Taking 10-month-old on vacation with us

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, May 03 2009, 2:01 am

DH and I are going to Israel at the end of May for about 10 days , including Shavuos. We had plans to take our 10-month-old with (our only child), but as we get closer, dh is giving me a hard time. He wants to leave ds home (we have where to leave him...). I would rather take him, so he suggested I get some feed-back here from moms who've gone with or without their infants and hear first-hand experiences and opinions.
Why dh wants to leave him:
- it's supposed to be a vacation and won't be with baby
- ds isn't in a playgroup now, so he may be exposed to new things on the plane, and no one wants to go to a doctor in a foreign place
- the whole shlep
- once we have more kids, it'll be harder to leave them behind
Why I want to take him:
- I'm his mother (need I say more...)
- I want him with us for shavuos
- want him with us at the kotel
- yes, I know it'll be hard, but I think with the 2 of us together (dh & I), we'll be able to pull it off
- not completely comfortable with any of our options if we leave him behind (though it is doable)
- we can probably to get a sitter in Israel so we could have some time off (but we certainly won't be able to sleep late at all..)
Any feedback would be most appreciated.

hadasa

Sun, May 03 2009, 4:49 am

I'm a firm believer in the theory that babies under at least a year and a half should not be left overnight without their mother, if at all possible.
I believe this age (especially for your baby, who isn't so little, either) is extremely important for bonding and security issues. It sounds to me quite traumatic at this age to have your parents suddenly disappear.

Ok, maybe I'm a bit extreme, but I would for sure take him along.

Inspired

Sun, May 03 2009, 5:00 am

It would never occur to me to leave a 10month old overnight except in a dire emergency.

yOungM0mmy

Sun, May 03 2009, 6:59 am

I'm with you on this one. DH and I went to Paris for 2 days in August, and left our 1.9 yr old with my parents and siblings, who are practically his second parents, but took DS2, who was 9 months, with us. I would never have dreamed of leaving him behind, even with my parents and all my brothers and sisters, and even for just 2 days.
Yes, it was a little hard in restaurants when he wouldn't sit still, and wheeling a carriage on and off the metro and up and down all the steps is not like just wandering around the two of you, but it was still a great vacation! He was young enough to sleep in his carriage, so we could do what we wanted, it was plenty romantic and we relaxed, it was definitely a much needed break.
I would never leave home a child for that long, but see about getting a babysitter for a couple of evenings so that the two of you could go to a restaurant alone and then for a walk or wander if you want.

Mama Bear

Sun, May 03 2009, 9:41 am

10 days??? I would probably die from anguish and despair, to be away frm my 10 month old for 10 days!!!!! I would NOT do it; there is no reason, no way, to go on vacation from a 10 month old baby for 10 days!!! over Yomtov? the only time I would leave a 10 month old for 10 days would be in case of a real emergency CHV! NOt for vacation! I would maybe leave him for 2 nights - not 10!!!1 Just my 2 cents.

drumjj

Sun, May 03 2009, 9:48 am

I also wouldnt leave a 10 month old baby for 10 days esp not travelling across the ocean. I just about would leave mine for one night if I was in the same country but not a flight away

ChavieK

Sun, May 03 2009, 9:49 am

I wouldn't leave such a little one. The best reason you gave is because you are his mother. Take him with you. When we took a 7 mo old, I had a baby bjorn for him for places where a stroller was too hard.If ds is bigger a back pack may work. Don't forget to bring any foods he likes, you may not get the same things there. Have a great trip.

shopaholic

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:26 am

My baby is 11 months & still nursing so it's not an option for us, buteven if she wasn't, I would never leave her. I've come to the realization that we'll have to wait until the kids grow up for a vacation alone.

Raisin

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:31 am

we also went away once for about 3 days leaving our kids, and we took our 2 year old. We still had a fantastic time. (but once you have several kids, just being with ONLY one of them is a vacation)

Tamiri

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:32 am

I would not leave a 10 month old for more than 1 night if that.

BennysMommy

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:34 am

I'm with you too....would never leave a baby at that age.

micki

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:35 am

you will miss him so much you will not enjoy yourself at all. so take him for your sake if you wont take him for his.
he is way too young to leave for such a long time.

koalamum

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:37 am

You can have a wonderful vacation even if you take your baby. I am also the type who hates to leave the kids, but a 10 month old baby'le? I would not have a vacation if I left him behind! Every time I would see a baby that age I'd miss him even more!!
You will feel proud at the Kosel, and having him with you on Shavuos. In the long run, so will your DH! Yom Tov is for family!!

ss321

Sun, May 03 2009, 12:38 pm

10 days is a long time! weve left our kids home when we went to israel before, but 10 days is a long strech, id miss mine just too much! that would be my only consideration. you listed your pros and cons pretty clearly.

