using a name not "in" in your community

amother

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 12:13 pm

Would you use a name (for a relative you were close to) if it was considered "out of fashion" in your community. I'm talking about a good name, just one not used in your circles, for example Faige for a modern orthodox girl, or Nachshon for a charadi boy. If you liked the name and the only problem is it's not in style where you live, would you use it?

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 12:39 pm

I don't care.

My daughter is Mathilde Buena Toba.
Mathilde is Sefardi (Ladino), very Greek but was heavily used pre-war in all Europe and colonies, but for some reasons no one seems to have heard of it as a Jewish name out of very small circles... It does get on my nerves that people assume it is secular or as someone put it once "very [gentile]" (!!). Not more than Alexander, thanks.
Buena is Sefardi (Ladino) but rare nowadays after the Shoah (the communities were it was rather common were destroyed). Very few North African Jews (the majority here especially among the really frum) have heard of it although you do find a couple of "Buina" in their old archives...
Toba is Yiddish but as Yiddish isn't really used out of Chabad circles here, I get endless questions about "do you mean Tova?". Even by Chabad it's not necessarily a name they know.

I once tried to register my dd at a chassidish nursery, and the rebbetzin wouldn't accept any of these names as "Jewish". She kept asking for her "Hebrew" name. We ran!

Anyway, I did consider the original form (Mazaltov) for the first, and the modern Hebrew translations Tova and Yona for the two others, but we decided to keep the names as is, if only because these names are getting very rare...

For future children iyh we plan similar names, Yiddish, Ladino and also Hebrew classics (family). Probably very out of my circles, but family first!

Last edited by Ruchel on Sun, Jul 19 2009, 12:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

Mrs.K

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 2:39 pm

Growing up, there were about 80 people in my school with the same name as me. My children's names are much more unique, and I really don't care that their grandfather's name will mean that they are the only child in their class with that name. Being one of so many was annoying, to say the least.

ora_43

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 3:41 pm

Probably not.

For one, because names that aren't "in" in my community generally don't sound good to me. It's hard for me to imagine calling a daughter "Zissel" or "Freida" for example. (I think the names are pretty, it's just odd to imagine putting them in use -- like imagining calling a child "banana" or "quebec").

And also because I wouldn't want anything too out of place, for the child's sake. If everyone else is Tehila and Ateret and Bat-Tzion and Hadar, and she's Zissel Mushka, that might be tough on the kid (the name will always get comments and questions, etc, plus in our circles there are ideological reasons behind using Hebrew names).

If the person whose name it was originally were someone I was very close to, or a very good person, then I might go for it anyway and trust that the child will have pride in his/her name if it's explained correctly, but if it were someone I never met and/or didn't know a lot about, probably not.

If the name were only a little out of place (something that's Hebrew, just not "stylish," for example), then I'd try to let it grow on me, even if it weren't the name of someone particularly close.

sim

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 3:42 pm

Name your child to suit yourself -- you'll do the right thing b/c you get some type of ruach hakodesh when you name a child. However, that said, do not name your child something so weird (for your community) that it makes him/her the butt of jokes and strange looks. this can be scarring and make them resent the name you chose with love and care. For example, if no one you know is called Milka, don't name your daughter that -- she will suffer for it. In some communities it's somewhat popular, but in others she'll be called Milky the cow, moo-moo (I've heard this happen myself). Just use your common sense.

Rodent

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 5:09 pm

Gosh, we specifically use names that AREN'T in common usage, who wants to be one of many? We don't name after people but for meaning so full flexibility. Who cares what other people think? I actually think that following naming trends and only naming after people (which is fine if it's what you want to do but I don't like the pressure that you MUST) cuts out so many great names that deserve some exposure...

Rodent

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 5:21 pm

Not only is he well rounded but he is down to earth - he dwells in this world and as a result of that will receive his hidden reward in the world to come (we don't call him by his middle name in general usage). So many people comment that the names are around the wrong way, drives me bonkers, why does everyone concentrate on the Yissachar and forget about the Zevulun? Even G-d switched the order around in the Torah, if it's good enough for him, it's good enough for us! The most underused name ever...

sim

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 6:39 pm

I don't think there's anything wrong with using an underused name as long as it's not the kind of name that makes you the target of unkindness as a child. How would you like to be a "ganesha" in a crowd of "ataras" ,"ayelets", and "yaels"? How would you like to be "barkochba" in a yeshiva full of "chaims" and "yaakovs"? It's not how you'll feel. It's how your child will feel.

louche

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:02 am

Do what makes you happy and reflects who YOU are, provided it's not a name that's easily made fun of. I wouldn't use Mushka in a non-chassidish community b/c it easily becomes corrupted to Mushy, maybe Mushy-Tushy, and Masha becomes Masher or Mashed Potata...OTOH it wouldn't bother me to call my kid Ateret Tziyonah or Ziv Meir if I lived in a charedi community, even though I KNOW they'd call him Zvi.

as someone up there said, don't let strangers decide what you're going to name your baby. Just use common sense: don't name your son Michele unless you're living in Italy.

louche

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:18 am

Imaonwheels wrote:

Knowing a lot of BTs I know a lot of Benyamin Zeevs who are named after grandparents who were named after Hertzl. Really not popular among many charedi groups but Zeide deserves it.

Say WHAT???? Binyamin Zev, or Zev Wulf, or Velvel, or Binyamin velvel--all the same person, depending on whether you're looking at his bris record, municipal birth registration, passport, tombstone, son's tombstone, or something else, was a very popular and common name among fervently observant Lithuanian Jews way before Hertzl was so much as a gleam in his poppa's eye. Yeesh! and for the record, Menachem mendel was also a very popular Jewish combo way before Lubavitcher chassidus was a gleam in anyone's eye. Yeah, once upon a time even misnagdim used the name.

hadasa

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:20 am

Trends change... When my grandmother Kayla passed away over 25 years ago, it was considered a very Yiddish, old-fashioned name, and most grandchildren used it as a middle name, combined with something more common.
Now that these girls are teens and young women, their name has become cool and trendy.

There are some names I would hesitate to give, though. If they're used as humorous old-fashioned stereotypes like Yenta-Dvosha or Getzel-Shmerel.

amother

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:42 am

we did! I used the name Ariella in exclusively charedi circles. We got some questions, still do - but I wanted that name and bh love it. Funny thing is she is in a large school and there are 2 other Ariella's in her year so I guess it wasn't so "off" to begin with.

Seraph

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:46 am

Rodent wrote:

Hi Rodent. I know you. Tongue Out

I saw zevulun yissachar and said "Hey, if that isnt my friend..."