do you sleep with your baby?

freidasima

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 4:13 pm

Gold, very simply because most of the women I was writing about were either not working on dangerous jobs where being tired could cost them their lives, or if they were home there was always a possibility to lie down for half an hour while the latest baby was sleeping.

On the other hand, I am not talking about asituation where the men are learning. None of the men in question, or in most of my circle learned after marriage, they all worked. And many were blue collar workers while their children were small, only working themselves up to something less physical when they were in their 40s. One worked in the electric department putting together large generators hundreds of feet above ground. One slip, due to tiredness and he would be dead. Another worked in a lumberyard and worked a chain saw. One slip due to tiredness and zap, no fingers, etc. etc.

Not what you are used to maybe but in my generation not at all uncommon. And just goes to show whomever here loves to keep saying that "my circle" are a bunch of academics and professionals...its not exactly like that, I had many girlfriends who married blue collar workers. Once upon a time in EY, thirty to forty years ago, it was very common.

chavamom

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 5:38 pm

Of the (frum) vocal proponents of co-sleeping that I know, one is a physician and the other monitors satellite photos for the gov't. No, they won't fall off a ladder, but I'd hate for them to be sleeping on the job.

pobody's nerfect

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 6:26 pm

amother wrote:

the odds of a mother rolling over herbaby are much lower than you would think. the smell of the baby triggers a response in the mothers olfactory pathways that causes her to sleep less deeply. doesnt apply to fathers though.

I dunno, I always think about the story with shlomo hamelech where the two women were fighting over one baby and he said to chop the baby in half. the guilty mother had rolled over her baby and smothered him.

gold21

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 7:06 pm

I dont think its safe to nurse a baby, when you are that sleep deprived, in a rocking chair, to avoid nursing in bed. im sure there have unfortunately been incidents from exhausted moms dropping off to sleep in the rocking chair while nursing the baby, and rockabye baby down he goes.

Hodu Lashem

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 7:23 pm

I haven't read this whole thread, but here is my take.

I have done both co-sleeping with baby and putting them in the crib to sleep.

If you are worried about the possibility of rolling over onto your baby, it really depends on you. If you know that you are a very deep sleeper and tend to move around in your sleep it may not be a good idea. That is not my problem. I don't move around much when I sleep, and since I became a mother I wake up pretty easily, though I don't consider myself a light sleeper. I mean, the baby cries or toddler calls out, I am automatically awake. I have even woken up in middle of the night to a baby crying, just to realize "Hey, that can't be my child." It was my neighbor's baby!

It also depends on your baby. My last one began to wake up within minutes of putting her into the crib - every time! The only way that she or I could get some sleep was to co-sleep. It really is very convenient. It's just the transition to getting them out of your bed that is the biggest problem to me.

Tova

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 8:11 pm

Truthfully, my babies as newborns loved sleeping in my bed. They drifted off within seconds and slept very well. Much better than any crib or bassinet. But, I did not enjoy it because I only felt safe if they were in the crook of my arm and I woke up with a very sore arm. Solution was sometimes to have them sleep on my stomach, but it meant I couldn't sleep on my side which is my prefered position. The snuggling aspect was great but I could not get decent sleep.

Curious for all the co-sleepers out there - did you have these issues? If so, do you have a solution?

chavamom

Tue, Nov 10 2009, 10:11 pm

gold21 wrote:

Wasn't it Reb. Shain that posted she did that? Her mother had scared her so badly about "never take the baby in your bed" and she woke up in the rocking chair with the baby on the floor.

Inspired

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 4:47 am

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

beilariva

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 7:38 am

Inspired wrote:

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

How horrible! In the rocking chair or bed? Was she very fat or on medication?

gryp

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 9:02 am

I remembered last night (while cosleeping) that babies became permanent in my bed each winter, since we don't get much heat at night, and it was either that or paying enormous electricity bills. Or putting the baby to sleep in a snowsuit.
I chose the one that made the most sense.

Inspired

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 9:17 am

beilariva wrote:

Inspired wrote:

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

How horrible! In the rocking chair or bed? Was she very fat or on medication?

In a chair. She slumped forward over the baby and woke up the baby was no longer breathing.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 9:38 am

GR wrote:

That would increase the risk of SIDS. I think you chose wisely Smile

mommalah

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 10:06 am

I co-sleep with my babies until they are btw 6-8 months old. At that point they are usually too active to remain in bed with me and I wake up with all sorts of aches and pains as a result. They go into a crib in another room.

chavamom

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 2:24 pm

Inspired wrote:

beilariva wrote:

Inspired wrote:

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

How horrible! In the rocking chair or bed? Was she very fat or on medication?

In a chair. She slumped forward over the baby and woke up the baby was no longer breathing.

It happened in a hospital I worked in too - woman sitting up to feed her baby and dozed off. Yes, the woman was very obese - the baby smothered from her breast across its face.

beilariva

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 3:53 pm

chavamom wrote:

Inspired wrote:

beilariva wrote:

Inspired wrote:

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

How horrible! In the rocking chair or bed? Was she very fat or on medication?

In a chair. She slumped forward over the baby and woke up the baby was no longer breathing.

It happened in a hospital I worked in too - woman sitting up to feed her baby and dozed off. Yes, the woman was very obese - the baby smothered from her breast across its face.

Speechless! May it never have to happen again!!!

onlyme

Wed, Nov 11 2009, 3:57 pm

Inspired wrote:

gold21 wrote:

I had a friend whose grandmother smothered a baby that way.

I've heard of someone who smothered the baby in her bed. Horrible. May it never happen to anyone, ever.
(I'm not blaming the co-sleeping ch"v. I sleep with my baby sometimes too.)