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-> Household Management
amother
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 Mon, Sep 07 2009, 7:50 pm
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I am an out of towner living in boro park. raising 6 small kids in an apt. I grew up in a nice big house out of town with lots of rooms, a big backyard, a large playroom in the basement. my question to all you native ny'ers and chasidish / heimish women is this: how do you do it? I can never seem to keep my apt clean because there is not enough place for everything. there is no playroom so I have designated one bedroom as a playroom but that is not enough space for all the toys and stuff spills out of there. the living room / dining room becomes an extended playroom despite my best efforts. I have cleaning help once per week but do not know how everyone else does it! PLEASE tell me your secrets. Everyone else's place seems to be so clutter free always. Is it just constant cleaning up all day long or is there some other secret?
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amother
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:09 pm
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Most of us grew up in similar situations and are used to it. Hakol B'seder has a program-book and hotline, possibly conference calls as well, for keeping your home clutter free.
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Mini Cookie
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:28 pm
Truth is, contrary to what you believe or see, many BP women don't really manage in the tiny 1 bedroom apt.
Some buildings are lucky enough to have courtyards. In some buildings, you'll find the kids eating supper, doing homework and playing on the stairs. I guess it's the attitude like the above poster mentioned. I manage by the thought that there are families in my building living in apts as tiny as mine with 4 more kids and seem to be ok.
Yeah, some of them have their apartment looking like the tenament houses and some have their fridge or their dinette set out on their foyer but as long as they believe these are temporary arrangements I guess its manageable.
Some use only collapsable beds (or whatever they're called), they're closed all day in 1 corner w/ a pretty cover & opened at night. Personally I have no extras what so ever. If I'm not using it right this minute its away in storage in a (kind) family member's basement.
Our kids are definitely deprived but I try to conpensate by going to the park often (if that helps)& having dd leave out her steam there. It helps for the couped up parents too.
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Reality
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:45 pm
OP, I know exactly how you feel. I could have written the same post! I can't keep my act together in my 2 bedroom apt with 3 kids & they have 4 kids in a 1 bedroom & it's SPOTLESS.
But I also know that what works for them won't work for me. I can't be so scheduled & rigid. It isn't in my personality & I feel like my kids will grow up more well-rounded people because of that. Don't feel badly about yourself (I know it's hard b/c I do all the time so I should take my own advice  ). You have your own strong points. The end all be all in life isn't having a clean home & spotless children. It is important to have some meaning in your life as well!
Another important note is that they may have many children in small quarters, but those kids are in play-group by 18 months. It is much easier to keep the house clean when the only one home all day is a baby. I just can't do that. So to each their own.
There really are no secrets. It is drilled in their heads from day one to always clean & pick-up right away & send the kids out to school really young. Now your apartment can be spotless too!!! 
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amother
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 9:04 pm
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Borrow 10 kids for a week. When the kids leave you will have HUGE house.
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bnm
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 9:24 pm
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I'm thinking of replacing my kitchen table with one that hangs off the side of the wall and falls down. my dining room table is going to get moved against the wool (negating three seats) so my 9 month old has where to crawl.
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flowerpower
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:27 pm
I am very organized. I make sure all toys that I own are used and decent good toys that can get played with a lot. Otherwise it goes out of this house. I keep them neatly in the closet and if needed, they go in bins. I have things in my house in general that get used a lot-more then once in six years, otherwise you won't find it in my house. Regarding playing, we play a lot outdoors in the spring/summer/ fall so the house doesn't get messed up a lot in the afternoons. I also have the "if you're done with the toys you clean it up before leaving the room rule". It works most of the time. I try to be on top of it to prevent a tornado looking house. If you work hard on rules then they learn (most of the time) to stick with it.
Living with a lot of kids in a tiny apt is hard and taking care of yourself and your kids comes before taking care of your house. So don't worry about it too much and enjoy life!
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Mama Bear
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Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:30 pm
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my apt is always messy and cluttered, except the day the cleaning lady comes!
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yummy2
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:03 am
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one toy/ game out at once. once that is packed away the kids can have another.
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Atali
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:18 am
| aisheschayil wrote: | | one toy/ game out at once. once that is packed away the kids can have another. |
How do you enforce that once your kids are old enough to take out the toys on their own?
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pina colada
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:33 am
| Reality wrote: | but those kids are in play-group by 18 months. It is much easier to keep the house clean when the only one home all day is a baby. I just can't do that. So to each their own.
There really are no secrets. It is drilled in their heads from day one to always clean & pick-up right away & send the kids out to school really young. Now your apartment can be spotless too!!! |
Most people do not send their kids to playgroup at 18 months. There are those that send their kids to playgroup young but they are usually closer to two years. And they are definitely not the majority.
