Tips Wanted for dealing with 2 kids under 2

Alef Bais

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:06 pm

Dear Mothers of two kids under the age of two,

I have joined your ranks for the first time ever, brief as my stay may be (for my toddler will be 2 before the end of the month.) Still, I'm sure your coping tips will come in handy even after I no longer fall within your ranks. Please pass your tips my way. I will take any and all I can get!

My toddler is like a magnet to my newborn! He is all excited about her, tries to share his food with her, his toys and even take her hands to 'dance with her' and rock her infant seat. I am petrified whenever he goes near her! I have seen him climb into her bassinet (she was thankfully not in it at the time). He tries to pick her up. And of course he turns over my house when he's not trying to turn over his sister. He is not in a playgroup at this time.

How do you stay sane?

octopus

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:09 pm

I had two under two for a short period of time. My kids are 18 months apart. What kept me sane was that I have one room on the main floor completely gated off. If I needed to put my daughter down, I put her in the pack n' play behind the gate- where my son couldn't get to her. In the beginning, I had them napping at different times, because I couldn't handle the both of them up. as I keep on remembering things I will post...

Twizzlers

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:25 pm

yep, I did it too. mine are also 18 months apart. honestly, I dont know how I survived it. it was really tough and those 6 months are like a blur to me. but definitely keep them separated. in the beginning, I always had the baby in my room with the door closed unless he needed to be fed, or the older one was napping. I relied majorly on those naps. that was when the baby had his tummy time, his mommy time etc. I'd take them both out and have the toddler run around the park or just outside so he would be tired enough to nap. also the highchair was a big help - for the older one, that is.

when I did have to deal with the 2 of them up, I found that sitting on the floor alot helped. in other words, if I sat on the floor to nurse the baby and built a tower with the toddler with my other hand, they were ok. once I got up to sit on the couch or chair, the toddler felt neglected. but whenever I sat on the floor, he felt like I was right with him and didnt need to compete for attention.

and when I allowed the toddler to interact with the baby he was so thrilled, I really played on that. we did alot of pushing the stroller around the house (with mommy's help), making nice, putting a soft toy in his lap to play with...

and of course when all else fails, there's always the Uncle Moishy CDs Twisted Evil

HATZLACHA and it does get easier!
and if you want to come over here and take a breather while the kids play, you're more than welcome! Very Happy

Twizzlers

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:27 pm

oh, and about staying sane.....

one thing I did that really helped; in the evenings when at least the toddler was in bed for the nite, I went out for an hour or two by myself. sometimes I went shopping, sometimes I just sat in the car doing nothing, but it was my time to unwind. (thank you dh!)

octopus

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:33 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

I signed up with a gym and I used to look forward to the 3x a week where I went out without any kids and had time to myself. The thought of being by myself also kept me sane during the day.

mummiedearest

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:35 pm

mine are 14 months apart. fortunately, they're both toddlers now. or should I say unfortunately? I think it's way harder now...

keep older child as occupied as possible. stickers are great. give a child some stickers, and he'll be quiet for at least five minutes. as long as his younger sister isn't stealing them from him, that is...
play a game with him. name a body part and have him put a sticker there. come up with games like this that allow you to sit nursing the baby and keep both his hands busy. I just came across magic pen activity books in a local pharmacy. great for the near-two-year-old. and it won't leave ink on the walls. new books are good. rides on your legs while you nurse are good exercise. get some new children's music and encourage your son to dance. dance with him when you can. try to introduce quiet time as part of your day.

one thing that is essential to maintaining some semblance of sanity: a schedule. if your son is not on a schedule, make one now, and stick to it! half the schedule may be letting him play with whatever he wants. that's fine. but you need to have nap times, mealtimes, and bedtime regular. no occasional late bedtimes.

about touching baby, it might be most effective to allow him to touch the baby's toes. if he can understand that he can touch only the toes he may not be so interested in flipping her over. if you freak out anytime he touches the baby he'll probably be more interested in touching her.

chaylizi

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:43 pm

my youngest two are 19 months apart. as a newborn I kep my baby either in the car seat on the dining room table or in the swing in my bedroom. if he was downstairs, I had my toddler coloring in her highchair or safely ensconsed in her playard (not a playpen). I also was able to gate off my den & sit in the other room with the baby, but still be able to watch her play. just never leave your baby alone with your toddler for even a second.

Aribenj

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:49 pm

Get your older one a doll for him/her to feed/change while you feed/change your baby. It makes them feel very grown up and keeps the new baby safe.

