should young couples not socialize together?

Ruchel

Thu, Aug 27 2009, 1:52 pm

It's fine to tell some people they shouldn't do it. I happen to really agree!
But to say it's not good, stam? for everyone? because some cannot handle it? that is wrong.

amother

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 12:02 am

When I was married, we got together as couples and now my ex is married to former friend. It turns out that they were seeing eachother while we were married. When I moved out of marital home, she continued to be a regular visitor to that house while still married and living with her husband. Ex and former friend anounced their engagement on the same day she got her Get. Former friend proceeded to try to take over my life in every way including undermining me as mother to my own children. she can have the ex but had no business imposing herself on my children. She and ex hurt them badly-emotionally-on top of the embarrassment in yeshiva and the community. Everyone knew we were friends and that ex was friends with the husband. I don't recommend couples mingling.

brklin

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 12:29 am

FRIEDASIMA STOP BASHING RABBANIM AND THEIR GEDARIM!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! EVERY SINGLE TIME SOMEONE POSTS SOMETHING ABOUT A GEDER OR SOMETHING OF RABBANIM YOU ALWAYS HAVETA ANSWER BY SAYING..." WAKE UP EVERYBODY ITS 100 YEARS LATER... MEN AND WOMAN ARE ALLOWED TO MINGLE ... THE TIMES OF THE RISHONIM A HUSBAND AND WIFE DIDNT HOLD HANS BUT NOW ITS DIFF.. NOW THEY DO HOLD HANDS IN THE STREET AND KISS!!" ENOUGH IS ENOUGH STOP BASHING RABBANIM AND THEIR GEDARIM, THE RABBANIM KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY SET THOSE GEDARIM!!!!!!

AND NO! KISSING YOUR HUSBAND IN THE STREET IS NOT ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Godiva

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 12:36 am

brklin wrote:

ouch my ears hurt

Inspired

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 1:43 am

I don't have much to comment on the general thread because I reallhy thin socializing depends on one's particular circumstances.
but to this I have comment

Quote:

Or you have over bochrim and the wife's job becomes server, bus-boy, and waitress. Excellent

Whatchu talkin about willis?
This should NEVER happen. Guests and dh should have at least common courtesy. In my house I would never do all the work. Unless I had a whole group of guys with brokemn legs. And even then they can stack plates and pass them.

PinkFridge

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 9:56 am

Inspired wrote:

I don't have much to comment on the general thread because I reallhy thin socializing depends on one's particular circumstances.
but to this I have comment

Quote:

Or you have over bochrim and the wife's job becomes server, bus-boy, and waitress. Excellent

Stack plates?!?!? A shonda! I may have to reconsider staying on imamother.

racheleezzy

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 11:26 am

lol not to start a whole thing but I think this is also related to the big part of the problem some rabbonim have with bungalow colonies....ok granted having meals and being together all summer are slightly different, but inherently its the same issue. You become to comfortable, to much socializing..........

amother

Sat, Jan 16 2010, 6:38 pm

Quote:

Plus, consigning people struggling with infertility to social isolation is a GREAT idea!

Huh? I think something got lost in the translation of this sentence? Don't people who are struggling with infertility have families too [their own I mean]? Parents, siblings, etc.?

The practice of couples not socializing with other couples is very common here where I live. However, people do socialize with their parents and siblings and extended families. They just don't socialize with other non-related couples. This does not impact on those without children in any way differently than those with children.

And there actually is good reason for this practice. Stuff happens and has happened in the past. Nuff said.

amother

Sat, Jan 16 2010, 6:53 pm

amother wrote:

Amother thanks for sharing your story. Sadly I know 2 other stories like this.

Inspired

Sat, Jan 16 2010, 7:01 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

Plus, consigning people struggling with infertility to social isolation is a GREAT idea!

There are lots of people th\at do not live near family for various reasons. Just saying..

amother

Sat, Jan 16 2010, 7:11 pm

I do it all the time and we are yeshivish kollel couple its been 7 yrs. and we are all friends and I dont talk much to the men we usually invite 2 couples I sit with the ladies and dh sits with the men we do have convos t/g sometimes.
though my friend (not a yeshivish girl like me) was having a little "friendship" with their her friends dh and then my friends very unsuspecting dh invited this couple for a meal and my friend told me they where laughing at her poor dh.