Clingy Baby, Clingy Mommy

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 5:15 pm

So am I clingy or is he clingy...but there's no denying...he's hooked on me!

This is what they warned me about when I had him in the Maya wrap the first few months. It was so easy then post-partum it was heaven. Free hands. He could nurse whenever he wanted. He wasn't crying with colic because he was nice and snuggly next to me...

But friends said...Just you wait...he's going to be twice as needy as your others. And when he gets too big to be in the Maya wrap, he's going to cry when he's not in your arms.

Yes...that is happening...so what do I do? (I had this somewhat with the others, but not so intense... this one was in the wrap almost constantly when he was newborn). It was the most convenient thing for me because I had two others to look after.

He's five months. Happy b'h smiley...I can see he loves life and loves his family which is important (I really feel that the strong physical attachment early gave him a sense of well being) but he gets bored when he is not in my arms and cries alot! My house is a wreck because I can't get things together because if I try to do something for any length of time, he will cry. I work at home and he is nestled in my lap nursing or cuddling while I type..but this only fosters his "addiction."

He will only sleep nursing in bed. I can't nurse him to sleep on my lap. I can't put him to sleep in a stroller (this is my goal..if I could do this, it would be great)

He cries from 6:30 which is when he wants to go to bed on and off until 8 (I'm holding him and bouncing him to keep him from crying) because I am flying solo at bedtime and can't put him to sleep while the others are awake.

And when I do nurse him to sleep, I fall alseep with him and it messes up my schedule since I wake at weird hours.

B'h he does sleep alot and well...esp during the day when I need to work...b'h!
But he needs to learn that there is life beyond Ima...Any ideas of "weaning" him off of me...
As far as food, he is starting some solids, but isn't too excited about them. He just wants his Ima...which is flattering, but...

p.s. could something else be bothering him besides being needy? Upset tummy? Teething? (he is "biting" me sometimes while nursing)

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:16 pm

What? No one has ever had a little Cling-On?
(not even you Trekkie Posters) LOL

Strudel

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:19 pm

edit

Last edited by Strudel on Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

gryp

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:21 pm

Oy, mimivan, I know what you must be going through. Smile

When did your other kids start crawling? If it's around this age, I'd wait it out until he can get around and is curious enough about the world to leave you alone for a bit.
When did your others get teeth?

yo'ma

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:23 pm

I can't help you, but my sister has a baby, also around 4-5 months and she always cries unless her mother is holding her or sleeping, of course. She also cries if anyone else is holding her. She never did what you did, it's just her. So, while I can't give you any advice, don't necessarily blame yourself, it could be his personality.

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:24 pm

Wow GR...nice new signature...I was just thinking that as I was eating just now...

teething came later but you never know.
dh and I were thinking of investing in a baby swing. But it might be a waste of money at this phase since he is going to start crawling iy'h...and might just delay the problem.

amother

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:26 pm

someone told me that bright babies need a lot of stimulation and could be needy. Posting anon because I don't want to be seen as "bragging" because someone told me this about my babies.

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:29 pm

yo'ma wrote:

So what is your sister do?
I wouldn't mind it, really, if I felt I could find "contrivances" around it. What about getting a baby bouncer, for instance...?

Shalshelet

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:32 pm

can you borrow a swing from a freind before making the investment? What about a jump & go? or a walker without the wheels (I've heard the wheels can b dangerous.

gryp

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:35 pm

Thanks, I like my sig too. Smile

Isn't he big for a swing? I put my swing away months ago. I took out the exersaucer and it's back in storage already, my baby just wants to crawl around. I don't think there's anything you can put a clingy baby into (swing, highchair, stroller, exersaucer), they just want to be held.

My baby's teething his second round now and is incredibly clingy. I barely got dinner on the table the past two days.

I'd give him some Tylenol and if he gets in a better mood, you know he's teething, or something's bothering him.

yo'ma

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:36 pm

mimivan wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

So what is your sister do?
I wouldn't mind it, really, if I felt I could find "contrivances" around it. What about getting a baby bouncer, for instance...?

She holds her all the time LOL

. She's hoping she'll grow out of it. This is her 7th k"h and her first to do this.

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:44 pm

But she can't hold the baby all the time can she? I do let mine cry sometimes...I put him in the playpen and tell myself..."I'm not picking him up for 10 minutes" (that's about as much crying as I can take) but he doesn't get used to it...

but maybe I should keep trying...put him down for 10 15 minutes spells...and then maybe he might just get interested in something else...I've found this...
He actually let me cook tonight because he got interested in an object..then he looked up from the object, noticed his Ima was a few far feet away and began crying again...but he was diverted for at least 10 minutes...

I guess we'll have to work on fostering independence kind of like an exercise routine...bit by bit..

yo'ma

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:52 pm

I really only know from when I stayed by her a month ago. She was able to put her down sometimes and she tried to do as much as possible. Since she can't stand hearing her cry, she figured out how to do mostly everything holding her.

gryp

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:55 pm

A few weeks ago I made cookies, one-handed. Was quite a feat.

Mimivan, I'd ease him out of it. Our clingy boys will meet one day, IYH. Smile

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:56 pm

Well...my neighbor said "oh well...just think...before you know it, iy'h he will be in yeshivah and you will be hoping to receive a phone call from him once in a while...you are going to forget and certainly not regret how much you had to hold him as a baby..."

and it is true...my older one is only 2 1/2 and I forgot, until now, how much he wanted to be held (what reminded me was when someone mentioned a baby bouncer...which I was shopping for when he was 6 months but never bought for him because...well..before you know it, this phase will be over anyway...)

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:57 pm

GR wrote:

A few weeks ago I made cookies, one-handed. Was quite a feat.

Mimivan, I'd ease him out of it. Our clingy boys will meet one day, IYH. Smile

wow...our kids are so similar...!

gryp

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 6:59 pm

There are a few people on here I've found that lead very similar/almost parallel lives to me. It's strange and nice at the same time. Smile

devorahh

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 7:07 pm

I switched from the wrap to the ergo baby - you can do pretty much everything with a baby in it and its really sterdy. Again just fostering his addiction to you but at least he feels happy and secure.

mimivan

Wed, Feb 04 2009, 7:08 pm

ergo baby? I'll google it!

JRKmommy

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 12:14 pm

My oldest was just like that. My mom tried to "blame" it on the carrier, co-sleeping, etc....but my younger kids were very different. Each baby has their own personality.

1.5 hours is a LONG time for a baby to wait to sleep if he is tired. I would try to readjust the schedule to see if there is any way that you can get him down earlier. If you put him down when he is first tired, he may fall asleep quite quickly and not need the intense time and help to settle. You will also find it easier to cope without a screaming baby in the background.

5 mos is a bit young for a baby to totally amuse themselves. Will older siblings play with the baby safely? That's what kept my youngest happy. I also used to plop baby in the exersaucer while watching an appropriate video, which would gave me 20 min to shower and make dinner.