Need to know what's considered 'normal'- kids fighting.

amother

Mon, Aug 09 2010, 12:27 am

I b'h have a 2.5 year old ds and a one year old ds. The two year old is a good boy, not wild, and for the most part well behaved. The thing is, he hurts my younger ds. Sitting on him, pushing him, and hitting him. It's not very often but when he does it bothers me so much. My issue is that I grew up in a house where the kids never ever fought with each other. It was never tolerated and it rarely ever happened. Even the boys schools never tolerated it. If a boy started a fight it was immeditally stopped and the boys would get in trouble. In my inlaws house the younger boys are always beating each other up. I don't think there is moment without two of the boys fighting. And in their schools, boys fight all the time. That's just what they do. That's probably why I can't stand seeing kids fighting with each other, and do not want mine to grow up like that. Dh on the other hand says it's normal for boys to fight like that, I think it's not normal. Please tell me what is normal. I know boys will be boys and fight, but to what extent? Also, does anyone have any tips to not have my older ds hurt the younger one?
I'm just curious, do little girls (like 2-3) get phyisical? Or is it only a boys thing?

cuties' mom

Mon, Aug 09 2010, 8:19 am

Sorry, but my sisters and I used to always fight physically. At this age, jelousy is normal and because its hard for kids to express themselves verbally, they respond physically. With my boys, some things get immediate time-outs along with a brief explanation for why its not allowed like eye poking, sitting on baby's head, tackling head or neck, etc. B'H I haven't seen these behaviors in almost a year. Other things may be considered playing by both kids and I wait for my baby's reaction before getting involved. If yds doesn't like it, I tell him to say "no!" and explain to ods why yds doesn't like it. If it happens again, ods gets a time-out. If yds doesn't mind (things like ods putting his head on his lap),I let it go.

MiracleMama

Mon, Aug 09 2010, 8:26 am

Sounds totally normal to me. My son, now almost 4, spent about a year knocking over his younger sisters, who just turned 2, every chance he got. I was in shock. He is the sweetest, most gentle kid and I could not understand what got into him. I was so worried that he hated them, that this was going to be a long-term problem, that he was going to cause them serious, serious injury one day. Every time I reprimanded him and gave time out and nothing seemed to help. I spoke to lots of other parents and thankfully they all said their kids are/were the same. And now, B"H they all play beautifully together.
It's a phase. It will pass. It's normal.

c.c.cookie

Tue, Aug 10 2010, 1:44 am

It's normal, but that doesn't necessarily mean you should sit back and watch them fight. Try to separate them, distract them etc. and if the older one is really bothering the younger one for no reason (and not because he is disturbing him, getting in his way etc.), I would punish a couple of times to show him that that's not acceptable.