So.... what do YOU do with the kids?

Rubber Ducky

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 7:45 am

I used to trade off with a friend for Rosh Hashana, and especially for Yom Kippur. One would watch all the kids while the other would daven at home or go to shul for awhile.

sky

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 8:04 am

Get together with my SIL and take turns going for short amount of time to davening (there is a shul next door to both of our houses).
I'm being really brave this year and walking to her house with my 19 month old on shabbos (no eruv, its a 10 - 15 minute walk) but I can't be home the entire time myself. dh won't be home until at least 3. I'm not taking the kids to davening at all. Maybe I'll take my 3 yr old to hear the shofar blown after davening is over when they do it for the ladies - he can be quiet then.

Flowerpot

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:20 am

Having my babysitter over. I am really looking forward I love the davening RH in shul with all the singing warming our hearts.

stem

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:46 am

I stay home with my kids. We will daven at home, play, nap etc. My shul has babysitting for a few hours each day, but I don't like the environment so I choose not to use the service. They hire non-jewish ladies who are mostly foreigners who don't speak english. All children from infants up till age 9 are crammed into 2-3 classrooms in the yeshiva. Basically, it's mildly supervised chaos - not a place I'd send my kids at any time of the year, let alone rosh hashana and YK.

I'll either go to someone's house or to a second blowing somewhere in the afternoon.
I haven't been to shul on RH or YK since having kids, except for the couple of years that my MIL came to us and offered to take turns with me.

Mommy3.5

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:13 am

RH, staying home with kids on shabbat, I will take them to shul for shofer, if they behave, we'll stay for mussaf, if not we leave.

YK, they stay with me (Our shul goes from 730a-end of fast with no break) IYH, I will have a babysitter in the afternoon, and will take my older boys for mincha and neila.

MamaBear

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:27 am

I'll go the second day to hear shofar. My older two can sit quietly for that amount of time with dh (they did so last year) but the baby is quite vocal so either I'll just stand by the door or see if I can go separately while dh watches all of them.

I have very strong opinions on toddlers in our shul - the ones who make noise while everyone is supposed to be davening (and I say supposed b/c there's a lot of talking in general which is another issue altogether). And the playroom is staffed during the holidays by nonJewish foreign women who speak limited English: controlled chaos like a PP said. So none of it is ideal. I spend most holidays at home. YK I'm home completely to save my strength for fasting.

sarahd

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:31 am

R"H, I will be home and take the kids at 11.30 iy"h for the women's shofar in the shul kindergarten.

Y"K, I hope my neighbor's daughter will babysit for a little while so I can go to Yizkor.

I spent many, many years in shul on R"H and Y"K, davening that the day would come when I wouldn't be able to go to shul because I'd be busy with my kids. So I have no complaints, b"h.

gryp

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:33 am

I'm surprised by the number of mothers who expect to daven RH. Maybe something is wrong with me that I'll be happy with the basics expected every other day of the year plus the shofar.

daisy

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:35 am

Take kids to shul for shofar only, otherwise home with the kids.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:46 am

R"H: have a few toys to bring out "special" so I can daven, and they'll also have some Shabbos/Y"T treats (graham crackers) to keep them happily busy while I get some davening in.
Shabbos I'll go to shul to pick up my husband and get the kids some air, but we'll stay outside. If my boys want to go in, I'll let them since they know to be quiet and it's the end, but since shul is so packed, I might dissuade them.
Sunday, I'll go to the tekios for women right after davening with my boys while my husband watches my daughter outside.

Y"K: Planning on having food, toys, etc all prepared ahead of time and keeping kids busy that way to get some davening/resting in. My husband has some break to help me for a tad which will help a lot. I might see if I can have my niece come over to help like she did last year, but we'll see.

chaylizi

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:28 am

GR wrote:

I must be the only one who hasn't even thought about YK yet. Confused

Way too much happening between now and then.

I didn't think about it. it's just my standing arrangement. I always go for yizkor unless I'm dizzy or feel faint & my sister always comes at the end if she feels well enough.

lili

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:30 am

no options for moms who do their duty and stay at home with their kids?

Mama Bear

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:51 am

GR wrote:

I'm surprised by the number of mothers who expect to daven RH. Maybe something is wrong with me that I'll be happy with the basics expected every other day of the year plus the shofar.

On R"H and Y"K I take out my machzor as soon as I get up in the morning and push in as much as I can between playing with the kids and plying them with treats. I usually end up davening a lot, since that's my focus of the day all day.

