upsherenish: cater or cook?

gryp

Mon, May 25 2009, 10:11 am

Absolutely. We made 4 brissin, buying bagels and spreads and putting it out ourselves. But that's not the point in this situation. I completely understand someone wanting to leave the headache to the caterers- especially setup and cleanup- so the hostess has time to see her guests. I know what it's like to be so busy in the kitchen, you don't even know who came to your simcha.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:16 pm

YESHASettler wrote:

MeThinks wrote:

A catered upsheren? What will his bar mitzvah look like? And the wedding? Colors

Funny, our older son's Brit was catered (Erev Shavuot) and we actually went with bagels and platters...

Our second son's Brit, we simply bought 3 dozen bagels and made the platters ourselves. It was a FRACTION of the cost and not that labor intensive.

If you're looking to save money, do it yourself and make it buffet so you don't have to work and can enjoy the party.

A bris is not an upsheren. A bris is a seudas mitzvah and an upsheren is not.

Anyhow, mazel tov Mama-Star. May you have lots of yiddish nachas from him and may he grow up a big talmid chochom.

gryp

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:25 pm

Okay, I should have written, it's more common in Lubavitch to serve a meal, and not just cake.

My last upsheren was small too and I'll bet the next time it'll be something similar. The birthdays just don't come out at a convenient time for people to come in.

cookielady

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:27 pm

Ours were very large dessert buffets. I had a blast baking all sorts of things that usually I would never make. It was a lot of work. If it were something I was doing now, I would probably go with a brunch sort of thing.

Whatever you do, Mazel Tov!

Raisin

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:45 pm

GR wrote:

IIRC, from the Chaseedishe posters describing the upsherens they made, in Lubavitch it's done quite a bit differently. We serve meals, not just cake.

not in my experience. I don't think there are any rules - we served little sandwiches and desserts (teatime) at our last one.

you can only do a brunch if it is on sunday (or all your guests are retired or out of work) otherwise it needs to be in the evening.

Twoisacharm

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:53 pm

I did a buffet with hot foods and a dessert table and had ppl standing and sitting - it went on for hours so the food was definately necessary and enjoyed - think about the type of party/people that you are going to host and decide that way....maybe it will be best catered if you arent the type of person who enjoys standing, cooking and baking for hours?!?!?!?

wtvr

Mon, May 25 2009, 12:59 pm

GR wrote:

IIRC, from the Chaseedishe posters describing the upsherens they made, in Lubavitch it's done quite a bit differently. We serve meals, not just cake.

Not necessarily. I've been to several dessert buffet, ice cream party, etc., upsherens. I even attended one in the park with peckelach for the kids, and donuts for adults. All were Lubavitchers.

Oh, and one of my brothers had his haircut at Shacharis, and I think there may have been Kichelech and herring, but I don't remember. (It was a long time ago.) One of my brothers had a sit-down dinner.
So it all depends. I think pple do meals, because that's what e/o else is doing...

Mama-star, how many pple are you having? If you really want to cook, but don't want to be running around the whole time, etc. you can hire a waiter to serve, etc. It'll come out cheaper than catering.

I did that for my son's upsherin- cooked (Fleishig buffet). I had a waiter taking care of things at the actual event.

Also, another thing to keep in mind, in general when it comes to catering, is that sometimes it pays to by things "by the tray" as opposed to catering per person.

gryp

Mon, May 25 2009, 1:12 pm

I corrected myself, I shouldn't have generalized what people do. Although ideally, if you look in the Sefer Haminhagim, the upsheren is supposed to be done in a shul and not just a bite of cake in someone's house or donuts in a park.

wtvr

Mon, May 25 2009, 1:19 pm

GR,

Now that you mention it, if I remember correctly, there should be a seudah on the day of the "areinfirenish". You're right.

But, interestingly, I just looked it up on chabad.org, because I don't remember and this is what it says for upsherin.

"The Venue:

An upsherin is traditionally a modest event, usually held at home or in a local synagogue. Light refreshments and hors d'oeuvres are the standard fare. "

wtvr

Mon, May 25 2009, 1:21 pm

At the end of the areinfirenish customs it says:

"In the evening, it is customary for the family to hold a celebratory feast."

I guess because many do it together, or same day/next day, it's more of an inyan to have a meal.

gryp

Mon, May 25 2009, 3:06 pm

http://www.sichosinenglish.org.....3.htm

That's the Kovetz Minhagim. The point in me mentioning that it should be done in shul was to show that we do it differently, it's not something done with the wife in the kitchen.

It says in the link that some mark the occasion with a celebratory feast, or serve pastries and Lchaims at the very least.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Tue, May 26 2009, 3:00 pm

GR wrote:

http://www.sichosinenglish.org/books/upsherinish/03.htm

That's the Kovetz Minhagim. The point in me mentioning that it should be done in shul was to show that we do it differently, it's not something done with the wife in the kitchen.

It says in the link that some mark the occasion with a celebratory feast, or serve pastries and Lchaims at the very least.

This is a Chabad minhag but not the minhag generally where the upsheren is done at home and lekech and bronfen and some light refreshments served. After the upsheren the child is brought to cheder wrapped in a talis.

gryp

Tue, May 26 2009, 3:08 pm

Yes, that's what I thought and posted. Which is why some people probably couldn't understand why an upsheren could be catered. Mama-star is Lubavitch so I assumed she does it according our minhag.