using a name not "in" in your community

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:50 am

I think our families were worried we'd 'go settler' on them and name our boys some obscure name from the Tanach, a trend that has become very popular among the DL settler crowd.

I'm less worried about what the neighbors think about my kid's name. To me, if the name 'speaks to me', and my husband agrees to it, we'll use it.

grace413

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 4:57 am

I'm MO with a yiddish name. I was mercilessly teased about my name as a child, but almost any name can be made fun of if people want.

When I first started out on the internet and used my real name, people assumed that I was ultra-Orthodox/Chassidish.

And after all that, I named my daughter after my grandmother - first name yiddish, middle name classic Hebrew. At home we call her by the yiddish name, at school she uses the Hebrew. Seems to coping ok.

Raisin

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 5:08 am

louche wrote:

Imaonwheels wrote:

Knowing a lot of BTs I know a lot of Benyamin Zeevs who are named after grandparents who were named after Hertzl. Really not popular among many charedi groups but Zeide deserves it.

Say WHAT???? Binyamin Zev, or Zev Wulf, or Velvel, or Binyamin velvel--all the same person, depending on whether you're looking at his bris record, municipal birth registration, passport, tombstone, son's tombstone, or something else, was a very popular and common name among fervently observant Lithuanian Jews way before Hertzl was so much as a gleam in his poppa's eye. Yeesh! and for the record, Menachem mendel was also a very popular Jewish combo way before Lubavitcher chassidus was a gleam in anyone's eye. Yeah, once upon a time even misnagdim used the name.

Mneachem Mendel is a very popular name among other chassidic groups, (there was more then one well know Rebbe with that name) and I know a shneur Zalman who has no lubavitch roots that he knows of.

One of my relatives called her kid after a relative who passed away tragically young. It is not a very chareidi name, especially since they even used the same nick name. they got one or two comments, but most people know why they used that name.

I do think it is sad when people are ashamed to use Hebrew (not yiddish, I understand that) names in frum circles. (eg Moshe, as opposed to Josh or Dave), as someone wrote in another thread.

My kids have weird yiddish names in a not frum school. As someone said, some of those names souind quite trendy nowadays (kayla, Shayna) and who cares anyway? It is so normal now to have offbeat names.

mominisrael2

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 5:40 am

Mrs.K wrote:

Growing up, there were about 80 people in my school with the same name as me. My children's names are much more unique, and I really don't care that their grandfather's name will mean that they are the only child in their class with that name. Being one of so many was annoying, to say the least.

My brother and I both had the same problem with too-common names -- we went to a small day school with only about 20 kids in each grade (10 boys and 10 girls), and both of us shared our name with THREE other kids in each of our classes! My kids ended up with common names in English which was annoying when we lived in the States, but their Hebrew names are not so much in Israel...

mominisrael2

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 5:53 am

sim wrote:

I don't think there's anything wrong with using an underused name as long as it's not the kind of name that makes you the target of unkindness as a child. How would you like to be a "ganesha" in a crowd of "ataras" ,"ayelets", and "yaels"? How would you like to be "barkochba" in a yeshiva full of "chaims" and "yaakovs"? It's not how you'll feel. It's how your child will feel.

When your baby is born how do you know what other names are going to end up in the kid's classroom five years down the road, though?? In my community (which I suspect is a common thing in Israel!), the parents seem to compete for who can think of the MOST unique name, so if one other person gives their baby the same name that year, it's already too common! Smile

(I'm pretty sure I'm next in line in terms of neighborhood births, so I think I'm OK with the name I picked for my next baby, LOL...)

RachelEve14

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 7:33 am

mominisrael2 wrote:

sim wrote:

(I'm pretty sure I'm next in line in terms of neighborhood births, so I think I'm OK with the name I picked for my next baby, LOL...)

You aren't next there is at least 1 person I can think of before you Tongue Out

All my kids have classic Hebrew names that are not very common here, but certainly not "unique" names.

Seraph

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 8:19 am

My name is a modern hebrew name, and living in a chareidi community I often feel uncomfortable about that. My son has a name that doesn't "go" in our community. We decided that our next kid will have a name that can go in all circles, so that its not something that'll stick out too much, like my name or my son's name.

hadasa

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 10:23 am

Imaonwheels wrote:

Knowing a lot of BTs I know a lot of Benyamin Zeevs who are named after grandparents who were named after Hertzl. Really not popular among many charedi groups but Zeide deserves it.

The combo Binyamin Ze'ev (Wolf) goes together because the wolf is the symbol of Shevet Binyamin.
Like Yehudah Aryeh Leib or Naftali Tzvi Hirsh.

shayna82

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 1:25 pm

greenfire wrote:

why on earth would you let other people influence how you name your child ?!?!?!

exactly my thoughts. same thinking when asked why I send one of my kids to the non lubavitch school- I could care less what the community thinks, I do whats best for my son at this specific time. why do I care what other people think?

bbmom

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 2:03 pm

My name is pretty common in Chassidish circles but not at all common in Lubavitch. It's Yiddish name and it's not really common at all in other communities (yeshivish, MO). I was always the only one with my name in school, camp, in all my circles of friends, etc. and it never bothered me. DH's name is waaaay uncommon in my community - it fits much better with MO or Israeli circles. It's doubtful that we of all people would be concerned that our child's name should "fit in."

The funny thing is that we named our child Chaya Mushka which is so common in Lubavitch it's almost generic. I'm not the least bit worried about her individuality and I'm sure she'll take pride in her name as soon as she knows how.

Rodent

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 4:34 pm

Seraph wrote:

Rodent wrote:

Gosh, we specifically use names that AREN'T in common usage, who wants to be one of many? We don't name after people but for meaning so full flexibility. Who cares what other people think? I actually think that following naming trends and only naming after people (which is fine if it's what you want to do but I don't like the pressure that you MUST) cuts out so many great names that deserve some exposure...

Hi Rodent. I know you. Tongue Out

I saw zevulun yissachar and said "Hey, if that isnt my friend..."

I recognised the photo of your son Smile

Atali

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 4:35 pm

To me it would depend on how unusual.

As nice as it sounds to say "I don't care what others think" your child might not feel the same way when being teased by the other kids.

My DH has a very unusual and somewhat hard to pronounce name from Tanach, which would probably go over great for a DL kid living in Yesha, but didn't go over so well for a Chabad kid in Australia. Although he likes his name now, he was teased as a child.

I do think that a somewhat unusual name is fine, but not one that is so unusual that the kid will likely get teased for it.