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-> Working Women
amother
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 Sun, Nov 08 2009, 9:37 pm
I'm a part time working mother of two kah. I've taken ds #1 out to a sitter while going to work and was doing the same with ds #2. Now my babysitter has informed me that she is not well and can't continue babysitting. I'm having a real hard time finding a sitter.
I have a polish cleaning lady who does my cleaning and housework twice a week. She adores my kids and my kids really like her. I arranged with her to babysit my baby and do light housework while I'm out and then she'll come additionally on Fridays to do the heavy washing.
She rearranged her schedule to accomodate me and is very happy to take the job (besides that it earns her extra hours). It would definately be more convenient for me too that I don't have to bundle up and shlep my baby out. Now I'm really having second thoughts how much I can entrust her fully with my childs care. I really want this to work out but.....
Would you do it? I want to hear from working mothers who are doing this...
Also do you calculate per hour or work on a weekly wage, if its on a steady schedule?
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Barbara
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 12:28 am
| amother wrote: | I'm a part time working mother of two kah. I've taken ds #1 out to a sitter while going to work and was doing the same with ds #2. Now my babysitter has informed me that she is not well and can't continue babysitting. I'm having a real hard time finding a sitter.
I have a polish cleaning lady who does my cleaning and housework twice a week. She adores my kids and my kids really like her. I arranged with her to babysit my baby and do light housework while I'm out and then she'll come additionally on Fridays to do the heavy washing.
She rearranged her schedule to accomodate me and is very happy to take the job (besides that it earns her extra hours). It would definately be more convenient for me too that I don't have to bundle up and shlep my baby out. Now I'm really having second thoughts how much I can entrust her fully with my childs care. I really want this to work out but.....
Would you do it? I want to hear from working mothers who are doing this...
Also do you calculate per hour or work on a weekly wage, if its on a steady schedule? |
This is a woman whom you already know and trust.
She adores your kids. They adore her.
I'm not sure what the question is. It sounds like a dream come true.
BTW, we paid our sitter weekly.
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Raisin
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 6:31 am
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I pay my babysitter hourly. (she also does housework)
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 7:29 am
ITA with barbara.
what is the question? this sounds like a dream come true! you already trust her. she likes your kids. your kids like her. she cleans and knows her way around your house already. this is ideal.
my babysitter does all my cleaning (except heavy duty pesach stuff when we get extra help because she has her hands full with the kids). We pay her weekly. I live in NY and we pay 400-450 per week depending on how late she stays and stuff like that.
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happymom
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 7:31 am
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I would just get a nanny cam so you can see if there were to be a problem. thats always the safest thing to do
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 7:38 am
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When you say "polish" you mean she's not fun unzere? No, I would not entrust my children's lives and neshamos to her.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 7:56 am
| amother wrote: | | When you say "polish" you mean she's not fun unzere? No, I would not entrust my children's lives and neshamos to her. |
I am the poster from two posts ago who said I pay my babysitter 400-450.
I agreed with this intheory when my first was born and I had to go back to school, but here is the looong story of why I changed my mind over time:
I was very apprehensive leaving my only child with just anyone. I found a heimish lady from closeby who said she was willing to come to my house (which was essential to me). She sat around on her tush all day and did nothing basically, I saw when I came home. sat on my house phone all day when the baby was sleeping. eventually after 3 weeks one day she said (since she doesnt have a car and I do) she can only do it if it is by her house. I had no other choice, I couldnt quit the next day, so I agreed very reluctantly. it was insane and sickening to have to wake up my sleeping newborn at freezing cold dark hours of the morning, get him dressed, strapped in a car, to bring to somoenes house, freezing cold, and then expect him to be ok and comfortable. I had to lug bottles everywhere, diapers, clothes to be changed (which of course, couldtn be thrown into a washing machine whenever they were dirty, but had to be brought home at the end of each day), it was a nightmare. her house was a wreck and it freaked me out. then, (even though the reason I was paying her a premium was so that she could 100% devote herself to my baby and only babysit him), she decided to take on another kid. who knows if he was sick, if he had his shots, or what. that was the last straw. and she actually had the chutzpah to be upset at me that I was pulling out mid year and ruining her parnossah. we had an agreement a contract. that she would come to my house, and only watch him. yeah right.
still apprehensive to get someone frei, I found another frum woman. well, every other week she had something. had to leave early, showed up late for a doctors appt, called me in themiddle of the day for an emergency, etc. and she also, sat on her tush, didnt do one iota of anything, didnt even clean his bottles, I would come home to piles of them in the sink (and I have a milchig dishwasher. at least throw them in there! it takes like 0 seconds of work!). washing his clothes? forget it. very bare bones basic. and she was not loving at all.
