Do I need to be scared?!?!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Sun, Aug 01 2010, 8:39 pm

Last night & this night I put ds to bed & 5 min. later he calls me that hes scared of the doggies on the wall. The room is dark, there was no shaddow. Im getting really worried if he wasnt molested.
Im terrified!!!!!
How can I ask fish it out? Hes all of 3 yrs!!!
I asked him about getting dressed & undressed for swimming he says they get dressed outside. then a min. later he says in the classroom. Hes young, I dont know what I can believe & what not.

What can I do? Im soooo scared!!!

life'sgreat

Sun, Aug 01 2010, 8:41 pm

Why would being scared of doggies automatically make you jump to molestation? Is there any other reason that makes you suspect this?

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Aug 01 2010, 8:43 pm

He's 3?

My pediatrician told me at my ds's 3 yr check up that around that age, the imagination starts.

So too, new fears can start...even things that weren't scary can become scary.

Just tell him everything is ok. Mommy's here, tatty's here, etc. See if a night light will help if the fear of the dark persists.

In fact, both of my kids needed night lights all of a sudden around 3 yrs...after never needing them. Then, after a bit, they went back to not needing them.

louche

Sun, Aug 01 2010, 8:55 pm

OP, you're jumping to conclusions that make no sense. Young children commonly take fright at shadows, the dark, and things that go bump in the night. Unless there's something you're not saying, other behaviors that have cropped up, why would you imagine that a "doggy on the wall" is a sign of molestation? You see no shadow, but a three-year-old has a vivid imagination. he may have seen a car's headlight beam move across the wall, or a shadow that his young eyes can make out and yours cannot.

If you observe changes in daytime behavior, mood changes, inappropriate knowledge of a kind a three-year-old wouldn't normally have, interests a three-year-old wouldn't normally have, then you'd have a reason to be suspicious, maybe. Even m*sturbation is not abnormal and does not necessarily indicate molestation. If ds were afraid of a certain person, or of going to camp altogether, or if he became moody and withdrawn, then you would have reason to investigate further.

Fear of dogs is very common, btw. I don't understand how a person gets from an expressed fear of dogs--real or imagined--to suspecting molestation.

yummydd

Sun, Aug 01 2010, 9:24 pm

My 3 year old had a stage where she would often tell me at night "right there are no doggies in my room" that was after she had had a nightmare and I calmed her that there are no doggies here.... typical age fr these fears.

c.c.cookie

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 1:32 am

Please, don't jump to the worst conclusions immediately. It's perfectly normal. My almost three year old daughter told me when she went to sleep last night that the birdie was going to eat her. It's perfectly normal at this age - their imagination starts developing, but their logic is not strong enough from preventing it from getting a bit too much.

Raizle

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 2:13 am

add me to the list of people not understanding the connection between doggies on the wall and molestation.

OP unless you have other reasons to suspect, I think you have an unhealthy worry about that topic to automaticaly assume it at the first sign of something bothering your child.
It's important to be educated and aware of molestation risks but don't take it over board.

e1234

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 2:16 am

my kids also have been scared of shadows in the dark.
I would not put this together at all - it's a normal thing for children.

MommytoB

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 10:02 am

We needed a nightlight in our kids room starting at age 3 too because they were seeing funnny shadows etc. Put nightlight in, problem went away. Vey common at that age.

c.c.cookie

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 12:31 pm

Quote:

OP unless you have other reasons to suspect, I think you have an unhealthy worry about that topic to automaticaly assume it at the first sign of something bothering your child.
It's important to be educated and aware of molestation risks but don't take it over board.

I absolutely agree with this.

718

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 1:54 pm

I agree, nothing to worry about based on him being scared of the dark.
I also thought its weird when my 3 year old is scared of a bird or "mentch" but I guess its normal.
Tell him to show you where to dog is and point out that theres nothing there.

c.c.cookie

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 2:01 pm

Someone I know told me her mother put a big sign on her brother's door: "No dogs allowed!" and it helped.

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