(((crying))) I hate nursing, hate the nursing profession

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Forum -> Working Women

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Nicole

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 8:51 pm

I'm literally crying. I can't stand it anymore. I hate working. I hate it that there is someone else raising my kids. Someone that I don't especially like her but there isn't anyone better. I hate not being able to help my children kick bad habits because the babysitter feeds those habits. I hate not being in charge of how my own children are raised.
I hate the nursing profession. I hate ppl being suspicious of my intentions all the time. My higher ups always think I'm trying to pull one over on them when I ask a simple question. I hate not being able to be trusted. I hate listening to nivul peh and having to be around low lives (both patients and coworkers) all day, it's killing my neshomah. I'm wasting my inner resources. I hate working. And I hate when neighbors, friends etc talk down to me because I work as if they did something great to allow themselves not to work when in reality all they did was marry doctors or lawyers or something- I would stay home with my kids in a heartbeat.
I just see no end to it. Every day, same shtus, same struggles, escalating exhaustion, can't keep on top of it all. I hate speaking to my kollel wife sisters who are "struggling" in Israel who are home with their kids all day except the 3 hours that they teach and who are fully supported and who don't worry about if the rent check will bounce.
It's horrible to be so bitter before rosh hashana, isn't it? Maybe it's just hormones...
Thanks for listening.

Pickle Lady

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:27 pm

My sister used to work in a psych hospital also. She only worked there a year because it was really bringing her down. It really took a toll on her emotionally. May things get better for you with a new year.

momof6

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:29 pm

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
A friend of mine, who is a nurse, cried to me about not wanting to leave her baby and go back to work.
Sad

Sometimes we have to do what we have to do to support our families.
In her case she really has no choice.
Sometimes there is another option that you haven't yet thought of:

Good luck! a gut gebenched yar! A year of Hatzlocha b'ruchnius u'bgashmius!

Mini Cookie

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:30 pm

at first I thought you meant nursing, as in breastfeeding so I was gonna yell along "ME TOOOOOO!". Now that I read it I can just say sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

As far as the fact that hate the way your children are being raised...why not try to get a kind frum lady to babysit? And by the way...nival peh? it's in many work environments! that doesn't make it right but perhaps in the quiet moments in your job try to talk to the right ppl that aren't talking trashy.

Hope this year will bring about change for the good!

NotInNJMommy

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:47 pm

I"m not in nursing, and BH enjoy my job environment, but I do know how you feel about leaving your kids. It's hard for me too. I wish I could go down to part time, and I think if I asked they'd let but it wouldn't be a good idea to go there (ie. for my career, raises, etc) as it would be career suicide. Maybe ifI had a newborn, etc. and eased back in to full time, but that's not the case.

You do the best you can do. I know for us, I have 2 choices: go to work, or go on welfare. I've chosen the former BH (and BH I have that choice with this economy).

Get the best situation you can b'teva for your kids, and daven very hard. Do what you can to find the best work situation for you, and daven really hard. Thank Hashem for what you do have. (so, yes I'm tired and have to work tomorrow all day, but BH BH BH BH BH I have parnossah.) Do the best you can to focus on what you can control and what is good about the situation, and daven really hard.

Nicole

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:51 pm

Thank you all for your replies. I really felt so so much better just writing it all out, just getting it out, but really, each and every one of your replies is so comforting, and so considerate.
Mi k'amcha yisrael. Thank you so much.
(I'm waiting for someone to post anon and "yell" at me for being spoiled or yes, I'm crazy for working or how dare I feel resentment towards kollel people who are living a life of Toyrah) Very Happy

sequoia

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 9:56 pm

I can do that under my username if you'd like LOL

In all seriousness, though, I am sorry your job causes you distress and takes you away from your children, and I hope things will improve in the coming year.

chavamom

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:23 pm

Is there at least some place else you could work? It sounds like a really bad situation.

chaylizi

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:32 pm

awww! that sounds so hard. I remember hating not being home with my dd also. I tried a couple of different configurations to try and maximize the time I spent with her. I did 4- 8 hours shifts (sort of part time, but only by 8 hours & it made a huge difference) & then I did 12 hour midnights 3x a week. (when I worked in l & d). It was harder for the 3 months that my orientation was on days, but then I had so much time to spend with her. It was so great.

As for your higher ups, it sounds like there is some kind of trust issue there. Maybe you need to look around (quietly, so no one knows) to see if there are any interesting jobs available.

And the nivul peh. The only thing you can really do is ask them not to say certain things in front of you. I did that in nursing school. Everyone knew that around me was a profanity free zone. It doesn't work everywhere & if you've "tolerated" it until now it maybe harder, but it may not hurt to consider it.

HUGS! Hope things will be better soon. Feel free to pm me to vent.

jasmine

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 10:36 pm

I know exactly how you feel. I recently worked in NICU intensive care for four years...my co-workers other nurses, were basically black, and me, a white jewish, frum female and older than most made for a very uncomfortable environment. Some were kind, warm hearted and funny; however most were hostile, unhelpful, crass with an attitude. Plus management focused on the negative, rather than the positive; morale was low, and often I went home dejected, deflated and demoralized; sublte anti-semitism, although hard to prove, but easy to "smell" permeated the environment as well.