Also, if you can keep the 2 kids in separate rooms, or keep the baby in your room and put your 2 year old in his/her own room, then their sleeping patterns won't interfere and you'll have 2 non-cranky kids during the day.

Wake up BEFORE them. It's nuts, but it really helps. I used to set my alarm clock at 5, shower, get dressed, check my emails, get DD's lunch box ready for daycare, then I'd hear DS waking up, I'd go feed him and dress him, and by then it was 6:30 - 7 and DD would be waking up.

BABYPROOF EVERYTHING. It's easier for a 18-24 month old to get in trouble when you're busy with a little one.

And finally a dose of reality: The first 6 months are TOUGH. I'm not gonna lie to you. Once the baby learns to sit, your older one will realize they're a real person and it will get easier. Then when the baby starts walking, they'll start getting along. And once the baby is talking, they'll be best friends, which is awesome because they can entertain each other, but it also means there will be bickering and fighting. But I guess that's the fun of parenthood...

mummiedearest

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 10:59 pm

I also suggest that you nurse on schedule, not "on demand." it's hard to tell what the baby wants when there's a toddler around to distract you. don't nurse the baby if you don't have to. nursing on schedule will help the baby learn to sleep through the night at a reasonable time, rather than at over a year. I had to sleep train my daughter at ten months cause I couldn't deal with no nap. she was snacking frequently instead of having full meals at normal intervals. I had to fix the nursing schedule before she could learn to nap. naptime is your savior. don't mess with naptime.

patriot

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 11:04 pm

this should give you something to look forward to-- I dont remember! I simply dont know what I did...nor do I remember my coping tips from last summer when it became three under 2.5 keh. grin it and bear it, and remember to count your blessings often!

zigi

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 11:11 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

lol! so true! today was a crazy day! as soon as the kids went to sleep. I did some errands. it was nice getting out of the house by myself and it was quiet without any kvetching.

raizy

Wed, Mar 11 2009, 11:28 pm

hahah alef u must rember my gang of 3 under 2 etc. when my oldest dropped a hard ball on my infant nose . she still has a mark from it... I wonder if she will ever heal from it.

but in real life it was like having triplets all at once. and then my oldest turned 3 and went to cheder.

yfrh

Thu, Mar 12 2009, 3:19 pm

I remember having girls 16 months apart . I would go for walks often during the day.

It was easier to take care of girls behavoir than boys energy to deal with. when my son was born I struggled dealing with his high energy and my girls helped soo much.

amother

Mon, Mar 16 2009, 9:45 am

My kids are 14 months apart. I am going INSANE. I live in a cramped apartment so there isn't much space for my older daughter (she is now 21 months old) to play and she gets bored of her toys the day after I get them so I stopped buying her new stuff. I cant afford to send her to playgroup so she runs around a bothers me and the baby (currently 7 months old) all day. When I nurse the baby she knows that I cant run after her so that is when she makes all her trouble. She eats anything I give her, crayons, stickers, paper, books, cardboard puzzles... She climbs into, onto and out of everything. Her highchair, crib, pack n play. She climbs on the table, chairs, couch, beds, dresser, u name it she's climbed it. A few weeks ago she climbed on the table and drank a whole cup of wine before anyone can realize what she was doing. The only thing that keeps her in one place is videos. I know everyone agrees that children under 2 shouldnt watch anything but that is the ONLY thing that works.
If anyone out there has any better ideas that you think may possibly work I'd love to hear them.

frootloops

Mon, Mar 16 2009, 11:20 am

The warm weather should make things much easier as toddlers are usually better behaved outside. DD #1 was 18 months when I had DD #2. THankfully it was the summer so we spent hours and hours outside doing everything. I brought out blocks and legos aside from all the outside toys and my baby stayed or slept in her stroller. Even the next summer when my kids were 1 and 2 1/2 and my younger one wasn't walking just being outside made everything easier.

As for remaining sane- I don't think it's possible:) But soemhow we all survive these hard years

mamacita

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 1:21 am

Have the older child do things for the younger. Giving helps to create feelings of love. Baby gates, highchairs, strollers, play pens, cribs, use em and keep the young one from being squished! lol. DS got tummy time when dd was napping, eating, or somehow otherwise occupied.

Hatzlacha! it def gets easier when they are on the same page! Now mine are 1.5 & 2.5 and it's like they are twins, B"H.