I would also seriously consider the fact that under 1 yr he doesnt have MMR yet. In israel, thanks to all the people who just choose not to protect their kids from such fatal diseases (and in the process put dozens if not hundreds of others at risk), there are lots of kids who are not vaccinated...there was a measles outbreak last yera I believe...I would definitely discuss the trip with your pediatrician. you mentioned you didnt want him to get sick on the plane or anything, I would worry more about other kids in israel, depending on where you are staying!

the shlep part I do understand, but just FYI, if you are organized it is NOT htat bad.

also if you do choose to bring him, why dont you find a babysitter in Israel (do you have any family or friends who can help youwith this?) so you dont feel "tied down" every day? if you want to go on some type of tiyul that includes outdoorsy stuff that he cant participate in, you know you can go! if you want to go out for dinner, you dont need to wait till he wakes up, etc. with regard to being scared about it not being as vacationy bcz you cant sleep late with the baby etc, GET A SITTER FOR MORNINGS! so you have to wake up at 7 with him (choose an arbitrary time). but if you have a sitter who is there at 730, you can go right back to sleep till 10! Youd be surprised how far dollar bills can get you with things like that in Israel.

and btw, once you have more kids it wont necessarily be harder to leave them behind. maybe during hteir younger years. but then once they get older, it is probably the contrary - eaiser to leave a 6 yr old or a 9 yr old w/ bubby than a baby. they dont need as much attn, and are in school all day.

NativeMom

Sun, May 03 2009, 1:14 pm

I have to agree with what everyone else is saying. 10 days is too long and personally I don't think I'd enjoy the vacation because I'd miss him too much. When DS was 11 months I had to leave him with my parents for 3 days and I couldn't handle it, I can't imagine leaving him for 10 whole days!!

RachelEve14

Sun, May 03 2009, 1:17 pm

Just another "take the baby" vote!

NotInNJMommy

Sun, May 03 2009, 1:19 pm

I think it makes sense to take the baby, and find babysitters there for early AM or in the evening or whenver you want some alone time with dh. 10 days is not 1 weekend, and a inter-continental flight is not the same as a drive to a b&b or hotel.

Also, yes, do check out the health concerns (esp. with the current flu issues too!) with your pediatrician ASAP in case you need to schedule some other vacceines or something...

amother

Sun, May 03 2009, 10:40 pm

OP here. Thanks everyone for your input. Since it was dh's idea to post our dilemma here, and everyone unanimously agreed to take ds with, it looks like that's where we're headed. Thanks ladies:)
btw, I think that if you discussed it with your spouses', they would not necessarily agree with us. When we first planned this trip, there was no question that ds comes along. When dh started telling his friends that we're going, they told him to leave ds home, and about how hard it is, and how he won't enjoy it, etc... Just a thought....

ss321

Mon, May 04 2009, 7:25 am

LOL OP. this is a thread full of mothers (hopefully), not fathers. so of course, you will get input that comes from a mothers heart/mind. men and women think differently, and relate to kids differently.
We have done israel with and without kids. both are difficult! Its hard to leave your kids home (even if its for 4-5 days, I cant imagine 10) and I wont kid you, its hard to bring them too! I think in the long run though, you will be glad you did bring him. We left our baby home for YK and it was very difficult, we missed him terribly. Do I regret it? certainly not. I am glad my parents volunteered. I would NOT do it for Shavuos though. Yom Tov is for family and I want all our children with us!
I definitely think you should start working on finding babysitters NOW. have them all ready so that when you do go, it can be a really FUN vacation. You CAN sleep late some days. you CAN go on actiony tiyulim (if you are so inclined) which cant include kids, and you dont have to spend the first 1/2 of the days you do that, knocking on doors looking for babysitters. IDK where you are staying, but many hotels can probably help you find some sitters or give you places to look, if you dont have family nearby. If you are staying at a hotel, make sure they know you are coming with a baby, and you will need a crib (you dont want to deal with a fussy 10 month old when you get there and have no where to put him). Some hotels (more the bigger chains) might be able to have some basic baby essentials waiting for you (diapers perhaps) if you request (a hilton did that for us in the US, I have never tried in Israel). Request a room off the street so that it is quieter and your baby doesnt wake up at 5 from a honking horn. Kosel pics with your kids are beautiful (for us americans, for Israelis its probably not as special) and that is probably my one "regret" - we dont have a full family pic at the kosel from our last trip. We are IY"H going back soon enough though though, so hopefully well get that pic Smile

happymom

Mon, May 04 2009, 8:11 am

I think ten month old is too young to leave home and can be very traumitizing for a baby that young. I would take the baby and if possible bring someone or get someone there to help watch the baby when you need to go out late at night or when you want help bec things arent ofor babies etc

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next