Tova

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 12:30 pm

I have had a "minhag" since I was about 16 to say all of sefer Tehillim over the 2-day R"H and again the whole sefer on Yom Kippur (I usually do start on Erev Y"K though).

I literally carry my Yesod Malchus Tehillim with me all of Yamim Noraim. I hope to daven some basics, sit on the floor with my kids and say Tehillim while they play. Hopefully get in Shmoneh Esrei while they nap.

Same shul plans as HY (will I see you?) - Shabbos go to shul towards the end and stay outside; Sunday pop in at the end for the women's tekiyos while my husband watches the kids outside (although maybe I'll bring in my 2 year old as he learned about shofar in playgroup).

dee's mommy

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 12:49 pm

I consider myself lucky to say Shemonah Esrei. I will do what I can at home, hopefully take my little one to shul so we can hear the shofar.

I like the idea of saying Tehillim for RH. I don't know that I can commit to that though. I used to do it once a month before Mommyhood, but now it takes me a few months to get through it. Study

flowerpower

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 3:05 pm

I take them to shul for shofer only and mom and kids daven at home. I sometimes go to the park with someone after shofer.

octopus

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 3:28 pm

lili wrote:

no options for moms who do their duty and stay at home with their kids?

I was thinking the same thing. Scratching Head

Mrs Bissli

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 5:23 pm

Oops, should have thought of "stay home with the kids, doin' mummy job" bit. You guys are absolutely right. Maybe now my kids are older it's my way of blocking memories from early tough years. Oh, wait a minute, I always managed to get a babysitter so I could daaven at the shul at least a good chunk.

mimivan

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 6:11 pm

Mrs Bissli wrote:

It's this time of the year again.
When I start worrying about what to do with the children throughout the long services.

RH: Kids come and stay with me/DH for Arbit (no way I'm gonna miss this one as it's soooo beutiful). They'll need to eat early on 2nd day as we won't start 2nd day dinner till 8:30 or 9pm-ish. Morning--I need to get as much tefilla done as possible before leaving home. They do have children's service but only for 1hr or so. The rest of the day, kids play with their friends unsupervised--I've tried to organise rota of other parents to keep an eye but not enough people committed to volunteer. Lunch is a BIG issue, we won't finish musaf till 2pm on the 2nd day, maybe a bit earlier but still 1pm on the 1st day so kids will be STARVING. I need to make sure to smuggle in some crackers/fruits before shabbat (no eruv here). Also it will be PACKED, no empty seats so I'll have to squeeze through ladies to bring in the kids to hear shofar and they'll need to stand on stairs.

YK: Need to get a babysitter so I can attend Kol Nidrei (shul is packed, kids do not get their own seats, no parallel children's activities). Morning--kids can stay at children's services and play with friends. Need to bring them home for lunch. Trying to organise playdates with other families who live VERY CLOSE to the shul. Need to get a babysitter again for Neila.

What do other imamothers do?

you sound very organized...but how on earth do you find a babysitter for the Yomim Tovim!

There is no Shofar on Shabbat, (first day)..I will iy'h get up bright and early to daven, and only take my kids for the very end. I have a one year old who ba'h will probably be running around outside, so I will have to chase him and will hear none of the davening I"m sure, but my function is just to bring the two older boys so they can daven with their father, but they aren't old enough to be there the entire time.

2nd day, much trickier with the shofar...and in Chabad, we have the minhag that a woman should aim to hear all of the shofar. I'm sure I'll be running outside with little Motty, but am hoping it will be sufficiently loud and the windows will be open so I can hear it. Again, I will have to daven at home in the early hours and get dh to watch them while I daven mincha.

Better yet, I want to see if they have a special shofar blowing for women with young kids...but I'm sure it won't be all 100 (that is a chumra that I have said bli neder too...nice if it can be done, but...)

Kol Nidrei iy'h am going with my kids...the rest I'm at home and might try to make it for Neilah...(it's my favorite Yom Tom service of the whole year even though with little ones, I've often had to be satisfied with standing outside and hearing the beautiful niggunim ...but it is rare that I can watch the kids and follow along too..so I just daven the Amidah part at home and go listen)...Y.K might be easier because I think my dh is taking my son to his savtas so it will just be the two younger ones.

jemappelle

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 6:57 pm

Will be home with my 3 k"h-- husband will blow shofar for me on Sunday. Last year when had 2 kids took them to shul for shofar only. its a challenge...
yom kippur - home- am quite nervous about having strength for fasting/managing the kids/ nursing