Brocha | Imamother

amother

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 1:09 am

So, some not so smart friend of mine was telling me when you live out of town-as we do-there are some 'critria for naming childtren.,Of course,she isnt the be all end all of people,but she started making me question the name my husband and I have chosen after his great aunt,
here was her list of criteria-I only am wondering about one and two-the others are stupid imho
1,must have no ch-so people can say it
2.needs cute nickname
3. should ahve meaning-it does
4. should be original-isnt ,but who cares??
5. should sound 'modern'-it doesnt but who cares??
So here are my questions;
any cute nicknames for brocha?

how about English name for legal purpose? what do you do if its dh's choice of names this time and this is what he chose
Anyone outside of very frum circles whom I mentioned this name to,kind of snickered-any thoughts?we arent planning to add a name Help!.......

Atali

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 1:14 am

amother wrote:

Ignore everyone else and do what you want.

I personally hate having an English name. It just confuses people and creates problems.

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 2:28 am

Your friend is being ridiculous.

Re 1: My sons are Netanel Simcha and Elchanan Nissim. My non-religious in-laws, when they refer to them by their full names, say Netanel Simka and Elkanan Nissim. My BT husband simply uses the Yeminite 'het' for the 'chet' so it's Sim-ha and Elhanan.

Re 2: Why does it need a nickname? My name is Devora. But I'm not a Devoiry or a Debbie. I've pretty much been Devora all my life.

Re 3: Why does it need to have meaning and just what does that mean exactly? My daughters are Tzipporah Chana (another ch sound) and Sara Rivka. They're named for family members. That's meaningful enough for me. My sons OTOH have first names for relatives (my husband's grandfathers) and their middle names reflect a meaningful point in our lives regarding the boys. The fact that the full translation of Nati's name translates well is not coincidence but well, with a first name of Netanel, almost anything will flow.

Points 4 and 5 are also a bit silly. Many hold that traditional names are more the way to go and that modern names are 'simply Hebrew words taken for a name and it shouldn't be done'.

I knew a Bracha and her nickname was 'Bicky'...

Regarding secular names... it's another thing I don't get. Be proud of your Jewish heritage. Stop worrying about 'what other people' can or cannot do regarding pronunciation.

ANd as far as 'who gets to choose'... the way we did it was we BOTH had names we wanted to use but he had first choice. If it was a name I liked then I 'gave it to him'... but we both had to agree on it.

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 7:30 am

For many a secular name is just "the thing you do". It doesn't mean they are not proud. Some of the frummest and some of the proudest people I know have/use/give secular names because that's how it's done by them.

As for wanting to fit in, there are such minded people in all ethnicities. The youngest generation tends to give ethnic names, but their parents for example often gave secular names. No lack of pride, just what they thought proper (using the country's names). Judging it as lack of pride is totally misunderstanding them. On contrary many were so "basking" in their culture that they didn't see how a secular name could be assimilating, just integrating.

amother

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 9:17 am

My non-frum parents (I became frum on my own at age 14) gave me a beautiful Hebrew first name. I am so thankful they did! They just liked the name, needed an "A" name! I lived in a non-frum area, and survived just fine. I had no Engilsh first name. People pronounced the name fine, and the only comments I got were that it was beautiful. They gave me an English and a Yiddish middle name. I use the Yiddish one, it fits perfectly with the first name. I actually wish they had just given me that and not the English. (My mom said I could legally change it if I wanted to)

amother

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 9:18 am

Mirabelle

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 9:49 am

I have a Hebrew first name and have had no problem with it in secular college and graduate school. I've also lived in some very OOT places and was just fine! Very Happy

DD only has Hebrew names and we are only planning on giving future children only Hebrew names. DH was given an English name and a similar sounding Hebrew name by his Israeli parents and to this day it has caused a lot of confusion on official documents, etc.

I am not sure where OP lives, but in many places in the US it has become more normal to give your kids more original names, so no one bats an eyelash. I mean, think about the interesting African American names that you hear these days!

It's your kid! Name her what you want!

chaylizi

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 12:33 pm

I hate having an english name. My kids don't have english names. My 2nd daughter's legal name is Chaya. That is what she is called at every dr's office (ok sometimes it's Ch-aya or Khaya) but my ped manages to do fine. And I live out of town.

her nickname is Chayale- not quite easier than Chaya (not by a long shot).

Seraph

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 1:40 pm

IMO, absolutely you don't need to give a name with a good nickname. The name we plan on giving our baby has no nickname I could think of, but so what?
I prefer original names, but that is personal preference- not necessity.
No ch is a nice thing, but by no means necessary. I've found that even relatives that cant pronounce names learn to pronounce it when its their relatives, and for non relatives, who really cares?
For me, a meaning of a name is important, because I want my kids to be proud of what their name means. I would never give a name that I don't know its meaning.
Modern isnt important, but you don't want to give a name that is so outdated that your kids will be embarassed to have their name.

amother

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 4:23 pm

OP here.
Thanks to each of you for writing sensible posts. This friend had me thinking my kid would feel like an alien with a hard to pronounce name.But with the meaning behind the name and the relative my dh loved,what could be better? I always thought I loved the name brocha and it was weird that so suddenly it fell out of favor with me-could that be aniother side effect of pregnancy? Wink

Seraph

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 4:35 pm

amother wrote:

Or maybe its your ruach hakodesh telling you its not the right name for your baby?

Mirabelle

Sun, Sep 13 2009, 4:47 pm

shalhevet wrote:

We don't use nicknames on principal, so we don't need to check that out. IME most of those who do use nicknames find one naturally develops, not that they decide in advance.

I totally agree!
With DD, so many nicknames developed as she got older. In fact, they change all the time!