my DH and I had long discussions about the situation. and also about the fact that we were paying 100 dollars a week for a polish cleaning lady, on top of full time babysitting, which was insane, considering alot of the stuff she was doing WAS laundry, which could be done by a babysitter, and in our opinion should have been. eventually, we decided to try someone new, it was a babysitter that one of my aunts had used for about 10 years, but her youngest just started school and she didnt need anyone full time anymore. well, we absolutely fell in love with her. since she had worked for frum people for 20+ years, she knew her way around my kithcne, no need to warn her about which sink the bottles go into, or what not to touch, or that she absolutely cannot make herself a scrambled egg for breakfast. she sings modeh ani with my kids when they wake up and teaches them spanish. yes, its not perfect, but she loves my kids, takes perfect care of them (I know this because I had a nannycam for 2 years in the beginning, first in the kitchen, then in one bedroom, then in another, I kept moving it around to see), and on top of all that, she keeps my house sparkling clean!
so sometimes the answer is not so simple, yes, ideally someone frum is "better," but if they are going to lie to you and force you to bring ur kids to them, and sit all day and not do any cleaning, it just ends up being a waste of x and $.
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Raisin
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 9:19 am
I agree - for a few years I only got Jewish babysitters. while they were lovely they did not do a single thing in my house, and I felt bad asking them to. (they were also personal friends) One was not frum at all, the other was somewhat.
For the last couple of years I got non jewish girls who also clean up a little as well as babysit.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:02 am
| Barbara wrote: | | amother wrote: | I'm a part time working mother of two kah. I've taken ds #1 out to a sitter while going to work and was doing the same with ds #2. Now my babysitter has informed me that she is not well and can't continue babysitting. I'm having a real hard time finding a sitter.
I have a polish cleaning lady who does my cleaning and housework twice a week. She adores my kids and my kids really like her. I arranged with her to babysit my baby and do light housework while I'm out and then she'll come additionally on Fridays to do the heavy washing.
She rearranged her schedule to accomodate me and is very happy to take the job (besides that it earns her extra hours). It would definately be more convenient for me too that I don't have to bundle up and shlep my baby out. Now I'm really having second thoughts how much I can entrust her fully with my childs care. I really want this to work out but.....
Would you do it? I want to hear from working mothers who are doing this...
Also do you calculate per hour or work on a weekly wage, if its on a steady schedule? |
This is a woman whom you already know and trust.
She adores your kids. They adore her.
I'm not sure what the question is. It sounds like a dream come true.
BTW, we paid our sitter weekly. |
OP here,
she is a non jewish woman....
I was always around when she was at my house cleaning. The only time I left her with my kids was to run over to the grocery or pick up my older one from the bus.
I'm all for it! A dream come true....some friends are just making me have second thoughts about trusting a non jewish woman whith my child claiming they would NEVER do it.
BTW, I'm at work now, It's her first day babysitting ....
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:09 am
OP again,
I've tried do a search on nanny cams. There are so many out there!
Any recommendations on which to get?
I'm not looking for the most expensive one out there....
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:15 am
| amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | When you say "polish" you mean she's not fun unzere? No, I would not entrust my children's lives and neshamos to her. |
I am the poster from two posts ago who said I pay my babysitter 400-450.
I agreed with this intheory when my first was born and I had to go back to school, but here is the looong story of why I changed my mind over time:
I was very apprehensive leaving my only child with just anyone. I found a heimish lady from closeby who said she was willing to come to my house (which was essential to me). She sat around on her tush all day and did nothing basically, I saw when I came home. sat on my house phone all day when the baby was sleeping. eventually after 3 weeks one day she said (since she doesnt have a car and I do) she can only do it if it is by her house. I had no other choice, I couldnt quit the next day, so I agreed very reluctantly. it was insane and sickening to have to wake up my sleeping newborn at freezing cold dark hours of the morning, get him dressed, strapped in a car, to bring to somoenes house, freezing cold, and then expect him to be ok and comfortable. I had to lug bottles everywhere, diapers, clothes to be changed (which of course, couldtn be thrown into a washing machine whenever they were dirty, but had to be brought home at the end of each day), it was a nightmare. her house was a wreck and it freaked me out. then, (even though the reason I was paying her a premium was so that she could 100% devote herself to my baby and only babysit him), she decided to take on another kid. who knows if he was sick, if he had his shots, or what. that was the last straw. and she actually had the chutzpah to be upset at me that I was pulling out mid year and ruining her parnossah. we had an agreement a contract. that she would come to my house, and only watch him. yeah right.
still apprehensive to get someone frei, I found another frum woman. well, every other week she had something. had to leave early, showed up late for a doctors appt, called me in themiddle of the day for an emergency, etc. and she also, sat on her tush, didnt do one iota of anything, didnt even clean his bottles, I would come home to piles of them in the sink (and I have a milchig dishwasher. at least throw them in there! it takes like 0 seconds of work!). washing his clothes? forget it. very bare bones basic. and she was not loving at all.