There were some patients who were educated and appreciated the good that I did; but many were sullen and unfriendly and quick to report anything I did or might have done that was to their disliking. And of course the good that I did, was rarely reported. If there ever was a quick course in learning to be bittul (humbled) this was it.........finally G-d had compassion on me and "plucked"me from my mitzrayim; I was somewhere on the 49th level of psychic pain and stress soon to descend to the 50th level, G-d Forbid. Fortunately, or unfortunately, or mazel tov, as a friend said I was soon to be LAID OFF .
Yes, now I am looking again, NOT AN EASY PURSUIT DURING THIS RECESSION, YES NURSING TOO HAS BEEN HIT, although they need nurses big time, but not enough $ to hire, train, orient, etc . At this point, I am convinced this particular unit and most units in this hospital were bad news. But I still beleive (am I dreaming?) that it can get better. At this point in my life, I don't need benefits, so I am going for per diem, more $ per hour and work when I want - Flexibility!!!!
You might ask, why do I continue in this profession.? Because I do love nursing, and helping others, and high tech as well, and the money is good and with it I had the opportunity to finally give lots of tzedeka!!!! Further at this time in my life, a major career change is not an option

I do hope that my prayers for a good position in my field where my efforts are truly appreciated will be forthcoming soon. Bottom line, our true Employer is the Eihbeshter. AS we approach the new year, may we all be zochen for an immediate geula, with revealed chesed for all . K'sival Chasima tova

ShakleeMom

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:00 pm

My friend worked in a cancer ward and started dreaming about tumors in her pantry, her candlesticks, her shoes... she moved to the e.r. and is so much happier! how soon until you can switch departments?

Mama Bear

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:21 pm

Maybe you can take six months off? or even just 3? nursing jobs arent so hard to find, you can find one when you decide to go back to work. sounds to me lik eyou need a break.

Strudel

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:32 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I can relate somewhat. Being an OT was hard sometimes, I had to listen and be around people who I'd usually make an effort to avoid.
Things did improve when I went into peds/school based therapy. The school environment was easier to deal with relationship wise and the holidays great.
Ever consider being a school nurse? I'm sure it would be a drop in salary, but you'd have more time to spend with your kids.
Hope things get better for you!

Mitzvahmom

Thu, Sep 17 2009, 11:46 pm

Yeah I learned that even while shadowing a nurse.

there are good situations and bad situations.

Try to find another job, make sure to ask those on the unit what the work situation is like.

No one should have to deal with this sort of situation.

***HUGS***

msym

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 12:04 am

I tottally hear you . I hated working as a nurse also.. the non jewish environment, never seeing my family, being overworked and tired all the time.... the pay is great but I hated it so much that I quit.
I dont know where you live, but in brooklyn there are tons of jewish homecare agencys as well as school nursing oppurtunities.. I wish you tons and tons of hatzlacha I can totally relate Hug

Flowerpot

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 12:15 am

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

You cannot work if your work is not appreciated or trusted. if I was you I would look for a new job in this field.

if your babysitter doesn't have the same priorities then you have. Then she is not made to take care of your kids. I know its not easy training in a new babysitter but that's your best option. And when interveiwing you ask... to see what she believes in. will she give butter bread everyday if lazy to prepare a healthy meal. or give softdrinks instead of water..... Its VERY important to be happy with your babysitter. If not all you do at work, is think about how upset you are that you left you kids with xyz.

Tamiri

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 12:46 am

Nicole, I have a friend who is a psych nurse. She earns very well sleeping in.... a jail!!! She has a few overnight shifts which consist mostly of sleeping (I know she administers meds before she leaves). True, she has to sleep on a couple of chairs, but she says she really does nothing, is home for the kids etc. If you think something like this could work for you, pm me and I will give you her number to call (after I get her permission, of course).

chavamom

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 3:23 am

jasmine wrote:

At this point in my life, I don't need benefits, so I am going for per diem, more $ per hour and work when I want - Flexibility!!!!

If you don't need benefits, try working agency. I did it for 3 years. Much better pay than per diem and I still got placements in areas I had experience - just at a better rate of pay than the nurses who worked for the hospital.

ss321

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 7:57 am

Mama Bear wrote:

Maybe you can take six months off? or even just 3? nursing jobs arent so hard to find, you can find one when you decide to go back to work. sounds to me lik eyou need a break.

seriously, I like MB's suggestion.

PM me for specifics. I took a YEAR off from medical school and dont regret it one bit.
I definitely needed it Smile

I really can empathize. Sometimes I hate putting up with alot of the BS. and I hate the politics and kissing *** and its only gonna get worse during residency. and as much as I LOVE what I do, It is incredibly tough to be away from my kids, dont get me wrong. All I can say is "I undertand"

if MB's suggestion is unrealistic, I would suggest something like what chavamom or jasmine brought up - per diem or working for an agency. you will have alot more flexibility. if you get insurance through your DH, this is definitely the way to go. Or maybe you just need a change of venue...the cool thing about nursing (AFAIK) is that you can pretty much jump around in terms of specialties. can you find something else that might make you happier??

greenfire

Fri, Sep 18 2009, 9:01 am

definitely sounds stressful ... hope you find a way to change the situation ...

even mentally challenged people can go more crazy in a psyche ward ... let alone the sane ...

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