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pina colada
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:35 am
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I have also found that many of thes Boro Park mothers have cleaning help twice a week.
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louche
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 1:55 am
The secret is growing up that way and being used to it. The second secret is being organized and the third is not having so much stuff. If there isn't enough room in a bedroom for the toys, then you have too many toys.
It's also been my observation that no one scrutinizes your house the way you do. You may think Mrs. B.P. Native's apt. is spotless, but chances are it's not. You're just not seeing it with the same critical eyes as you see your place. Do you really look behind Mrs. Native's faucets to see if there's any gunk there, or into her closets to see if all is tidy or if the only thing preventing a major avalanche is the strong latch on the door? Of course not. At least, I hope not!
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louche
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 1:56 am
| Atali wrote: | | aisheschayil wrote: | | one toy/ game out at once. once that is packed away the kids can have another. |
How do you enforce that once your kids are old enough to take out the toys on their own? |
same way you enforce any other rule you may have.
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chocolate moose
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:21 am
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Get ride of some stuff if you can. Check out the Container Store for storage options.
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Lady Godiva
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:24 am
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I've never been in a Boro Park home, but I'd assume it's the same as any other home. You need a place for everything, differnet containers for each set of toys, and teach your kids that anything they take out must be put back where it came from as soon as they're done with it. Also, ONE TOY AT A TIME.
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gryp
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:27 am
| amother wrote: | | I am an out of towner living in boro park. raising 6 small kids in an apt. I grew up in a nice big house out of town with lots of rooms, a big backyard, a large playroom in the basement. my question to all you native ny'ers and chasidish / heimish women is this: how do you do it? I can never seem to keep my apt clean because there is not enough place for everything. there is no playroom so I have designated one bedroom as a playroom but that is not enough space for all the toys and stuff spills out of there. the living room / dining room becomes an extended playroom despite my best efforts. I have cleaning help once per week but do not know how everyone else does it! PLEASE tell me your secrets. Everyone else's place seems to be so clutter free always. Is it just constant cleaning up all day long or is there some other secret? |
I'm thinking they have their parents' home to use as storage space for anything they want to keep but don't want to get rid of.
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solo
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:53 am
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I know quite a few woman with homes just as u describe - tiny and immaculate. the secret is having major cleaning help. they have cleaning help at least twice a week, major built in closet space, and all together spend so much on keeping thier house together they cant afford the transition into a bigger place. oh and most of them are so neurotic about lists and plans and organizing. its something I can admire from a distance but not at all the way id like my house to be run. I tend toward the more uptight its a real effort to let things slide but I think its a much better quality of life.
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yummy2
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:38 pm
why is everyone so quick to assume that people have cleaning help at least twice a week??
I beg to differ. it's a personality, if you are clean and orginised, you can live in a tiny appartment and always have an immaculate home, where as on the other hand, if you are not, sorry to break it to you, but you can have a live in help, and your house will always look untidy... in either case, we are all trying to be the best mothers we can be! now, for all you mothers out there, who can not afford the help twice a week the way people say, ( which is nothing wrong, I am happy if I get help at least once in 2 weeks), here is something to make you feel like a true aisheschayil 
this hangs on my fridge, and it reminds me constantly what is important...
excuse the house
some houses try to hide the fact that children shelter there.
ours boasts of it quite openly, the signs are everywhere.
for smears are on the windows, little smudges on the door.
I should apologize, I guess, for toys strewn on the floor.
but I sat down with the children, and we laughed and played and read,
and if the house doesn't shine, their eyes will shine instead.
for when at times I am forced to choose, the one job or the other.
I'd like to be a housewife, but first I'll be a mother.
by the way, for all who claim once a child is old enough to take out toys on his own,
my son is old enough to take out his own toys, he was however "trained" ( and of course with lots of friendly reminders) once one toy is taken out, he may enjoy it as long as he wants, and once he is done, he needs to pack it away the way he found it, then he may take out another if he would like. it's as simple as that.
and for all of you who say get rid of some,- I dissagree. the more the merrier! the trick to that is-
if you see there are toys that your child played with daily for a while, put that toy high up in the closet, "hide" it for a few weeks, once he gets bored of the ones he has and is playing with for a while, and you see they consistantly clean up nicely, you treat them with that great hidden toy they loved, and it feels like you just bought them a new one! 
hope this will be helpfull.
hatzlacha to all!
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bnm
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Tue, Sep 08 2009, 12:49 pm
my house is not one of those put together ones unless you come withing 24 hours after the cleaning lady leaves.
I also almost never have a cleaning lady because they don't want to come for only 3 hours and I don't need more than that.
now my daughter started messing up drawers and stuff its not even worth cleaning during her short nap.
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