bandcm

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 8:29 am

GAMZu wrote:

The nearest thing was the sink. We light in a doorway, which happens to be right near the dining room sink.
Why not let your litle girl light Shabbos candles?

Isramom8

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 8:43 am

Our boys light from 3. If my older kids insist, then I may let my 2 year old son light. But we will all have to agree to watch him like a hawk. Eh, I probably won't let. Why not? Um, try fear of him getting a burn. As a young child, our 17 year old son once had his shirt sleeve catch fire while lighting the Chanukah candles, and that was when both parents were right there. B"H we were close to a sink, so I grabbed his arm and watered it.

Really scary story - our friends' sons woke Mommy up one Chanukah saying that the bed was on fire. Within minutes, their entire home was burning down, but B"H the whole family escaped unharmed. Early in the morning, the kids had lighted a menorah on the bed because it was a mitzvah. The oldest boy was 5 or 6.

How is this for an idea? Keep a bottle or pitcher of water next to the candles, in case of emergency.

octopus

Fri, Dec 19 2008, 8:51 am

I singed my hair on the chanukah menorah one year when I was like six or seven. It happened once during a bedikas chametz, too. Burned hair smells really bad. My mom put her foot down bedikas chametz with kids= only flashlights.