Dina Friedman's course. The Hisgabrus chart

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Tech_mom

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 11:48 am

I like the idea of the hisgabrus chart, but I wonder what will happen when my kids get enough checks to finish it. Then what, erase and start again?

My kids are competitive and the kid who finished will look like she is behind the others, and she won't like that. It should be something that children are doing for themselves in the end, shouldn't it.

A suggestion that I got from my chavrusa for the program: she said that she keeps a little notebook for each child and then writes down about their "high level choice" in it. They can review it and see how far they have come. I like the idea.

Anyone else have feedback on this chart and how to keep it effective after the initial startup excitement?

sarahd

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:27 pm

So far I'm still up to the initial excitement. Even my 2-year old gets excited about high "yevel" choices - although mostly it's my 5-year old making those choices.

I'm having a hard time noticing two hitgabruyot a day, though. Sad

momto4

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:36 pm

I missed the last half hour of last weeks class when dinah explained the chart and I didnt listen to this weeks ye. can u explain it to me? thanks

amother

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:36 pm

The emphasis is supposed to be on the fact that you noticed that they made the high level choice. That you are pointing out the high level choices and noticing how they are strong and all that. The chart isn't really for them. It is mostly for you. They don't even need to see the chart, really, although it is a good physical evidence of the fact that you noticed for them. You could erase it at the end of each day. There doesn't need to be any kind of accounting of the number of times you mark it. I like the notebook idea, although if you have a bunch of kids it could become too much to write down each time.

Tech_mom

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:41 pm

I hear what you are saying - that the chart is more for the mother to keep on top of the situation verbal encouragement is what the children should be getting.

But...

Why have a chart at all if the point is just to notice it and let the child know that you noticed it? As a matter of fact in the "question and answer" portion at the end, someone asks if it is really important to make a check mark. Dina's reply is a definite yes - unless it is too difficult for you as the mother. It seems that it is a concrete way of showing the accomplishment of a high level choice.

I do like the idea of erasing it and starting anew each day - but I think that my children are "keeping track" as they are used to competition and incentive based charting.

Tech_mom

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:43 pm

The hisgabrus chart:

Notice your child making a good choice and encourage them by checking it off and telling them that they are stronger now for it. Its a form positive reinforcement. The twist is: it encourages them to see that they have bechira to choose good and that each time they do so it makes it easier for the next time.

amother

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 12:50 pm

Tech_mom wrote:

It think you are right. She also mentioned that she used to do stickers, so perhaps any kind of concrete way of showing the accomplishment would be fine. The chart is a pretty simple way to do it. I actually haven't done it with my kids yet. I am a bit concerned that they will start to wonder what the prize involved is and to compete with each other. I may do erasing at the end of the day thing. We will see how it goes. I never even finish listening to the "current" week's recording until the Monday that the new one comes out. So I'm a bit slow.

Mama Bear

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 2:03 pm

I'm impressed that you ladies are implementing the chart. I'm only doing it verbally; I tell my son that he's squished the yetzer horah into nothing, he likes that better.

btw I LOVED this week's class, the '2 yr old' thing is just waht I need! But I have to listen to it again, I dont remember her actually addressing how to deal with a 2 yr old who misbehaves.

On a third note, I'm wondering if we're allowed to discuss the classes in such a public way, isnt the content of her classes supposed to be for members only? I did start a facebook group so it wuldnt be so public, I dont know, what do you think?

sarahd

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 2:14 pm

No one who hadn't listened to the classes would have a clue what we're referring to.

soulful music

Tue, Feb 02 2010, 6:25 pm

sarahd wrote:

No one who hadn't listened to the classes would have a clue what we're referring to.

I agree.
I would definitely rather discuss it here, I don't want to open a facebook account.

amother

Wed, Feb 03 2010, 12:04 am

I missed this class, and now will not be able to listen to it until pesach time. can anyone give a quick summary. I read the notes, but is there anything else I should know?

soulful music

Wed, Feb 03 2010, 9:22 am

amother wrote:

I missed this class, and now will not be able to listen to it until pesach time. can anyone give a quick summary. I read the notes, but is there anything else I should know?

Actually Henny told me that it is possible to hear any of the old classes. You click 2 once you're in and then EX: press (lesson) 6# and you get to that one.

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