Clingy Baby, Clingy Mommy

dee's mommy

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 6:04 pm

Mine is a year old, and also has her "clingy" moments. I still wear her on a daily basis using both the Maya Wrap and the Maya Tie (a Mei Tie from the same company). And yes, she does play by herself too, but there are times she likes to be with Mommy.) I think this is normal, emotionally. Sometimes I just want her off of me, but other times I do still enjoy it. These carriers are good up till 35 - 40 pounds, which is age 4. I'm sure we will not be wearing them for 4 years.

Yes, your child is "hooked" to you. And yes, I know you want your own space. He is still five months, which is still pretty young. soon he will be more mobile, and learn to play a bit. And yes, he will like to be with you all lot after that, and will still like the sling. Just go with the flow. I wouldn't worry about "weaning." This time is so short, and will never come again.

Oh yes, and when my baby was around 5 months, I was able to wear her on my back. (Not in a sling, but in a Mei Tie, and later a Wrap.) I found that made a big difference and made me a little more free to do my work. A soft carrier, like the Ergo is also good for that.

Good luck to you and your baby.

mimivan

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 9:16 pm

thanks for the perspective dees mommy

and I think he read this thread because yesterday he sat for a full 10minutes playing..

I think, as I looked at the clock and saw realistically how long he was able to be by himself versus crying...he DOES have some independent times...but when I am tired and run down it just seems he is crying CONSTANTLY.

also, the mood at home helps...

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 10:25 pm

For the first four years of most of my children's lives I barely put them down. They were either in my arms, on my lap, nursing or whatever. Of course at four they weren't really never put down, but they were in my arms quite a bit more than most kids.

I believe in clingy kids. The baby clings to you because you are necessary to your child's life. It is survival for the baby. At five months he hasn't the concept that you can go and come back, that there is such a thing as "time" where a period can begin and end, that really anything exists outside his view.

Let him cling. He will, I promise you, uncling at some point. He will start to uncling as he is able to move more. He will use you as a base, running back and forth to you to assure himself that he is safe and you are there for him.

These periods will become longer and longer and someday you are going to feel quite wistful for these days.

ganizzy

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 10:57 pm

my 5-6 months old were only able to be happy on their own if they were sitting up. at that age they didnt like bouncers unless they were tired. and they hated tummy time. so bh all my kids were able to sit up by 5 months and were able to sit up completely on their own by 6 months. then they were happy to play with toys for a few minutes at a time. u can sit them up with a boppy or those seat things

another thing that worked sometime, was putting them in the highchair without the tray but with some toys. that way when I was making supper they were right next to me, almost at the same height as being held. you can talk to him and hand him toys and wooden spoons... so hes part of it.

e1234

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 11:04 pm

It's not the maya wrap - I didn't use one and have the same problem.

Don't get a swing now - it's too late - he probably outgrew it -- they are meant for up to 6 months but I borrowed one and have it in the box ready to be returned and my son got too big for it and he's younger then yours. - unless your baby is very small.

mimivan

Thu, Feb 05 2009, 11:16 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

beautiful post hindarochel! Very Happy

mandksima

Fri, Feb 06 2009, 12:31 am

Mimivan, you are not alone! Gavriel just turned 7 months and is not yet crawling or sitting so he is either on his back for a few minutes before he screams or on his stomach for up to 10 min. He sits in his swing for short durations when he is not tired or hungry. He really wants to be held and/or played with. It is very difficult to cook a meal, do laundry or even find a moment to go to the bathroom.

He has had broncitis for almost 3 weeks now and really needed a lot of extra holding. One of those weeks I had the flu. I wore a mask and still held him but the house fell apart. I realize that he is used to it and requires the holding even though he is starting to feel better. This week was super tough because DH had the flu and couldn't go near him so I was on full-time duty. I really need some good sleep...

Seraph

Fri, Feb 06 2009, 3:04 am

Uriel is/was a very clingy kid. I'm flattered. For the first months of his life, I wore him in the wrap a lot, and when not, I was holding him. I was getting very frustrated at all that holding... but once he started sitting on his own, he was MUCH happier to be put down than before, and once he was crawling- he was off! And walking- OMG! Once they reach the milestones that they are able to be more independant, they often not only not ask to be picked up, they want to get down already when you're holding them (making bus rides with them on your lap a nuisance). Uriel still likes to come to cuddle, he comes to nurse, etc... Yes, he's more clingy than other kids, but- NO! its not because I held him in the wrap a lot. I held him in the wrap a lot because otherwise I would have been holding him in my ARMS! Some kids don't agree to wraps, because they want to be put down. If he wanted the wrap, you didn't spoil him, you're just taking care of his unique cuddle needs...

Happy Mom

Tue, Feb 10 2009, 7:16 pm

I had this with my youngest, now 17 months old. I didn't use any kind of baby holder, so it's not because of a wrap - I think there was something in his personality that needed me for longer periods of time than my other babies. I literally didn't put him down for eight months except when he was sleeping, he didn't want to be held by my husband or other kids (despite the fact that they're around all day long and have been from the minute he was born); if I had to go to the bathroom, I'd ask someone to hold him for a couple of minutes, but that was it. I did everything I needed to do while he napped (like cooking meals), and lowered my expectations of myself during that period of time.

It wasn't the easiest stage, but kids don't stay clingy forever, so do the best you can while they're little, and enjoy it. Yes, I really do mean enjoy it, even though it's challenging. Having a positive attitude towards this made all the difference between feeling like it was impossible and enjoying those months.

Some babies need more reassurance and the constancy of your presence than others. When it's met, they'll move on and eventually go on to be very secure kids. Now that he's 17 months, we laugh at how busy and independent he is all day long - he just doesn't stop going and I sometimes almost wonder if he remembers he has a mother!