playgroups...necessary or not?

Ruchel

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 3:59 pm

Raisin wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

GR wrote:

That wasn't a generalization.
Note my words: "at one of them...."

Secondly, I'm imagining very strange circumstances going on at your place that would make your second statement true.

Think what you want.

I don't have cleaning companies coming three times a week, a whole routine to clean EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE every day, or anything close to it.

I'm sure you are sending your dd to an official, registered place. Not all the frum playgroups in the us and elsewhere are registered, which means they can be much more lax about hygeine and teacher child ratios.

Her first daycares were unfortunately public places (those with the cleaning routines above).
She then went BH to a frum grandma who keeps some of her grandchildren and grand nephews at home. She didn't have professional cleaners but her house was spotless, a balabuste house, not at all like mine, and yes with higher hygiene standards, fitting her age and generation.

amother

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 4:07 pm

louche wrote:

Most 2 year olds don't "need" other children to play with because they don't play "with" other children in any case--they're doing "parallel play" at this stage.

So are playgroups "necessary"? Assuming this term is not a euphemism for daycare for children of working moms, but an "enrichment" thing for children of sahms, no. Nice now and then? Yes. More for the mother than for the child, maybe, and more for an only child than for one with siblings, just for a little socialization before starting preschool. But for a liitle socialization, you don't need an organized "playgroup". In my day it was called going along while your mom visited a friend who had a kid the same age as you. Kiddies played, moms shmoozed and had coffee, end of story.

I haven't read the rest of the thread, but you reminded me of a funny story. When DS2 when 2, in nursery school a few hours a week, another mother walked out of a conference incensed, and demanded that I tell the teacher that our boys are actual friends, who played together, not in parallel play. I'm not sure why it bothered her so much, but she was correct.

Anon due to very identifiable nature of story.

gold21

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 9:06 pm

thats cute, this is my old thread. I know this may make me sound sorta nutty, but then again I think most of u guys think im pretty nutty anyhow, other than those who know me IRL ;-) , but I changed my mind. I found a great playgroup for my son after putting up this thread, and he went there and thrived there. the place was legal, had 2 teachers plus a maid was there to help out with cleanup most of the time, 12 adorable kids, a positive warm morah, 4 hours a day, very age-appropriate activities and simple projects, and we loved it. its a syrian group, the syrians have the best playgroups. so, I am now totally pro-playgroup for the right child and in the right group. there are many awful playgroups, the research to find a good one is insane and takes so long. I dont understand how so many bad playgroups continue to thrive. anyways my son is now in nursery KAH and we are researching for ds2 since the afforementioned playgroup wont work out due to SOMEBODY ahem stealing my slot. just kidding just kidding. my son is born in august and is too young for that group.

WriterMom

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 9:09 pm

gold21 wrote:

Could I humbly suggest that your story indicates not that playgroups are all wrong and it's scandalous for SAHMs to put their kids in them, nor are they all wonderful, but that the "right" solution is different for every mother, child and playgroup, and that maybe we could trust other mothers to make the right call for their kids, just as you did for yours?