A rough beginning-need support

hinda

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 11:08 am

Hi everyone,
I agve birht to my twins three short weeks ago.BH everyone is healthya nd I am healing well from my c section. My biggest issue is my nursing.I ahd terrible lactation support in the hospital,came home and had a breast infection and then had a bad case of anxiety -which os hopefully behind me-thta reqwuired me to take Xanax and pump and dump milk for 48 hours.My pumping hasnt been great at all,but now I am so torn as to whether to nurse and put in all the effort for a couple of ounces of my milk or to give it all up.is it possible to rebuild a milk supply at week number 3?? I love nursing and did so sucessfully for almost 2 years with my older child-so please help.Also,anyone deal with postpartum anxiety when you ahd your multiples/whatd you find helpful?/

Hodu Lashem

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 1:13 pm

hinda wrote:

Yes, it can be overwhelming! It helped me alot to just give up some of the housework and try not to care. Ex: just use plastic and don't let dishes pile up in the sink. Another thing, I thought I needed to bathe them everyday just like in the hospital. Bathing them every other day was just fine, too! You can alternate days for each or I just found it easier to do them both on the same day. (Unless one had a really yucky messy diaper!) I did nurse both my babies for around 18 months and for the first 6 mos exclusively, but they were my first, so I didn't have to deal with any other children and was just able to concentrate on them. I always nursed them together using a nursing pillow. I think you can build up your milk supply, but just nurse as much as possible and drink alot. Pumping is never as efficient as the babies are, so don't get discouraged about how much milk you think you are producing. Just go according to if the babies seem satisfied or not.

Hope that helps and MAZEL TOV!!! Enjoy those delicious little ones! That is the most important thing!

hinda

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 6:01 pm

I am oot,so not in Flatbush at all.

I am nursing one and swithcing at each feeding to the other girl,but realize that the one who has formula sleeps longer than the one I nursed the last time,so what should I do>The lactation lady-who was somewhat of a disaster-told me I should nurse then pump after each session,but thats tiring too.I am feeding them formula at night,and then pumping.I just cannot do it al-im very overwhelmed ;(
Forget dishes in the sinks,Im not trying to keep up with anything much and mny dh has been home pretty much full time all these days being my right hand.I have friends who ahve offered to come,but some are helpful,others arent and I never know when to schedule ppl to come.I find it hard to sleep and rest when people are in my house even whne my girls are asleep.HELP,
My anxiety was at bay for a couple of days,I hope what I am starting to feel now is nOt its ugly return Sad

Thanks anyone and everyone for the support.I need it so much right now!!

Chani

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 6:42 pm

Okay, everybody can throw rotten tomatoes at me, but I'm going to give my honest opinion, having been there with twins.

I tried to nurse for a few weeks. I really did. And I was exhausted, never had a moment for my other kids because I was nursing around the clock and could not get any sleep because they were never full enough. So after about a month I gave up, switched to formula and I have never for one second had any regrets. They were happier, I was happier, and the rest of the family was happier.

That was my experience with it.

bnm

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 7:37 pm

Chani wrote:

everyone is different-my sis in law, a sahm of twins with 3 older ones stopped nursing after 2 weeks, my neighbor, a working mother of 7 K"H nursed and supplemented with preemie formula till they where a year, 1 of them even longer.

myfriends715

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 7:40 pm

Chani wrote:

yup I agree!! there was no way I was able to nurse/pump etc past the 1st month and after I stopped nursing I felt a lot better

Hodu Lashem

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 7:43 pm

I wouldn't do the nursing and then pumping. No wonder you are tired out! Also, I was told that formula takes longer to digest than your milk and it is not unusual for babies to digest mother's milk faster.

But maybe Chani is right. For your own sanity you might want to just use formula OR decide to do half and half - nurse them as much as you can and then supplement with bottles.

