How are you mechazek yourself?

amother

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:49 pm

When you feel like you’ve had enough or when things are particularly tough for a long stretch of time – how are you mechazek yourself? Do you listed to shiurim, take a nice long nap, eat a yummy snack, get away for a day etc?

Lately I’ve been feeling like “I’ve had it” but getting away is just not an option for various reasons. I am constantly tired and overworked and frustrated. I really want to work on being a more positive person in general and to complain less (except my dh and here LOL

). I found that one of the ways that helps me “recharge” is listening to shiurim (currently listening to Reb. Heller on naaleh.com about bitachon, it’s awesome!!), but often I feel too tired even for that.

So what works for you?

levial

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 2:17 pm

It really depends. You need to figure out what your issue is. Here are my issues and what I try to do.

1.) I'm tired, physically tired. I need to go to bed earlier. I need to say no to making a meal for someone who just had a baby (or decide to go to the store and buy from the butcher...if it's someone I need to do it for.) I need to take it easy when I get home. I need to say no to cooking elaborate meals, or worrying when there are dishes in the sink- they will be there in an hour. I need to put my feet up. I need to tell small children that they are welcome to lie quietly with me in bed, but otherwise mommy is resting, taking a time out

2.) I am not physically tired but I am bored, disgruntled with something. I need to do something nice for someone else and realize what I have to consider myself blessed with. I should volunteer, visit a sick or elderly person, or offer to babysit for the person who just had her baby...so she can get out for a minute by herself. Having others appreciate me makes me feel less bored.

3.) When I am really disappointed, feeling sorry for myself, etc - I call in sick. I leave the house as if I am going to work. (or I say I have a doctors appt in the am. and come in the afternoon) I then go do the things I want to do for me. I go have a bagel at the little bagel shop. A real breakfast, with coffee and the newspaper. I go to the little errands for me that I don't get to do all the time. I might stop in a store that I haven't been in for a while. I may take that winter coat to have the button put on by the tailor so that it'll really stay put. Or get a cheap pedicure and amble around in flip flops for 2 hours. Or visit the library without small people so as to pick books for myself. I might schedule a lunch with a friend, but when I'm feeling blah I usually avoid people so I don't put them off.

4.) If I am feeling worn out, like the end of the marathon is not in sight, I read inspirational section of imamother. I can't find a shiur when I need it!

If it's the three weeks, I just mope that I can't buy anything to lift my spirits, and bemoan the fact I can't take advantage of the sales items..

avi0903

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 9:13 pm

Hi - I agree that it's important to determine what exactly is bothering you. Sometimes it takes some time and digging to really figure it out.

For me, often I just need some time alone. Just like my kids, I need time alone to "transition". When I come home from work I need about half an hour alone before I'm re-energized to deal with (and enjoy) my family's needs.

Talking to friends on the phone, doing manicures with my daughter, reading, gardening, are all things that make me feel better. If there's a specific issue that needs resolving, talking to a friend with the same exact issue always helps.

If it's a really serious issue, there are two things that always help. Talking to my Rav, and saying Tehilim and pouring my heart out to Hashem. Corny, but true.