my DH and I had long discussions about the situation. and also about the fact that we were paying 100 dollars a week for a polish cleaning lady, on top of full time babysitting, which was insane, considering alot of the stuff she was doing WAS laundry, which could be done by a babysitter, and in our opinion should have been. eventually, we decided to try someone new, it was a babysitter that one of my aunts had used for about 10 years, but her youngest just started school and she didnt need anyone full time anymore. well, we absolutely fell in love with her. since she had worked for frum people for 20+ years, she knew her way around my kithcne, no need to warn her about which sink the bottles go into, or what not to touch, or that she absolutely cannot make herself a scrambled egg for breakfast. she sings modeh ani with my kids when they wake up and teaches them spanish. yes, its not perfect, but she loves my kids, takes perfect care of them (I know this because I had a nannycam for 2 years in the beginning, first in the kitchen, then in one bedroom, then in another, I kept moving it around to see), and on top of all that, she keeps my house sparkling clean!
so sometimes the answer is not so simple, yes, ideally someone frum is "better," but if they are going to lie to you and force you to bring ur kids to them, and sit all day and not do any cleaning, it just ends up being a waste of x and $. |
Thanks for taking your time to post your story, showing that it can work..
My polish lady is not experienced in babysitting but has kids of her own (they are grown up already) and likes kids.
She is familiar with my house and knows the difference of fleishig and milchigs and which side of my kitchen is which...
I'm just so hoping this should work out!
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Barbara
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:25 am
We had a non-Jewish babysitter for over 10 years, from the time DS was 1 until he was past 12 (and she left us to watch her own grandson; we would have kept her until high school if we could have). She loves my son the way she loves her own children and grandchildren, and he loves her like a grandmother. She played with him, read to him, forced him to do his homework, and even taught him to write. There was never a moment that I did not feel safe with him in her care. They still talk at least once a week.
No, she wasn't able to teach him brachas, but she was completely respectful of our lives.
I'm not suggesting that a frum sitter might not have been equally good, but this is the way it worked out for us.
Edited to add -- she was a cleaning woman, which is how my neighbor M met her, then hired her to watch M's kids. I got to know her while I was home with DS for 8 months, then hired her when M left her job.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:31 am
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I couldn't agree more. We had a wonderful Spanish nanny who was loving and I trusted completely. Not only that, she kept my apt sparkling clean and did all the laundry, as well as grocery shopping. After she left I had another Spanish nanny, who was less loving but still did excellent housework. Last May I decided I need to "do better" for my kid and I hired some frum babysitters - first of all, the adjective "some" is because they kept quitting and saying they wanted something different, a real job, etc. They also didn't clean or do laundry, or wash dishes etc. I tried to train the first one, and she was good, but after that it went waaay downhill. My current one wouldn't even spill the potty seat into the toilet bc it digusted her. And she left open bags of snack food around the apt. I also nanny cam all of these ppl, and my current "frum" babysitter would completely neglect my kid - either plop him in his crib or leave him on the potty for an hour while she surfed the internet and looked at facebook. The last straw came on last Thursday when I came home from work to find [filth] pop-ups on my computer. I fired her immediately. I started interviewing new, non jewish-only babysitters, with a list of my specifications - no internet, no cooking, please do light housework, etc. They are so respectful and much more normal, not like my menuval "frum" babysitter.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 11:31 am
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I couldn't agree more. We had a wonderful Spanish nanny who was loving and I trusted completely. Not only that, she kept my apt sparkling clean and did all the laundry, as well as grocery shopping. After she left I had another Spanish nanny, who was less loving but still did excellent housework. Last May I decided I need to "do better" for my kid and I hired some frum babysitters - first of all, the adjective "some" is because they kept quitting and saying they wanted something different, a real job, etc. They also didn't clean or do laundry, or wash dishes etc. I tried to train the first one, and she was good, but after that it went waaay downhill. My current one wouldn't even spill the potty seat into the toilet bc it digusted her. And she left open bags of snack food around the apt. I also nanny cam all of these ppl, and my current "frum" babysitter would completely neglect my kid - either plop him in his crib or leave him on the potty for an hour while she surfed the internet and looked at facebook. The last straw came on last Thursday when I came home from work to find [filth] pop-ups on my computer. I fired her immediately. I started interviewing new, non jewish-only babysitters, with a list of my specifications - no internet, no cooking, please do light housework, etc. They are so respectful and much more normal, not like my menuval "frum" babysitter.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 12:20 pm
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I have a great spanish girl babysitting my kids too. I will admit to having doubts at the begining, but I am very happy with my decision. She has three of her own kids & loves my kids as her own. I pay her by the hour, same as she gets paid to clean + her bus fare. She does the housekeeping too. bh. I would also like to get a nannycam, but don't know which one.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 12:32 pm
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Ours are from wilife.com. They go through the computer and can be watched while you are at work (over the internet). However, they don't have audio.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 12:35 pm
| amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | When you say "polish" you mean she's not fun unzere? No, I would not entrust my children's lives and neshamos to her. |
I am the poster from two posts ago who said I pay my babysitter 400-450.