When I had my twins, I was able to devote myself to the nursing fully, with my husband's help and no other kids demanding my attention. Your situation is different. If I were you, in order to avoid feeling guilty, I would do the half-and-half thing. It will make your life a lot easier and protect your mental health.

hinda

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 8:15 pm

What im afraid you dont understand is that I am doing the 50/50 thing=or even less than fifty percent nursing already.My left breast ahd an infection after I got home from the hospital and when I was in the hospital there was no lactation support since one person was on vacationa nd the other was in an accident. So,my left side is producing only minimally.I am almost 40 and went through infertility and ivf.Im told that hormonal imbalances before pregnancy often come with more postpartum issues and difficulties.Did anyone else have that experience? I am thinking of quitting entirely.Is there nay way at all to just pump instead of nurisng and just give them bottles?? I find the pumping far less tiring but doing the poor nursinga nd then pumping and getting an ounce or two is making me nuts.I am SO SO sad thats omething I believe in SO whole heartedly and ashamedly admit judging others for not doing,has become my biggest struggle right now ;(((

Mommy3.5

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 9:01 pm

hinda wrote:

Call Rivky Schwartz in BP, I know your OOT, but she is available for phone consultations, her number is 718 851-9729. She is really the best there is.

Also, PM bas Hinda, I think she nursed triplets, she may be able to give you some tips.

(hug) You really are doing your best, and if you decide to go to formula, you have to know that you made a great effort, sometimes things do not work as planned, and its ok.

Hodu Lashem

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 9:29 pm

hinda wrote:

Try calling the lactation consultant Mommy 3.5 recommends and see how that works out.

And if it doesn't work out DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! You are trying your best, and that is all that any of us can do. You sound like a loving mother who went through a lot to have these little ones. Remember, you must also take care of yourself to be a good Mommy. Between a c-section, breast infection, PP issues, twins and a older child to take care of, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate to handle right now. If what the lactation consultant says doesn't work out for you, give them the formula with a free conscience that you tried everything, it did't work, and this is what's best for everyone. Hug

Motheroftwins

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 9:56 pm

My twins were born 6 weeks early, at 3 lb each. I did not have the option to nurse them because the NICU wanted them on high calorie formula from the beginning. I found that it worked out well for us because that way people were able to help us with the feedings, we were able to measure exactly how much both babies were drinkings, and since they were drinking approx. the same amount, they ended up on the same schedule VERY FAST which helped us keep our sanity. OP - where r u located?

the world's best mom

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 10:17 pm

Is it necessary to make a final decision now? Maybe you can call the lactation consultant, and nurse as much as you can, for as long as it works for you, and see if it picks up. Your milk supply may pick up and enable you to nurse half the time, and if it doesn't, you can still enjoy nursing while it lasts. If you are not stressed about making this decision, it may be easier to keep it going. It is overwhelming to deal with infections and decreased milk supply and all else that twins give you to worry about while you are worrying about whether you'll be able to continue or not. You are more likely to stick with it if it's not a big burden on your mind at this overwhelmingly hard time.

Bamentch

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 12:04 am

my only advice is give yourself alot of credit-id think pumping and giving bottles of milk much better than formula...or formula for one breastmilk for the other and switch,if you can!
hatzlocha
oh and about people-its really hard (impossible!)to predict when youll need help but maybe soon youll see which people and which times of day seen most helpful...
hope the response here helps!
g'luck and mazal tov

dalia1

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:04 am

I too nursed my first singletons but when it came to the twins, it was way too overwhelming. I chose not to nurse them, and they got on a wonderful schedule and turned out healthier than my kids who I did nurse. I found the key to surviving twins is to do whatever you can to keep your sanity. If its too overwhelming, your babies will pick up on that and have an even harder time.
PP Anxiety is very common, but if it is interfering with your life, you need to speak to your OB right away. You want to be able to enjoy this short time you have with the little newborns.
Your babies benefited from the breast milk you have already given them...it may be time for you to suppliment and allow yourself a chance to get healthy and get on schedule.
Good luck!

hinda

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:33 pm

You guys here have each been great.thanks for each response,opinion and approach. Some people seem to think Im nursing exclusively and I am so not there.I am down to 40 percent nursing maybe.Some of you sent me personal responses and I hope to answer each of you and to thank you for making the time to write your experiences and to share my thoughts
Right now its my sanity first,then the nursing
I had a first week in the hospital of no lactation help, as econd week marred by a breast infectiona nd a third week marred by high, high anxiety levels.So it;s been rough and I cannot let my nursing staution exacerbate things now.enjoying my daughters is paramount now.Some days one is too tired to enjoy them,but Id like to be able to treasure them deeply each day in some way despite my exhaustion.
otherwise, we are realizng that things wont be this hard forever and that time will fly.-if only in retrospect Smile