dealing with a 22 mn old child thats not talking???

hadasa

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 10:57 pm

I don't have much advice, but you have my sympathies. It is a frustrating time for the parents, and much, much more so for the child, when she is old enough to have clear desires yet can't communicate them. Definitely don't get mad at her; it's not her fault. Try to be patient, she'll probably start talking soon. One of my kids didn't say a word until 23 months and then out of the blue started talking full sentences in two languages.

BinahYeteirah

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 11:00 pm

Unless you have some reason to suspect that she is purposely refusing to speak, I guess I would deal with it as I would deal with any pre-verbal toddler. I would just keep talking to her, ask her questions, and try to elicit responses while meeting her needs as best I can.

One tip I have heard works well is to teach baby sign language. This can reduce frustration in parent and child by giving another avenue of communication.

My 19-month-old son is not much of a talker, either. I am pretty sure my girls we speaking in sentences by this time, but he says maybe 5 words or so. "Mommy" isn't one of them. He calls nearly everything "Tatty". I'm always telling him to say "Mommy", to call me "Mommy", but he always says "Tatty! Tatty! Tatty!" I am starting to think he does it just to mess with me. Smile

manhattanmom

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 11:25 pm

begin some sign language and some picture cards....
I know someone who had a picture of everything in her fridge taped to her kitchen wall so she didn't have to open her fridge and go through every single food item in it 10 times a day.

I definitely feel for you. My son is now 26 months and has just started speaking this month--and even with a MAJOR breakthrough right now, he still is quite far behind where he should be--like now he's very into "no" and "bye" which is where he should have been a year ago....We have some pictures, some signs, a lot of guessing....

People may tell you not to give your kid anything until they ask for it with some type of verbal vocalization but I'm not a fan of that. For a toddler who CANNOT produce the sound it only makes them more frustrated and you'll both end up crying (I have experience there too...) I found older people (as in my mother and her friends who have told me that and I always just answered--but he CANNOT make an "m" sound. So I will be here for an entire week with both of us crying and the house being disrupted because he CANNOT say "Mmmm" for "I want milk." (just an example...)

Being unable to repeat something you said at this age is a sign of apraxia. I know "apraxia" is overly diagnosed, people are quick to label, I don't want to start a whole debate here....but this is a clear sign. It just means it's a motor planning issue--if she hears you and understands you but can't produce the sound it could mean there's a lack of coordination somewhere...
My 26 month old cannot say his own name (Eli!) no matter how many times we say it for him!

What has your daughter's speech therapist recommended? If she doesn't have a speech therapist--you need to have her start ASAP. Especially if she is frustrated. She will probably become more frustrated as soon as her socialization becomes more complex--play dates, school, etc.
When you do have a speech therapist--you need one who is familiar/comfortable with the prompting method (where they put their hands on the child's face to help them form the sounds each letter makes.)

Also, have you had her hearing checked? Take her to an audiologist now! If you're in ny I can recommend one.
What has your pediatrician recommended?

You can pm me.
I'm dealing with exactly the same thing, right now.

yOungM0mmy

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 7:52 am

My 22 month old only started babbling consonant sounds (mmm, ddd, ggg, etc) at about 17 months old, and only started talking about a month and a half ago. He didnt even say Mommy or Tatty before then. I started to get nervous just before he started babbling, and was about to make him an appt, when he started doing it, so I knew he could actually physically make the sounds, and he understood everything. Now he has started speaking 3 word sentences, and had a vocabulary of at least 100 words within 2 weeks of starting to speak.
DS also was (and is) very opinionated, and knew exactly what he wanted, and would throw a tantrum every time I didnt understand. I also worried more, because DS1 has a vocabulary of about 100 words when he was a year old.
I would definitely get him checked out if he still doesn't make sounds, but not necessarily panic yet. He may need help, in which case it is better earlier, but he may just pop out with it one day soon. Meanwhile, lots of patience, talking calmly, talk ALL the time, ask questions even if he wont answer, and let him point or show you exactly what he wants. bring him right up to the closet or counter, etc.

manhattanmom

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 12:39 pm

The OP wrote that her dd is not speaking and while everyone wrote--Oh, don't worry my kid started speaking late but it came in nicely--it's definitely nice to hear that and I'm sure that one day--maybe even really soon her dd will indeed begin speaking. But judging by the fact she mentioned how frustrated everyone is, it's really important to begin intervention NOW.
Waiting it out is okay if all is peaceful but once a kid is frustrated it's cruel and will only test everyone's level of patience.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 1:46 pm

if this is so frustrating for you, imagine how your child must feel- so many thoughts and opinions, and she's unable to express them! please, do your child a favor and have her hearing checked by an audiologist, and speech evaluated by a speech therapist. if you live in the US, it will be free from the Early Intervention program and you have NOTHING to lose. yes, she probably will begin talking on her own eventually. but you will be doing her and yourself a favor by giving her the help she needs to get there sooner. the speech therapist can give specific suggestions, based on your child's abilities, for dealing with her lack of language until it begins to emerge.

manhattanmom

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 2:20 pm

2QTs wrote:

I wouldn't be so quick to label it apraxia. There are many different reasons for ppl not talking including problems processing the information. Strivright is great for this give them a call.