I agreed with this intheory when my first was born and I had to go back to school, but here is the looong story of why I changed my mind over time:
I was very apprehensive leaving my only child with just anyone. I found a heimish lady from closeby who said she was willing to come to my house (which was essential to me). She sat around on her tush all day and did nothing basically, I saw when I came home. sat on my house phone all day when the baby was sleeping. eventually after 3 weeks one day she said (since she doesnt have a car and I do) she can only do it if it is by her house. I had no other choice, I couldnt quit the next day, so I agreed very reluctantly. it was insane and sickening to have to wake up my sleeping newborn at freezing cold dark hours of the morning, get him dressed, strapped in a car, to bring to somoenes house, freezing cold, and then expect him to be ok and comfortable. I had to lug bottles everywhere, diapers, clothes to be changed (which of course, couldtn be thrown into a washing machine whenever they were dirty, but had to be brought home at the end of each day), it was a nightmare. her house was a wreck and it freaked me out. then, (even though the reason I was paying her a premium was so that she could 100% devote herself to my baby and only babysit him), she decided to take on another kid. who knows if he was sick, if he had his shots, or what. that was the last straw. and she actually had the chutzpah to be upset at me that I was pulling out mid year and ruining her parnossah. we had an agreement a contract. that she would come to my house, and only watch him. yeah right.
still apprehensive to get someone frei, I found another frum woman. well, every other week she had something. had to leave early, showed up late for a doctors appt, called me in themiddle of the day for an emergency, etc. and she also, sat on her tush, didnt do one iota of anything, didnt even clean his bottles, I would come home to piles of them in the sink (and I have a milchig dishwasher. at least throw them in there! it takes like 0 seconds of work!). washing his clothes? forget it. very bare bones basic. and she was not loving at all.
my DH and I had long discussions about the situation. and also about the fact that we were paying 100 dollars a week for a polish cleaning lady, on top of full time babysitting, which was insane, considering alot of the stuff she was doing WAS laundry, which could be done by a babysitter, and in our opinion should have been. eventually, we decided to try someone new, it was a babysitter that one of my aunts had used for about 10 years, but her youngest just started school and she didnt need anyone full time anymore. well, we absolutely fell in love with her. since she had worked for frum people for 20+ years, she knew her way around my kithcne, no need to warn her about which sink the bottles go into, or what not to touch, or that she absolutely cannot make herself a scrambled egg for breakfast. she sings modeh ani with my kids when they wake up and teaches them spanish. yes, its not perfect, but she loves my kids, takes perfect care of them (I know this because I had a nannycam for 2 years in the beginning, first in the kitchen, then in one bedroom, then in another, I kept moving it around to see), and on top of all that, she keeps my house sparkling clean!
so sometimes the answer is not so simple, yes, ideally someone frum is "better," but if they are going to lie to you and force you to bring ur kids to them, and sit all day and not do any cleaning, it just ends up being a waste of x and $. |
Thanks for taking your time to post your story, showing that it can work..
My polish lady is not experienced in babysitting but has kids of her own (they are grown up already) and likes kids.
She is familiar with my house and knows the difference of fleishig and milchigs and which side of my kitchen is which...
I'm just so hoping this should work out! |
no problem. I wasnt going to post, but when someone said oh its terrible you are considering hiring someone non jewish I really felt the need to post my experience. which I am seeing from this thread is not unusual. maybe it is different in E"Y (because a bigger percentage of society in general, is jewish) but in the US I find it to work this way. Jewish women (esp frum ones) think its below them to do someones laundry, wash their dishes etc.
and BTW, she has kids of her own you say? she obviously raised them somehow right!! so obviously she is very experienced in babysitting (no offense -but probably more experienced than you- because your kid is a baby hers are all grown up!) dont worry 
I think her being famliar and her being able to handle cleaning and babysitting is a big maylah and you should just be happy!
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 12:42 pm
| amother wrote: | | Ours are from wilife.com. They go through the computer and can be watched while you are at work (over the internet). However, they don't have audio. |
Is this what you have?
http://www.wilife.com/Products......aspx
are you happy w/ it? is the price right?
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 3:56 pm
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We have the regular, not hidden. I think the first was around $350 with the set-up kit and the second was less. We are extremely happy with them.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 09 2009, 4:00 pm
| amother wrote: | | We have the regular, not hidden. I think the first was around $350 with the set-up kit and the second was less. We are extremely happy with them. |
how long do you have it? Somebody just told me it's of inferior quality & will break down.
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