How do I address a bad experience?

bigbird

Sun, Mar 07 2010, 8:07 pm

My 4yo dd has been going to swimming lessons for almost half a year and with a LOT of encouragement, eventually began blowing bubbles and putting her face in the water. A couple of months ago, there was a change of teacher and at the end of the lesson when the students are supposed to jump in and be caught by the teacher, this teacher didn't catch her. Of course, dd went right under and gave us all, not least herself, quite a shock.

Since then, while she is not scared of going into the pool and seems to love the water, she will not blow bubbles at all, let alone put her face in the water. She is making no progress even though she will tell me all week at home, "this week I'm going to put my face in and move up a level", once she gets there she will not do it. She won't scream or yell about it, she just doesn't do it. And you can be sure she does NOT want to jump in at the end of the lesson anymore. Her teacher has since changed again but there has been no change in dd's progress.

She will do it in the bath at home and she did it when we went swimming during the holidays as a family, but I need to address what happened somehow so that she can start progressing. Can someone give me some advice on what to say/do to help her get over this?

Thanks for reading!

marina

Sun, Mar 07 2010, 10:15 pm

I do not think you need to speak to her.

It is a conditioned behavior thing and it seems to be related to the physical surroundings since you say she will do it in a bath.

So I would go to the pool with her when you can and hold her in the water and see if she will put her face in when you are holding her, if so, hugs and praise should follow, etc. Next step, blowing bubbles when you are holding her, etc. Use incentives if that will work, etc. Once she does it one time, you should be all set.

gp2.0

Tue, Mar 23 2010, 10:15 pm

You might just need to be patient and give her time to let the experience fade in her memory, and keep exposing her to positive swimming experiences. I don't know if addressing it will help - you can't talk someone out of being afraid...

You know this 'trick' where you tell a child that they should swim and you'll hold onto them, and then you let go with no warning? Same as the trick with holding onto the back of the bicycle, and then letting go with no warning? Or in this case, telling a child to jump and then not catching her. Well. NEVER do this. I had it done to me as a 5 year old by a day camp counselor, and it took me years to get over it. I was afraid to put my face in the water till I was 9 or 10, and still have a deep water phobia. After years of lessons and swimming, I'm fine with water up to my chest only. Any more than that and the old fear and panic kick in, that I'm flailing in water and my feet can't touch bottom.