Leaving baby home with a (nanny?) while at work...

bandcm

Thu, Jan 14 2010, 11:56 am

Merrymom wrote:

It amazes me how many people will leave their most precious possessions with their cleaning women or other non-Jewish workers saying how much they trust them. If you trust them so much would you also leave all your jewelry and diamond ring with this woman too because that kind of trust most of you apparently don't have.

I'll never forget the time when the I walked into the room where my cleaning woman (who was my mother's before me so we're talking a million years) was letting my little daughter play with the cross around her neck. I also wonder how you know if the woman doesn't decide to take your daughter out to McDonald's since she finds it tastier (and cheaper so she can keep the difference in the money you gave her to spend) than the kosher place when she goes out to the park.

Why in the world did you allow her to work in your house wearing a cross? It's entirely your fault.
I always ask our maids to leave the cross at home next time. I am polite and respectful. And they are not even taking care of my children. I don 't want someone cleaning my toilets with a cross around her neck, either.
The cook in our Chabad house bought a magen david necklace instead, and wears it proudly every day.

amother

Fri, Jan 15 2010, 7:38 am

PinkFridge wrote:

amother wrote:

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your advice about Yom Kippur is just...offensive. I do not think my baby needs the "holiness of the day" of yom kippur being in shul with me. Our kids come to shul with us when they are old enough for it to be appropriate (ie, when they are of the age that they can be in a childrens program or can sit quietly in shul for more than 5 minutes at a time). But an infant or 2 year old (the two I left home this year with the nanny for example) have no reason to be in shul, not to mention we do not go by the eiruv in our neighborhood!

PLEASE DO NOT THINK I AM BASHING YOU! But - deep breath - here goes:
It is very possible that what will be the absolute best for your kids and family is for your life to run smoothly. That could very well mean having your nanny around as an extra pair of hands even when you're not working. And I will not discount the effect of a meaningful Yom Kippur on the rest of your year, or a chance to recharge your batteries.

Now I don't know how long you're in shul on Yom Kippur (or if, as I do, you want to go for Yizkor). But I know that my kids got a LOT from my NOT going to shul on Yom Kippur. We treated the day like any yom tov - treats, a new toy, etc. We didn't use the eruv either, so it was only on R"H that we got to the playground too (until the baby was able to walk; I did NOT use my older girls as babysitters so I could daven, other than for Yizkor). Again, having the nanny around to take the kids out, or watch the kids for an hour or two while you're out - I don't think any sane person should have an issue with that, especially considering your schedule and the need to recharge batteries. But I really, really hope that you spend significant chunks of time in your kids' company on these days, and don't relegate them to the nanny till they're old enough to join you in shul.

I hear what you are saying, but my 2 year old (now is 2, at the time was 1.5) is just now starting to understand what "shabbos" is, he has no clue what yom kippur or yom tov even is! and certainly did not at 1.5. no I do not go to shul from 6 in the morning (when davening starts in our shul) til after neilah. I take the older 2 when they are ready to go, meaning get dressed and ready for shul like any other shabbos. usually around mussaf time. they play, they daven with other kids, they go back and forth from me to DH, enjoy birkas kohanim, eat snacks, etc. we went home after Mussaf, and I came back for Neilah.
"Teaching" the younger two about yom tov is meaningless, they are babies!! I hear your point, but yes for me YK is an important day to recharge MY OWN batteries like you said, and I have to weigh my needs against the needs of my kids. so I DO relegate them to the nanny. why? because my infant didn't need me any more on yom kippur then erev yom kippur or yesterday or whatever, so I dont feel the least bit guilty about leaving him w/ the same loving and happy and responsible nanny he is w/ all wk long. If I was a SAHM who specifically hired a babysitter (and obviously a non jewish one cuz where would you find a jewish babysitter specifically for YK and how would that be ok halachically anyway), an unfamiliar new woman to stay home with my kids so I could get out, I understand how that scenario is different.

Ps ur post is not writtenin a bashing way I did not think you are bashing at all.
"self hating jews" amother is clearly here only to bash.