I would never label a child as apraxic--especially when the guidelines now hold off until age 3 before making a true diagnosis. But, she did mention her dd can't repeat sounds she hears--at 22 months. This does show a sign of a motor planning delay which is essentially what apraxia of speech is. So used loosely--yes, her daughter has some type of apraxia whether it be true apraxia (Which is very rare) or just a general delay due to an oral-motor planning issue....

OP, can your daughter perform on demand--such as if you ask her to stick her tongue out can she do it?
Can she blow bubbles? Use a straw? What about blowing rasberries with her mouth--did she ever do that as a baby?

amother

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 3:14 pm

manhattanmom, why would you even mention apraxia in the first place? I'm a speech therapist and no one would use that term with a child so young. And for your information, the main warning sign of apraxia is groping to articulate the speech sounds. Repeating is part of it but more so groping and an inability to find the sounds to use. In any case, its irrelevant with a child so young.

Anon because I dont want other people here to know what I do.

manhattanmom

Tue, Sep 01 2009, 6:13 pm

amother wrote:

Wow. I don't like to be yelled at.
I was just mentioning it because this kid sounds exactly like my son who is 26 months old. We had him evaluated at 12 months when he wasn't making any sounds at all (after having his hearing checked and ruling that out...) He was denied services. At 19 months we tried again when he still wasn't making any sounds and then we were given services.
While I KNOW it's irrelevant with a child so young we were told by at least 5 speech therapists that my son's inability to mimic sounds or any movement with his mouth is something that is a sign of apraxia--NOT a diagnosis--just something to watch. So I'm repeating what many speech therapists told me. I'm writing this as a mother and NOT a professional.

pina colada

Thu, Sep 03 2009, 1:35 am

When she cries and is all frustrated, you can point to the object and say "do you want milk? do you want juice?" etc. until she lets you know what she wants, while at the same time with all the speech input, you will be teaching her words.

FYI if dd is not eligible for an EI service, you can request a second evaluation from another agency. PM me if you want more info on how to go about it. I also can recommend the name of a top EI speech evaluator that you can ask for whether you reeval her at this point or wait for when she's two yrs. old.

Rodent

Thu, Sep 03 2009, 7:17 am

We have the same issue with our 22 month old but he has created a lot of gestures to communicate (eg. opening our hand, pretending he is picking something up from our palm and taking it to his mouth to tell us he's hungry. He first started by biting our hand but when that didn't get the desired result he developed this one). He has about 5 words total (moh=more, no, noh=nose, hi/bye, wow).

In contrast to your child however, he failed his hearing test, blocked middle ears at the time. After a course of antibiotics they were supposedly clear but we have to wait until the end of next month to retest and see if there is any permanent hearing problem or it was just the blockage (hopefully it is the latter!).

Also, he doesn't respond to everything like your child seems to, only a few things (eg. kiss, good boy (he pats himself on the head when we say it)). If you ask him where the cup is for example, he wouldn't point or acknowledge it in any way.

He started babbling for the first time at 17 months. He never did it as a baby at all. His first word was hi though it wasn't clear, no was the first clear word. He has never said Abba or Imma Sad

#1 is also speech delayed and failed the hearing test with blocked ears also but not as badly. His have cleared too and I'm more confident of him passing the next test. He did babble a lot as a baby, his speech progress has just been slow. Understanding always good.

My empathy, it's hard I know (and sad when everyone elses kids are talking up a storm Sad

manhattanmom

Thu, Sep 03 2009, 9:37 am

overworkedraizy wrote:

thanks for helping out.
yes I had her check for hearing test ,bh ok while my family made fun that I take it to fast. Had her for speech evaluation which wasn't approved. got to wait till shes two they say.
so as of now I"ll try some of your advise
makes me feel better to know I'm not alone on this

As far as waiting until she's 2--
when did you first have her evaluated? Because I'm pretty sure that in NY you have to wait for 6 month before she can have another evaluation. If you need/want one sooner your pediatrician can intervene--write a note, give a call, etc.